Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Updates - Bangaluru-Mangaluru-Suckuluru

J has left Bangaluru (this sucks) to be at Mangaluru (this sucks more) for a month before she gets married. She asked me to take care of her brother so I have taken it upon myself to wake him up every morning. How do I do it? Jeevan!!!!!! Bang on the door. Jeevan Bang! Bang! Jeevaaannn Bang Bang Bang!! By this time, I have managed to wake up the neighbours too. A good deed done, I go back to bed. After two days, J called me up asking if I wake him up everyday. I heard he is vacating the house soon.

Switched job again. There are some people for instance J, who stuck to one organization for 5 yrs. How? I just don’t know. The first day I join an organization a thought creeps up somewhere “where after this?” It is not happening this time. So I guess, I will be sticking here for sometime one main reason being the lunch, which is free. I may even become one of the pillars of the building. If I am thrown out, I’ll be looking out again saying to myself, "Little did I know how little I know!" If this line appears as a blog entry someday, kindly send your condolences over the loss of my job which came with free lunches. Got a farewell party from my old organization. It moved me as I did not work there for even a year. I carry along sweet memories of shared lunch boxes and good camaraderie. Blogging is a very private thing and I hope I get to do it from the privacy of my office wherever I go.

Passing thought: "Good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgement" ~ Barry LePatner

Wish you all a prosperous New Year 2006!!!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Auspicious time

“Tujhe dekh dekh sona
Tujhje dekh kar hain jagna
Mene ye zindagani
Sang tere bitaani
Tujhme basi hain meri jaan
Jeeya dharak dharak jaye “

Have been listening to this song from the recently released Kalyug, over and over again waiting for an auspicious time to start concentrating on work. Now, it is time to go home. Have a nice evening! :-)

(Don't follow the the time settings of my blog)

Sunday, December 18, 2005

No luxury in any goodbye

I thought, “How could it end even without the luxury of a goodbye?” but then there is no luxury in any goodbye.

There is just one life, there are so many people-caring and beautiful
And there is me going over a loop of heartbreaks with just one you
Adieu my friend for it hurts to see you try so hard
I have no intention of having you by stealing from you that thing called compassion
I believe you loved me though I was never sure
If you did, your secret is safe with me
The world is all yours to conquer
I choose to lose, I choose to love.

Like a child building castles on the seashore just to see them washed away by the raging waves, foolish dreams I have dreamt day by day…

Friday, December 09, 2005

For lack of any idea

Saw it in her blog.

Smoke a cigarette: I was caught smoking biddi with my cousin when we were in the 2nd or 3rd standard. Not a good first question. Got royal thrashing from Mom and aunt. Smoked once more last year.
Been In Love: why not?
Been Dumped: I call it the divine intervention. When the fire dies in a relationship, what’s the point in checking who the dumper or the dumpy is? It is not the man in my life but the life in my man that matters.
Shoplifted: No
Been fired: yeah! My sister gifted me a green beauty spot on my cheek. My face went on the way as she was trying to throw away a burnt match stick one midnight
Been in a fist fight: Fist, legs, nails mostly with that cousin again. Mom and Aunt came back from work to find us often with boils on the head, teeth marks and scratches. Later we became friends and made bows and arrows to fight neighbors. (Ramayana was a mega hit those days)
Snuck out of your parents house: Yup.
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back: Never clarified with him.
Been arrested: By my brother as I was trying to climb a chair to open the main door and sneak out for morning walks at 4.30 in the morning.
Gone on a blind date: Many dates with my eyes wide open.
Lied to a friend: Never (tra la la wicked grin)
Skipped school: Didn’t have to as I was mentally absent when it got boring.
Seen someone die: My dog, Snoopy. I lost more than 5 kgs when it happened
Had a crush on one of your internet friends:It is better if it is the other way round.
Been to Canada: Google Earth (I had a free consultation from a doctor there)
Been to Mexico: Next Question
Been on a plane: Don’t you think the questions are getting assholic? I also rode a horse. I mean sat on one. I have loaded real guns. I have seen a real hand grenade. Ok, that’s exaggeration.
Purposely set a part of yourself on fire: My ass for eating too much chilly. Ok, it was not really on purpose though I love hot dishes.
Eaten sushi: Nope.
Met someone in person from the internet: yes, many.
Taken painkillers: yes
Loved and missed someone: yes
Flown a kite: Yes
Built a sand castle: It was black soil.
Gone puddle jumping: yes, yes, yes
Cheated while playing a game: then what?
Been lonely: yes
Fallen asleep at work or school: yes, oh yes. All these 'yes' is starting to sound like a porn flick.
Used a fake id: Yes, I use J’s id card for some beauty products.
Watched a sun set: yes
Felt an earthquake: Yes
Touched a snake: I hate slimy creatures.
Slept beneath the stars: Beneath the stars, under the roof.
Been robbed: Yes, why do you keep reminding?
Been misunderstood: I guess so.
Petted a reindeer/goat: No
Won a contest: Wanted to be Miss India but realised my age has reached the expiry date even before filling up the forms. I will be trying for Mother India.
Run a red light/stop sign: Twice and fined. Not me, the driver.
Been suspended from school: Na re na na
Been in a car accident: My goodness gracious me!! What are you asking?
Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night: No, but once I made someone buy me 4 cones for pissing me off and had it all alone.
Had Deja vu: yes
Danced in the moonlight: Yes
Witnessed a crime: Yes, I saw a thief right in front of me and I couldn’t scream.
Been obsessed with post-it notes: Not really.
Been lost: Yes, in Delhi when I was a little over 2. I would’ve been begging somewhere, one kid in my arms another at my back and pregnant with the third if my parents didn’t find me that day. (I held the palloo of another lady thinking she is my mom and followed her.)
Been on the opposite side of the country: Yes, I am from the opposite side. (kind of)
Swam in the ocean: Floated due to the waves but held on to my dad yay!!
Cried yourself to sleep: sometimes.
Played cops and robbers: Yes, childhood has given me some lovely stitches.
Paid a meal only with coins: No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't: many times.
Made prank phone calls: I personally didn’t but I would like to share an incident. That guy is married and settled in Bangalore now and much senior to us. He was going around with one of my schoolmates. All of us met after our boards and then some friends called him up. The moment he picked up the phone we played the dialogue from the movie, Criminal “Darling, every breathe you take… What could I do without you? I will always love you forever and ever.” We kept the phone and laughed like nuts. Unfortunately, this school friend has passed away in an accident.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue: Where is the snow?
Written a letter to Santa Claus: No
Been kissed under the mistletoe by your boyfriend: Boyfriend? Where? Wears her boy-chaser T shirt and runs.
Watched the sun rise with someone you care about: where is the east?
Blown bubbles: Yes
Bonfire on the beach: Bonfire but not on the beach.
Cheated on a test: Yes. United we stand, divided we fail. If I touch my nose, it is True and if I touch my ears, it is False.
Been kissed by someone you didn't like: Dare!! (but then I might have been :-) I was a cute child. Mom said so )
Skinny-dipping in a pool: Dipping in a pool yes, skinny-dipping no.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

To watch or not to watch

Deewane Huwe Pagal:
First thing that comes to mind- There’s something about Mary. Tanya, in this case.
The basic plot or theme is copied, so is the music.
Border and Refugee doesn’t happen everyday. Therefore, Anu Malik has resorted to what he does best: copy.
Vivek Obey-Rai (courtesy manuscrypts) is the Sutradhar. He is definitely not getting enough movies. I won’t give him even a 502 Pattaka Biddi ad to do.
Kareena Kapoor’s 'son-looking' boyfriend, Shahid Kapoor is in the movie. I can’t stand her and I can’t stand him for no fault of his.
Too many characters careen in and out of each other's lives.
I would have preferred Sushmita Sen in the lead and not Rimi Sen. She can be the cynosure of the entire cast. Rimi sen wore long skirts. I wouldn’t mind short ones from her.
Most of them act as if they are physically challenged.
Fight scenes did not look like fight scenes but rather a bike show.
Akshay's name is rocky, Paresh Rawal's name is Tommy and the dog's name is Jayanty Lal. So funny, nooooo?

Watch this movie for Akshay Kumar alone. Rocky rocks. There is one more scene near the swimming pool from Paresh Rawal that was real good.
The dance sequences are good.

My favourite scene: Akshay knows that the girl would like her man to be an architect. So, the next day, he comes with a bag with ARCHITECT written big and bold. He makes her hold it as he bashes some hired goons. Later the girl asks him,”You are an architect?” He replies, ”How did you know?” The girl showed the bag and he comments, ”Sharp eyes!!”

One time watchable preferably at home. (Roomie slept in the theatre but she ate the pop-corns)

A good woman: A young couple's marriage is put in jeopardy by high-society gossip of an affair blossoming. The combo of Helen Hunt and Scarlett Johannson cannot fail us. Based on a play by Oscar Wilde, it is an amalgamation of comedy, witty dialogues, good script and acting. A must-watch.

Some lines: Every saint has a past. Every sinner has a future.
The best way to keep your word is by not giving it away (food for thought)
Sometimes marriage is a burden and it needs to share the load between three people.

Deleted yesterday's post. It was therapeutic but I didn't like it.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Party ahoy!!

I was at the Leela Palace on Sunday, cheering for a friend in a dance competition. I was supposed to partner him but it did not happen. (long story) It also turned out that he was participating in the beginners' level meaning I have learnt much more than him. Stop yawning!! I am trying to praise myself without being very obvious. If you have a better way of doing it, kindly share thy wisdom with me .

So, I cheered and hooted and did all that was supposed to be done until they lost in the first round itself. So much for my moral support! As expected, Prasad Bidapa and Keerthi Reddy were present. The two of them along with a dance instructor were the judges. In Bangalore, one would usually chance upon Rani Jeyraj, Vasundhra Das, Vani Ganapathy, Anita Nair, Priscilla Connors besides the above two and even some cricketers cutting ribbons, admiring arts, science, non-sense et al.

Prasad Bidapa smoked holding his cigarette at 45 degrees. After the competition, Keerthi Reddy spoke “kai kai kai so good…kai kai kai so good” I don’t have to tell anything about her voice. (let her acting rest in peace)

I was so glad to see my first room-mate in Bangalore participating in the competition. We were together just for one year after which she left to do her P.G in the North. (It was some 6-7 yrs back)

Then the party began. This time, I did not resort to Sprite but to Red Bull and hence, the energy level was not very high.
Met some seniors too. They have changed the dance institute but are still dancing. I wanted to be like some girls out there who danced so well. You should see them splitting sideways, in front and almost falling flat on the ground without ever losing balance. Seriously thinking of going back to Salsa again.

Watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire after work yesterday. I carried a whistle along and acted like one Hairy Ponting fan. After all the fun in the past two days, found it too tough to wake up in the morning. yawn!!

There, I managed to spew out a post. Good bye!!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Long Winter

J marched in to my room an apple in hand around 11.30 pm. It was straight from a tree at Shimla according to her colleague. Half asleep, I had some bites and started yapping about her much awaited marriage. She had been to Mumbai to meet her would be in-laws.

I did not get sleep after she left and started flipping through the albums just to notice that we have no proper snaps together. We were always in some costume with blood red lips or even with moustaches ready to go on stage, on the stage or had just come down from the stage. In one snap, we were laughing wearing similar night dresses and in another, a pile of mehendi sat on our heads like a heap of cow dung as we displayed our not-so-lovely teeth. Some years later, I know they will be the best snaps we had together.

Her wedding is on the 22nd of Jan. She will be leaving Bangalore next month. Our days together are numbered now. My roomie is also planning to go home for Christmas. I cannot take leave for sure. Sometimes, I feel like relocating to a different city. I feel I have been clinging to this city obstinately for no reason. It is going to be a long cold winter for me. I’ll try to hold on to the warm memories.

Inspite of this despondency or melancholy, the funniest part is that the woman in me can’t help thinking what am I going to wear for the wedding? :-)

Watched The Motorcycle Diaries. It is the dramatization of a motorcycle road trip Che Guevara went on in his youth that showed him his life's calling. My heart went bling bling over Gael García Bernal (learnt his name just now). He rocks.

Read Africa-The worst place there is to be a woman - who somehow manage to carry that entire continent on their backs.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

She has found a home

Brinda and Divya were disowned by their respective parents and left in the orphanage around the same time. They grew up together as playmates and friends. Divya found a family when they were a little above two (I had posted about her).

Among all the kids in the orphanage somehow, Brinda had touched me the most. This child was almost 3 and her eyes were lonely. I still remember her hesitant steps and how it took time to break the ice with her. At last, she had hugged me and gave a hearty laugh but that laugh had no sound.

Nishita (friend’s niece) and Ankita (my niece) are in the same age group of Brinda and they are very naughty. They scream, sing and shout over the phone and make us all dance to their tunes. They are so exuberant and keep bouncing around gaily so unlike Brinda. I wished Brinda would find that sense of security in a home, the love of a family and add music to that silent laughter.

Brinda has been adopted. She has left for the States. yeah!!!!! Now, Aryamaan and Neela has also been adopted. The number of children in the children's home has also reduced. Glad to know it.

I salute the ayas there who has been caring for the kids as their own. It takes much more than love to do it.

Watched Kyon Ki. It is a shitty movie and not even worth a pirated CD. Should be watched while channel surfing. Personally, I would prefer watching the commercials.
Seems it is copied from a 20 yr old Malayalam movie.

I could see parts of it being stolen from the Waheeda Rehman starrer, Khamoshi. (It is one of my favourite movies with lovely songs). It is not even one percent as good as Khamoshi.
Assholes! they can't even copy it properly. Can’t believe it is Priyadarshan’s movie.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

one night@the call center

I liked the cover design of Five Point Someone apart from the character delineation and humour. After reading his second book, one night @ the call center (or even before reading it), I can say Chetan Bhagat is an intelligent writer. He knows his target audience and he knows how to market the books. Yes, contemporary but not classics as pointed out in his website.

As the title suggests, it deals with the life of Shyam Mehra or agent Sam Marcy as he hellos himself to his clients and his colleagues in a call center. It gives an insight (or do we already know?) on their lives.

Yes, it talks about people who kill their creativity and ambition to earn a few bucks more, of those who are forced to work to keep the family going, the hyped up and glamorized perks, of pizzas and cokes, pubs, dark circles, low-waist jeans, relationships and the tyranny of a boss.

However, the book did not have any character who felt that call center jobs are the coolest. I know a couple of them.

I also felt Chetan is trying to teach us Moral Science by bringing in a God factor and talking about inner voice.

I quote some lines here to highlight the essence of the book.

He remembered the suggested line in such a situation.’Sir, I request you not to use that language.’
‘Oh really?’ Then make your fucking hoover work.’
… ‘Sir, you need to change the dust bags when they are full.’
‘who am I speaking to?’ the voice on the phone became agitated.’Victor, sir.’
‘Tell me your fucking name. You’re some kid in India, isn’t it?
‘Sir, I am afraid I can’t disclose my location.’

‘I want a job that pays me to be mean. All they tell us in the call center is”Be nice, be polite, be helpful”. Being mean is so much more fun.'

'Only women think there is a reason to thank people if they listen to them. '

'Now, this is something women never have to deal with: standing next to your boss as he pees is one of the world’s most awkward situations.'

‘Think about this. The people who gave birth to me can’t stop hating each other enough. What does that tell you about me? Half my genes must be fighting with the other half. No wonder I am so fucking messed up.’

‘Our government doesn’t realize this, but Americans are using us. We are sacrificing an entire generation to survive their call centers.’

‘By the way do you have a condom?’, she said.
‘Yes, sir. We live in constant hope’, I said. "

As, I asked before, Do we already know? Yes, we do but I was too greedy to finish it and did it in a few hours. Published by Rupa & Co and priced at RS. 95, I don’t think anybody can stop the sell whatever be the reason.

Friday, October 28, 2005

A passing thought

Two years too late she realised she was just like an enticing flower in the wild to him-exotic, vibrant and almost seductive. All he did was admire her from a distance without actually wishing to take her home. Two years too late, she realised she had been living just the passing thought of a wanderer.

That was for you Zypsy, my story of 55 words. Sorry, I have been postponing it. I know it sucks but thats creativity at the moment. I am not tagging anyone. Anybody can do it.

We are celebrating Diwali today as we are not working for the next 5 days. How compromising God is!!

I am in a red saree. It was made a rule that those who do not come in ethnic wear will not get samosas and sweets. Naturally, I had to wear. It is going to be a long week-end and lonely one for me. J has gone home, 1 room-mate has also gone.

Visiting the orphanage with the Burmese roomie.

Wish you all a happy Diwali.

Going through a personal crisis too. I pray to God to give me one more day and a little more strength to face it all. On the left side of my chest, something pumps. ouch!!!!

Well, what’s pain if it was so easy to bear?

(people, I'll get back to my cheerful self soon.)

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

There, she goes

Too proud to say that I’ll be missing her, I stood all alone in the terrace just asking to myself WHY? She breezed through my life after 14 years, a smarter and a more confident woman and a complete transition from the frail silent classmate I knew. She had claimed in front of the class teacher and the entire class that I was her best friend. I really felt nice as it was a prestige to have someone claim that way in those infantile days. I shared lunches, let her copy home-works and partnered her in any group-games. We separated in between as she left the State to study in another.

It was just yesterday that we had re-lived those memories and laughed over how possessive we were about best friends in those days.
It was just yesterday that she had told me how she sat in front of a Lorry to direct the driver as she brought the furniture home along with the other roomie.
It was just yesterday that we had worn the shortest skirts and wrap-around we have and danced in the huge kitchen over loud music and a dal tarka.
It was just yesterday that I feigned surprise over her possessing a stethoscope. I teased that I expected Ayurvedic Doctors to feel the nerves and give a Chavanprash.
It was just yesterday that we had planned to float her resume as she did not want to join the hospital where she was appointed.
It was just yesterday that we allowed laziness to take over and stared at the flour expecting it to turn into chapatti on its own but decided bread and butter tastes better.
It was just yesterday that we decided to exercise to firm up everything that needs to be firmed up.

She suddenly announced that she is going home as there are problems, doesn’t want to work here and that she is getting married. Her guy told her he cannot live without her. I don’t know if the intransigence was mine or hers. After 45 minutes of talking almost glibly why she wants to throw away everything so soon, she finally reasoned this is our age to get married. I blurted,”Oh F@$#%! I didn’t know that this is the age to get married. I don’t have any problems at home and I don’t know how it is to be committed to a guy. Please carry on and get married.” Funnily, it made her cry. Told her she is welcome to come back anytime.

Slowly but surely, I find people receding from my life. The pleasure was mine in knowing them. I let them go gladly. I let them go gladly…

Life, friendship, love and the aching sweetness of them all!

Thursday, October 20, 2005


I am in a state of bliss
I am indifferent to the indifference
Provoke me
See if I care

Friday, October 14, 2005

Perfidious heart!!!

“I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere newI don't know who you are…”

For most part of the past two years, I thought this was my song. Even while I was dating and flirting with some of the most eligible bachelors.

He was one of the best guys that happened to me. He crossed miles just so that things could be formalized. I don’t know how I ended up being so selfish. I don’t know when things went so askance, when my heart turned perfidious and when I slipped away? Read it true that the street slang of life is one word-irony. Perhaps, I just love being sad. Perhaps, I am not really a nice person to know.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

54 and counting

Haven’t been regular and I just realized that saying I am busy sounds like a loser. All of us have the same number of hours in a day. Therefore, I am going to gossip on this page.

This time it is about a guy. He is from one of the best Management Schools with a very successful career. What I am trying to say is he has got brains and let’s assumes he is a very nice person too. This guy went through the process of wife-hunting. He saw 54 girls. Here, by ‘saw’ I don’t mean just scanning through the snaps. ‘Saw’ as in going to the girls’ house or meeting her and trying to know her, scaling her with certain yardsticks. Very much like the serial Mr. Yogi played by the late Mohan Gokhle. The serial had a better ending as he went for someone who helped him one day without expecting anything back from him.

Perhaps, this guy got the inspiration from someone who said we often get the best if we insist on it but forgot to define what is meant by ‘the best’ according to him. He married the 49th girl and divorced her after 2 years. If he is happily single today, I have no comments but I pity this lost soul as his mission-wife failed terribly and if he decides to remain single, he is going to die without knowing one of the best joys of human bonding. He had even started writing a book on it.

Marriage, for that matter the Indian Marriage is still considered the best institution in the world. No matter how absurd it sounds, arranged marriage works pretty well. It is ok in chasing the illusion called perfection but before he goes through the ordeal, ‘Once bitten, twice shy’ or even ‘twice bitten never shy’, I wish to tell this highly educated moron not to flunk life (I don’t think those 54 girls must be just anybody. People do see the backgrounds both educational and social before approaching each other if it is an arrange marriage.) but to first know what he wants in a woman or even to believe in second chances. It is ok to expect but learn to give a little more and realize that even the so so oooh aah starlets do the boobs or the nose job.

Title suggested by Hemanshu.

Monday, September 26, 2005

It is ok to cry

I accompanied my friend to meet her uncle and cousin, who has come here for a para-medical course. Her uncle told me that he is scared to go in the evening to drop her to the hostel as he feared that he would cry. He infact asked us if we could do it for him. I wanted to say that it is ok to cry but just suggested that it would be nice for the girl to be dropped by the parent. As we reached the hostel, he hastened the goodbye process and told her to go inside abruptly as her eyes started misting. I just gave her a tight hug and told her not to worry about anything. (doing the sister act)

Uncle was very upset but controlled himself and this made me think how funny men are! They can’t even express one of the most natural and lovely emotions. They need to be loved so much more and to be taught how it is to cry.

As I type this, I think about my dad too. I saw my dad close to breaking down only once. I hated it because it broke my heart and I didn’t know what to do about it. Now, I know it is all because of the way we are brought up.

I don’t remember being cuddled or hugged by him. I always had to think twice before I opened my mouth as he was the disciplinarian.

I never gave up though. Even though our words were few, I often accompanied him while going for evening walks as that was the time I bonded with him. I made it a point to always hold his hand when we cross the road. I do it even now as that is the only time I touch my dad. I don’t want him to forget how it is to hold his child and how secure I feel by that touch.

It is ok to cry. I don't think it is a weakness. It expresses anger, angst, love, disappointment, happiness that words sometimes fail to do.

I cry over a Govinda flick too. That's a little too much I know :-)

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

The adventures of two tomatoes-me and J

As we Salaam-Namaste-ed and came out, we noticed her. She was far from pretty and neither had the face nor the assets. She did have a good height though. She was taller than J so she must be 5 ‘7.5” or so but very thin. A shining thing could be seen dangling from the navel through the black see-through kurta. Whatever clothing was inside it was really less. Her hair was yellowish brown or brownish yellow and she swayed on Brigade road with her mouth pouted in some kind of a way. Everybody who passed by her, turned their heads to look.

I asked to J, ”Are you thinking what I am thinking?” She nodded. The ‘Sting Operation’ button in us went beep* beep* and we decided to follow her. Left, right, left we went, maintaining a comfortable distance behind her. J cautioned me to walk slowly lest people notice what we were up to. We acted as if we were window shopping and pointed at some mannequins randomly all the time concentrating on her steps. Then, we saw it. Oh my God! We just halted in our steps.

One man from nowhere started walking by her side, shoulder to shoulder. He looked at her through his shoulder and caught her glance. The body language between the two told it. Suddenly, she left the guy and crossed the road. We didn’t know what to do and went ahead. Our beep beep button had already become a siren by then. We looked back and saw the man still standing at the corner. Not being able to decide our next step, we took a right and then decided to turn back again. The guy was still standing there. We walked passed him and entered a music store to glance through the window. By that time, the guy too had vanished. The ‘Sting Operation’ fuse went off.

As I narrated the incident to my colleagues, one of them asked, ”two-girls in a green car?” It was not but the two girls in a green car were our first “Are you thinking what I am thinking?”

Friday, September 16, 2005

By the bus stop

She is the daughter of the cobbler, who sits by the Bus Stop near the Hostel. We became friends and I used to let her hold my hand as I waited for the bus. I couldn’t capture her dimples and the wonderful smile. Now, I don't go there anymore. Planning to frame it and gift it to her dad. He had asked me if he could see it.

Monday, September 12, 2005


Work Scenario

I am caught up between some stinky projects. Everything seems to be happening at breakneck speed. How I miss those days where I sat staring at some documents flickering on the screen! After sometime, nothing would make sense. To do away with my guilt, I would peep at the next cubicle just to see my colleague doing the same thing or be happier still if she would be staring not at the monitor but at the wall. The documents sometimes would be highlighted in all colors known to man meaning it is the nth version I would waste half a day not thinking what value add I would provide but which color should I use to highlight the changes. The messenger would be flickering silently at one corner. Then I would wait and wait for a respectable time to shut down the system, a day’s work done diligently. Now, work is happening left, right and centre. “Calm seas seldom make a skillful sailor” Nice motivating words! Given a chance, I would like to do something with the projects on the floor. Mutilate, Strangle, jump on them or feed some pigs. But I want my salary and timely hikes with all incentives possible.


I have not one but two roomies now. One is from Myanmaar. We all look the same, so why am I even saying this? Anyway, apart from belonging to different countries, we are actually very different in terms of customs, cultures and food habits.

We are using our old mugs for now. So, the theme right now is the “United Colours of Benetton” Our mugs are of different colours, shapes and sizes. Decorative stuffs like wall hanging and soft toys are taken care of by the gifts from our ex-boyfriends. We had a laugh riot fishing it out very shamelessly.


Watched a lot of movies. Among the latest, liked 'Iqbaal' and 'No Entry'.


Catch 22, Vikram Seth’s 'Two lives' in the wish list.


Thanks for the mails and the reminders. Some 5 new readers mailed me saying they have read all the posts so far. Now, shy is coming to me. One of them asked me a very funny question-“why do you want 3 kids and not 4? “ Well, I think 3 is a sexy number :-)


J is very angry with me. She is my neighbour now. To face her, I think I’ll need protection. Which is the best helmet brand?

And to end the day and the post, I bought some sexy lingerie. I wish I was superman.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Moving Out

Dear Hostel mates,

Now that I am vacating, you people can sleep peacefully. Kindly contribute and help me set up a house. I accept anything to do with homemaking, from a spoon to a car. Please contribute generously. You can keep the warden.

Yours truly


The Hostel Crowd is getting younger and more hip. So me, the antique piece has decided it’s time to move out.

A doctor of the Ayurvedic kind, who also happens to be my school friend suddenly got dropped from nowhere and we decided to be house-mates. Got a two-bedroom house not far away from where I am staying currently.

Now, It’s time I decide between pateto, potato, tameto or tomato but there is Bread and there is Jam and there is Maggie and I’ll survive.

I will miss my hostel mates and my room immensely. Aged between 21 and 27, we were Engineers, Journos, Nurses, Architects, HRs, Writers, Lawyers, Sales and Marketing executives, CSRs, Receptionists and Admins. There were friends, who were the only earning member in the family that their parents actually didn’t want them married. There were those who earned fat salaries but saved every pie for dowry. (Seems a good husband cost nothing below Rs. 50 lakhs). I laughed at it all but I guess I did that cos my community do not practice dowry. There were those who shouldered responsibility to construct their own house and move out, those who supported a less accomplished elder brother also those like me, who never save and only shop.

On a week-end, I see these girls coming out and going in. There is a certain resplendent aura that they exude. Perhaps, it is independence, perhaps it is youth and I am proud I was one of them.

We practiced the birthright of a woman- gossiping over potato chips and magazines. The lofty minds got together and discussed sales, males and lingerie, fiancés and finances, carried tales or was the mother of some tales and kept a secret together. The woman in me was sometimes an eager participant in all these.

I’ll miss all the ”Have a nice day!, How was your day?” greetings. I always had someone to talk to and someone who understood and someone who would collect my clothes when it rains as I continued my slapdash ways.

When I was very young, we left our ancestral home to stay in the VIP area. (The only area where there is no power cuts or water shortage) We shifted many a times to many quarters until we built another house again. Through it all, I learnt to enjoy each place and cherish the people I associated with. Nowadays, everybody is mobile and adapt anywhere but as a child, there was a certain longing for a place called home, for stability and consistency.

Pompy blogged that there is an immense pleasure in even buying a spoon for a place called home. I can only echo her words. Perhaps, I’d die of happiness if I were to marry and settle down in her sense. I am all excited for now. Need to set up the kitchen and everything else from scratch. I am already thinking about curtains and colour co-ordination. I don’t know how many of my dreams I can live but I haven’t stopped dreaming.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Reality Check

Life is difficult.

“The Road Less Traveled” by M.Scott Peck also starts with this line and life is easier by accepting this fact.

There are no free lunches (even for eligible single girls. There is always a motive behind the free lunches if you observe)

Everybody has an option. (Be it your client or your BF/GF)

Time is precious. (So is every ticking moment of my life. Not going to squander it away. )

Money talks. (Need to work harder, need to work smarter)

Friday, August 19, 2005

Raksha Bandhan

forwarded stuff but a good one

"..agar aap bus, train, plane ya kahin se bhi aa jaa rahe hon...aur kisi
mahila athva larki ke hath mein phool, dhaga, chain ya chamakti hue koi bhi
vastu dekhein to turant wahan se bhag jaye.Ye vastu RAKHI ho sakti hai. Apki
zara se laaparwahi apko BHAI bana sakti hai."

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Man Gall Pun Day!!

When he is not shooting or endorsing products, perhaps he is blogging.

Check this out.

Mr. Aamir Khan, much as I admire you, me says it is done by a hired help. Anyway, as far as the movie goes, I got the ticket from black and tried to be the loyal fan. The dance and song sequences could be scissored. Amisha only wailed. I fell for your phirang friend and loved you to the core.

Were you trying too hard? Why couldn't I carry it along with me? It parted as I parted the movie hall.

I have this feeling of having savoured and sampled all the delicacies yet having missed a wholesome meal.

Man Gall Pun Day!!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

what is this ad all about?

“After a hard days work we can hardly wait to do it. “

“I did it once a week, now I do it almost everyday.”

“The more I do it, the better I am getting at it.”

“I never imagined I’d have so much fun doing it”

What is this ad all about? So far I have seen these four variations.

They succeeded in getting some morons to stand and even memorize the lines. So, will it be called good advertising?

Anyway, you read it. Now, read this:

“Sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears. When you are worried, no one sees your pain. When you are happy, no one sees your smile. Try farting and see the attention you get. “

Thursday, August 11, 2005


For quite sometime, I have felt amiss my good self. I am getting irritated, losing appetite, not concentrating at work, fighting with whoever comes online.

I switch off my cell and claim, “now, I have no addictions” but after 10 minutes I switch it on and in fact ask someone to give me a missed call just to check if it still rings. The cycle has been repeating.

Is it PMS or is Doomsday coming? Is it the dreaded disease loving-a-bastarditis?

I need to breathe, I need to breathe. Inhale, Exhale, Hee Haw… Hee Haw...

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

My daddy bestest

Dad retired last month, the same day Stone’s did. It was so sweet to see your post Stone. A few months back, when mom tried talking ’post retirement plans’, it seems he got angry. Retirement is a different ball game altogether, a new phase of life. I wish my mom a lot of patience, tolerance and love towards my dad as she is the one who has to balance between a very short-tempered companion and another 7 yrs of service :-)

I can relate to my dad as someone who has always been busy that at times I felt I missed growing up with him. Like most other Government Officials of my state or in the North-East, he too had a love-hate relationship with his job- vehicle being hi-jacked and burnt by militants, being marooned to some place unknown, being instrumental in installing new projects just to see them bomb blasted and destroyed the next day. I remember dad skipping breakfast many a times rushing to get things done and then sulk when such news were heard.

On the brighter side, we were exposed to many cultures and food habits from a very young age, had many friends and traveled a lot. Amidst his busy official tours and schedules, he did manage to iron my uniform and polish my shoes.

They gave a big farewell party. It must be really touching to leave the job or the department you were associated with from the start to the end of your career. Like all daughters, I like to believe that my dad is faultless and I am proud that he is the first Telecom Engineer of the state.

I admire his eager life and know he will find some very interesting hobby. I only pray that the bottle doesn’t come in between.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

movies and more movies

There is always the fun of watching a movie in the first week itself. I try to do it though I am often unsuccessful. There are some friends who try to catch up on the premiere before it is released and blog with spoilers. Yes, mean but fun for being the first. So, here are a few lines on each of them. Would have loved to do elaborate reviews but too much garbage is bad.

Meine Pyar (phone) Kyung Kiya? : Don’t insult your intelligence by thinking, just laugh.

Fantastic Four: Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Anyman. Change the character and all are the same. But that is what we expect and enjoy too.

Sarkar: The father of bollywood, Mr. Amitabh is acting in every movie or is lending his voice and he still rules but the best part is Abhishek is not overshadowed by his father and pulls his part well. The son of the angry young man is heading to become the gentleman of bollywood with his charisma and panache. I loved every ticking second of the movie. Though I have read the book, I am yet to watch the Godfather.

Dark Waters (or is it Black?): Decided better things could be done rather than parking our asses on the seat so, left halfway.

Parineeta: Everything good that I heard turned out to be true. Loved her Fragility and the steely endurance. I cried for her, I cried for love, I cried for myself. How I relate them, I don’t know. I just do it. yes, I am a sucker for melodrama, give me more!!!!

Last heard, some people of Abuja cement has resigned as Saif broke the wall too easily.

The Island: After heavyweights like Pearl Harbor, Armageddon ( haven't watched The Rock), It's natural to expect much more from Michael Bay and harness certain prejudices. The Island is not an ideal summer umm monsoon pop-corn flick but it is very much digestable for one- it can be enjoyed more on the big screen, two- Scarlett Johansson is a luminous and good camera subject (liked her from Lost in Translation), three- the two protagonists-Lincoln Six Echo (McGregor) and Jordan Two-Delta (Scarlett) play the characters with conviction and credibility, four- The film succeeds in making you feel for the characters, five- There are sci-fi premises, blistering action sequences with futuristic flying machines much to the likes of video games.

Based on the much debated topic, human cloning, Lincoln Six Echo, a clone of a Scottish playboy and many like him live an aimless life in a container which is isolated. All they know is that they are protected from contamination. The only hope in their desultory existence is the promise of life in an idyllic island which is supposedly the last uncontaminated place on the earth. He stumbles to the truth of their existence one day and escape with his co-inhabitant, Jordan Two Delta- who turned out to be the clone of a Calvin Klien Supermodel. The chase, the truth and the debatable concept is worth looking out for.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Caught my attention

“On July 30, India will make its biggest noise against the global killer HIV/AIDS.

In a unique effort to spread AIDS awareness, the ministry of health has asked all citizens of Andhra Pradesh to make as much noise as possible, as a way to announce their fight against AIDS.

Drivers have been asked to blow their horns, housewives will rattle their utensils, police officials and ministers will blow their sirens, cyclists will ring their bells and curious onlookers will scream, moments after Andhra Chief Minister Y.S. R Reddy reads out a public pledge to fight the disease at a sports stadium in Hyderabad. The pledge will be taken by and in front of over 3,500 VVIPs and who’s who of Hyderabad.

Over 500 street plays will be performed and 500 condom machines will also be installed and inaugurated on the same day.

Condom blowing and tearing competitions will also be held.
Four renowned filmstars of the South will flag off four rallies. The rallies will culminate at the stadium where the public pledge will be read out exactly at 12 noon. It will be broadcast live on the national television. This will be by far India’s biggest and loudest public campaign against AIDS.” - TOI

And here I would like to share the punch lines of a small film where my friend’s sister has worked on. The concept is simple and very beautiful made with young adults as the target audience. The shots are straight forward with light music on the background. The theme-“Women, Girls, HIV and AIDS”

I am just a normal girl,
I help my mother,
I love watching the T.V with my family,
I love surfing the net,
I dance alone…..Sometimes,
I love to read
…and I am aware about

I am concerned
I am aware
I am safe.

Then she says it in her own voice, ” I am also an AIDS activist. Be concerned. Join the campaign “

Let’s share the issue
Feel the change.

SASO world AIDS campaign, 2004.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Non-Harrypotterian, Nonhairypotty, hairypotty, potty

A day before the latest volume was released, my friend asked me to accompany him and grab the book the next day. I am a Non-Harrypotterian and was like eeks! Old man, what are you going to do reading that spectacled lad? Don’t you have better things to do like taking me out for a movie, buying me a dress but his enthusiasm appalled me. Next day we grabbed the book and he was busy making all kinds of calls long distance, short distance, no distance (I mean calling me to stand by his side as he paid) announcing his purchase as though he was announcing to the world that he is dating Yana minus Gupta. (He is waiting for Yana to ditch Aftaab and vice-versa)

I went back thinking what will happen to the world and a good samaritan like me should do something about it. But the next day, I see my colleagues talking about it, friends and even foes know about it. They are like please don’t tell me which character dies. So sad and all that stuff. Finally I realised, I am the odd man out for being Harry Potter illiterate.
Something must be there in this lad. Am I realising 6 volumes too late? So, I am doing some disaster recovery by watching the movies and reading up the rest.

After a few weeks, let’s talk Hairy oops Harry Ponting.

Monday, July 25, 2005

The weekend

Legends of rock, peanut masala, fish finger, music, wine, dine, Shoppers’ Stop, Jute bag, Skirts, tops, Fabmall, coke, chicken tikka biryani, French fries, baby food, Formula milk Powder, orphanage, baby smell, baby cries. Lovely names- Neela, Brinda, Ishani, Aryamaan. Hesitant steps, slow smiles, then sweet little hugs, easy laughters.

Aryamman pissed on my friend. Yeah baby! I kissed him for that. Decide what to carry along next time- diapers along with baby food. Yes, I agree having a child sleep in your arms must be one of the most peaceful feelings. ATM, rain, fruit juice, The Last Song of Dusk.

Quite Sunday, The last song of dusk. Raindrops, some soul searching, re-aligned my thoughts.

Sang loudly, soulfully- Lagja Gale…,

Yahi wo Jagah hain, yahi wo fizaayein, yahi par kabhie aap humse mille the...

Friday, July 22, 2005

Sweet Child

She is the darling of the place. All of 2 years and 9 months old. She knows she is going to be adopted and is looking forward to it, to have parents and siblings to call her own.

If you ask her who her mom is, she replies intelligently according to who is around. If the aaya is there, she takes her name. If the founder is there, it’s the founder and if her foster parents are around, it’s her.

I hope to meet this gem. Please wish me luck. While chasing a dream, while contemplating my career, next jump, next hike, I may forget to enjoy the simple pleasures of life as one thing is sure, I am never going to earn enough to feel like giving to charity. Some friends had been to a children’s cancer hospital from the convent. I didn’t. I did’t want to come back thinking some them would die. I am not that strong yet. Perhaps, there will never be an Arunima Charitable Trust. There is an Arunima Education Foundation and it’s not mine (sigh!!) Perhaps, I’ll die a mediocre. I want to do it with passion. Perhaps, some of you are into it and don’t write about it. I am writing it because I want to. I am promising myself.

A year back Paddu and me had made some phone calls and enquiries. We were met with cold shoulders. Some of them said that the children won’t appreciate people coming once in a blue moon. We respected that too as our priorities were different too. We were busy dating guys. She is engaged now. ( her caller tune sings the gayatri mantra. It used to sing “tu tu hain wahi…” :-) ) I have met enough guys who’ve tried to impress me. Yes, I have found some well meaning friends too.

I wish to be amidst some beautiful minds who woudn’t try to impress but inspire me to be a better person because I believe, "if you inspire, you will impress."

I need to be there for my own happiness.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

It's been a while...

It’s been a while that I F@#$ up with my life. So, I just did that.

There comes a rare moment in time when you are given a chance to right the wrong, to change what you destroyed in unthinking rage. I was given that chance and I threw it all away.

It’s been a while…

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


”There is a seductive shimmer on the horizon of life.Within it lies the promise of love, the joy of fulfillment, and the tranquility of peace. Approach it with great care, for it is as fragile as a mirage” ~ Layla K

In the lines of ‘Sleeping with the enemy’, ‘Not without my daughter’, ‘escape from Taliban’ etc. Mirage by Soheir Khashoggi deals with the struggle and courage of a woman against the middle east aristocracy. It is lively, provocative at times and offers a glamorous, exotic setting with a fast moving plot.

I quote a few lines which gave me goose bumps:

“Slipping her hand into his, she held it tight. He was whispering something, and as she strained to hear she realized it was a prayer. An official read a declaration of the crime and sentence. Then, at some signal Amira missed, Laila’s eldest brother stepped forward, a fist sized stone in his hand only a few feet from his sister, he suddenly hurled the rock with all his might straight at her forehead. This image burned itself into Amira’s brain. Did he throw with such strength out of hatred, for some shame Laila had brought her family or out of love, to kill her instantly and spare her what was to follow?”

Sunday, July 10, 2005


Gentlewomen and gentlemen, please welcome the bride-to-be, J D'Souza

I have plans to overtake her. Yes, I have plans for getting married without an engagement. My only question at the moment and a very big one at that is with whom?
Figuring that out might take me 2 yrs. So, for the next two years whenever I talk about friends' marriage, please don't ask me when I am getting married?( please note it down)

Dear J,

I am scared the year will come to an end, I am scared a new year will come and I'll lose you but I also wait eagerly for the day when you will wear your wedding gown and walk down the aisle. With love in your eyes, you will exchange your vows. I will stand and exclaim, how lucky he is!

May all good things in life be yours!!

Friday, July 01, 2005


A few days back, I heard this news about an ex colleague and it left me thinking that God, in all His greatness has got a good sense of humour. He was in the marketing team and was staying with his younger brother who was a BPO employee. He lost his brother in an accident and his father succumbed to his illness after three days. Now, my colleague has gone back to his town in Orissa as he is the only man in the family to stand by his mom and sis and to look after their family business leaving his career in Bangalore forever.

The same day, as I was going back from work I saw a couple doing puja with a Pandit in front of a car showroom for their new “Swift”. It was kind of touching to see them engrossed in prayer. Our faith remains unshaken whatever happens!!

I had retired for the day when a friend called me up at midnight enthusiastically, to announce that he has grabbed some kick-ass deals and some biggies are interested in investing on his company. The same day yet gave me another reason to rejoice, to hope and to pray but I also realized it is the human spirit that conquers all and inspite of all the trials, what is life without some extraordinary dreams!!!!

Monday, June 27, 2005

Those films

Did not take prior appointment to meet Parineeta. Heard a lot about her classic beauty and elegance and wanted to witness it with my solemn black no, brownish eyes. She had too many guests to entertain. We were shooed away at the last moment after standing by her door step heart beating fast. The moment our turn came, the monitor read, "Sold out".

Then decided to solve the riddle called
Paheli but got entangled in a maze of puzzle. I have done enough justice to it by linking to one of the best reviews. This is one of those movies which pleases the senses visually. However, I would have loved to watch an Amol Palekar starrer instead.

I can only say the alluring Rajasthan vistas, the costumes were impressive. There were a lot of yellows and reds. Felt like adding my red by throwing some tomatoes. The only saving grace of this riddle was the music. MM Kreem leaves a sinewy impression that given a chance, he can deliver the goods. “Dheere Jalna” seduces the senses with its subtle sensuality. Rajpal Yadav left the audience laughing in his cameo. The movie will be good for promoting tourism. I would like to add my tag line, Paheli- If you can’t convince, confuse.

I had to console myself by going shopping and indulging in retail therapy and by watching another movie the next day. The best way to spend hard earned money is shopping. What say girls?

After reading the reviews from TOI many people lined up for Paheli. Felt like telling it was bad to those people even to that lady with deep blouse and shining tattoo at the back, the colour of her blouse . (shining tattoo to go for a movie! ROTFLMAO)

Again missed Parineeta (Don’t suggest online booking) So went to Symphony to meet the deadly couple, Mr.and Mrs.Smith. By then, I didn’t bother about the storyline or anything anymore and just enjoyed. Bradenlina was good. Angelina pouted well. About Bradd Pitt, need I say more?

A melancholic unsung melody reverberates on my mind after watching these two flicks.
“ Mein loot gayi, mein barbaad hogayi”

Monday, June 20, 2005

My best friend is hooked

‘J’ got engaged yesterday, the 19th of June, 2005 with Mathew D’Souza. (She doesn’t have to change her surname after marriage. Lucky bum! ) Seeing her always in smiles makes me so happy that I could cry. When the proposal came, she was really reluctant. I told her to have an open mind and now, she has found in him the person that matches her in mind and in spirit. That leaves me wondering how it would be to go on with life without her.

“Let’s go for the night show (on a Thursday). Let’s go shopping and buy nothing. How do I look? (say something nice). I want to donate blood, come along (at 7pm cos I heard an announcement on the radio). Listen to my story for the 5th time. I am heart broken, why don’t you cook? Eat slowly, I don’t want people staring at me as I demolish this chicken on my plate. It’s raining. Let’s have Ice-cream and walk. Let’s not talk men today. He told me…”

Will all this end to ‘internet zindabaad’ for those nothing-new-to-share-you-take-care mails?

Having learnt how to share every chapter of my life the past few years even without missing any commas, I don’t know how to unlearn them. We don’t have two membership cards for any retail outlet or beauty products.

I hold sweet memories of one starry evening when we had chatted sitting on the steps of St. Patrick’s Church.
We rushed out of our respective jails a little after 5 pm and decided to meet with the enthusiasm of two children wishing to show off new dresses. (It’s always been like this though). We spoke about career growth, job switches (mine), the importance of being financially independent, marriage and about the guys that were presently absent or absently present in our lives (then). It was nice to build castles in the air, to decide to settle in the same city and someday, to take our kids for picnics sans husbands and to talk about ex-boyfriends who couldn’t upgrade themselves to husbands. We almost thought everything would be possible and fate AND men could be chosen anytime.

Mathew is from Mumbai but based in the States. He has no plans of coming back to India in the near future.
Life! It always rises above the floods of silver ignorance.
I am sooo happy but I am soo sad.

For the past few days, I was busy following Madam and being the hanger. She got up on the wrong side of the bed and suddenly decided to wear pink Ghagra-cholli for the engagement. If you saw two girls one like the small “i” and the other its capital counterpart,
they might just be us.

She looked like a princess and I was the bridesmaid. Yeah!!!!

And now, she is wearing diamonds, while my T-Shirt reads, “Boy Chaser…”

Thursday, June 02, 2005


Well, there are two sets of tagging business doing the rounds. I have taken the liberty to combine them. Let’s make things simpler and get it done with.
I was tagged by Mr. Mediocre and Burfi.
Saw in Shub’s blog that anyone can do the exercise.
I invite all my blog readers to do the exercise. If you don’t blog, write it down and tear it again. My taggers continue the second part. Yes, Mr Mediocre and Burfi.

First Part
Total number of films I own on dvd/video:
Some assets declaration? Quite a few. Friends gifted them.You can also gift me.
Say “NO” to piracy

The last film I bought:
I beg, borrow or steal but I don’t buy them. I am in a hostel where watching videos is a taboo. We only watch the MMS on our mobile phones. :-)
The last film I watched:
Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me:
Notting Hill
The Gods must be Crazy
Lord of the rings
When Harry met Sally
[The first 4 for Personal and emotional reasons best known to me]
Khamoshi (old one) [Ruko ruko, Dharmender!! ]
Second Part

Arunima ( Hi! This is Arunima, the Arunimic blogger. Here *Arunimic refers to an adjective. Not something like fat-assed but something very nice.)
Pehelwaan and Dada

Champakali, Murarilal, Chandramukhi

My tongue that can taste good foods
32 all-out smile
skin and hair ( Natural beauty products from GoberGlow. )
Well, God was in a hurry while creating me but I believe in the joy of imperfection.
Guys don’t always go for looks and I didn't get my job because of my looks. So, who cares!
People who feel otherwise, may keep the opinion to themselves.

Mom +Dad, (Grandpa +Grandma) maternal side, (grandpa + grandma )paternal side

Some scary movies,
some people
that I also scare some people.

Phone calls, laughter, food.
(Prayers, Love of my near and dear ones, mother’s blessing)
wah snif snif!! :-) Where is the crown?

glasses, watch (my sexy watch, ummmaah), a ring (rings! My 3 rings and a chain were stolen. Boo hoo that thief!!!)

Love, trust, companionship.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
Why only one lie? It is our birthright to lie as much as we want.
Hereafter, those whom I tag, please enlist any number of lies and truths.

here goes my list:

Katrina, wo super model. Her boyfriend, Salman, Super Star. He proposed me but I said, “no”.
I hate Mumbai. Too much of traffic. There is no place to park my Plane.
I am two timing.
I am getting married secretly.
When I was in kindergarten, I pissed in the classroom cos the teacher did not take me out along with the others.

“Tumko dekha to ek khayal aya,
usko dekha to doosra khayal aya”

easy laughter, (good conversation garnished with humour)
brains (worldly wise)
strong arms (sleeveless please lol )

Read blogs,
Be done with this

Dog Breeder (it’s really lucrative)
Home Minister (Give me all your money)
Writer (I am doing something between Technical and Creative right now)

Hill Stations

Trisha (It means thirst)
Nupimcha, Bema ( These are synonyms of ‘litle girl’. Mom calls me Nupimcha and dad calls me Bema. They don’t call me with these names everyday, that’s why these are special.)

For my kids, I’ll disclose when I multiply. You might copy it and I am planning to have 3 kids.
(We’ve crossed the billion mark. Let’s get it going honey!!)

A Phd in ‘dating’ :-)
Travelled quite a bit
Happily married with kids, having known how it is to sacrifice and to love selflessly.

If I am dying tonight, I want to wash my socks before that.

Please do the honours

I am sorry if it will be a pain in the wrong place. You can make it short and crisp if you want. I never wrote long answers as a student so, I didn't want to miss the chance this time:-)

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Home Alone

Did a 'Kantaben' cleaning and scrubbing then played 'Tom and Jerry' with the rain, rushing to collect clothes before it came down and now, I am playing 'Home Alone'. 'J' has appointed me to be the watchman at her place for two days.
Irritation made me bless an autodriver for not budging even one inch from the circle I asked him to take me. How do I say," Take me to the A cross, B street, House no. C?" I was scared that I won't be able to collect the clothes on time and asked him to leave me a little closer. I said, "Khush Raho" and walked away.
Way to the kitchen, the potato looked malnourished, onion was unconscious, tomato was dehydrated, carrot had wrinkled and the other vegetables looked like they were having a 'hunger strike'. My spirit too betrayed and started sipping out of me.
Had spoonfuls of silence. Started missing the noise of the hostel which I so much hate at times thinking they'd disturb my reading or writing. Even if you don't budge from the room, the knowledge that there are people around comforts you. It was one of the long and lonely nights that I had yesterday.
Had some kind of funny feelings. Wished I could come back to a place called home, to someone. Wished I could wait for someone. Heck! I wouldn't even mind cooking.
Listened to Norah Jones. Everybody knows this song but the weather, the timing, the mood was just right. Made me think, "Now, whose boyfriend do I steal?" :-)
"Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song
Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies
I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come
Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me"
I have been tagged. I will definitely be game but the before that let me share the line I live by right now. Pallavi, Manuscrypts, Stone, Manish, Alka be prepared. You can even start if you haven't tagged.
"They say procrastination is the root of all sorrow; I don't know what that big word means, I'll look it up tomorrow"

Friday, May 20, 2005

Silently eloquent for one year

Bang bang! completed one year of blogging. Thanks to all of you.

It was nice to see my mail box with a huge response to a controversial post. Thanks for sharing your secrets and baring your souls and real names to me. Glad I was worth it. I have felt self righteous, martyred at times but also learnt that opinions could defer and also accept some people as they are, knowing that the world would be uninteresting without them.

It has been an immense pleasure to share some pages of my life though I confess it is not necesarrily my life chronicled. Sometimes, I am so happy and satisfied with life that I am scared I might just die. Sometimes, I feel pain till I can define pain no more. Words seem less and fail to express these upheavels. Beyond this webpage, I lead and live a life which is much more richer like say being umemployed:-) Feel like bugging you about how succesfully unsuccessful I am but I'll spare you.

ok, Another job awaits me and God save me and my career! For now, I have taken a break. Watched "Robots", "Kya Kool Hain Hum" and "DDLJ". They are worth a 'dekho'.

Been pampering myself, reading, sleeping, holidaying and dreaming. Yes, of star studded nights, walking in the beach or playing with kids and hope that they rub their innocence to me, of a heart- warming romance.

Have gained some weight too. 26" waist had started hanging on my hips. Made me look like walking with shit-in-the-pants that too formal:-) The last time, my folks were here mom said she could hang an umbrella on my collar bones, my so called beauty bones. She can be a bully at times and now, I know it runs in the family.

Inspite of all these relaxation and fun, I feel sudden bouts of despair. Perhaps, a certain longing for someone somewhere.

A galaxy of stars above me shines, I hope one of them is shining just for me.

Friday, May 06, 2005

some not so good days and other days

As I was crossing the road alone, a few months back, one guy just called me “eh chinky!” and bursted out laughing. He was with 3 of his friends. Ok, so, he was teasing me. Categorising me and my race or the people from North-East India as lesser beings I guess. Anyway, I’ll be back with more experiences and how I handle this issue some other time. It will be a long post definitely.

So, I turned back and saw the way this guy was giggling away accompanied by his 3 other friends. It did oodles to his ego, teasing a girl. I also got very irritated seeing him, his looks and thought definitely the minds of such people must be as ugly as SIN. I also called him back loud and clear, ”VEERAPAN” and walked away. He acted he didn’t hear but his face told otherwise. His friends didn’t stop laughing.

Then there is this guy who told me that the problem is I am too perfect for him. I read it somewhere, if a guy says, ‘I don’t deserve you’, believe him. So, perhaps he doesn’t deserve me.

Coming back to lighter things, a few days back everybody laughed at Ankita’s song. She is the only person in the family who can make my dad dance on her fingers. She pulled him in front of the TV and asked him to dance and dad just did that it seems. Making my dad do such a thing is like touching the face of a hungry lion. So, mom is all praises for her. Something she couldn’t do in more than 30 years of marriage, this kid did it in just 2 years.

Now, it seems from the crèche, where she has learnt that cute mosquito song, she has also picked up a lot of bad words and everybody is having a tough time correcting her :-)

Thursday, April 28, 2005


If I was in love with you and if you were in love with me
How much I would have loved you!
How much you would have loved me!

I would as if I want nothing in return
I would as if I want you all for myself
I wouldn’t need a reason
I would need all of them answered in all seriousness
‘Why do you love me?’
‘Am I pretty?’
‘Will you find someone else if I died?’
and perhaps
be happy that someone would love you after I am gone
or perhaps
even get jealous that you might also love her.

Manauvering my way through a heavy traffic,
I saw a girl seated in an auto.
She was lost in her own world
I tried to study her face and it looked like she was having a happy thought
about someone, somewhere
That was when you came to mind
As you sometimes do
At the expected moments and those unexpected ones too
When I am sad, when I am happy,
When I want to share a joke or an accomplishment.

The last time we met, you spoke about some girl
I fumed
as if
I care for you
you smiled that naughty smile
as if
you care for me
The last time we met, was it the last time?

If I was in love with you and if you were in love with me
How much I would have loved you!
How much you would have loved me!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

My Brother 'R' not Nikhil, Ankita and Mom's gyan.

How do you react when a two year old who has just started talking with a cute and small voice sing, “kaang-se-thamoida-chik-e” meaning,”this mosquito is biting at my heart” ? Nearly fell off my bed laughing. That’s my niece, Ankita over the phone. She goes to a creche and is believed to have picked up the song from there. What song and what lyrics! Hoho haaa…ha ha ...

Need to plan a holiday soon to meet this bundle of joy.

Marriage has changed my brother for the better. Infact, it has done wonders. My long-haired brother was a nightmare to all the kids in the neighbourhood (including me), strict and short tempered and it was such a lovely sight to see him play with Ankita, change her diapers not to forget his neatly trimmed hair, the last time I went home.

He used to keep changing girfriends, dumping or getting dumped often the later but after meeting my sis-in-law, he had to leave all that in the past, change his ways and literally chase her down the proverbial ‘aisle’.

Mom had told him once over lunch in front of all the siblings, “Don’t flirt with someone you don’t want to go around with, don’t go around with someone whom you don’t want to marry. Life has a way of taking u-turns, you often end up with what you never planned. I will be happy if someone loves you back truly, you’ll learn to give.”

He chose his love and is loving his choice- that’s marriage for my brother.

Cheers and best wishes to some of the newly weds, Pompy, Stone, Romila, Shalini, Anita.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Shall we dance?

Hit the dance floor the moment we entered. That was ‘Salsa Night’ at Sparks on Sunday.
Danced till kingdom come from 9 to 12 taking breaks only to drink sprite.

Sprite is the secret of our energy, shiny hair, beautiful eyes, skin, pearly teeth and perhaps, it might get us husbands too :-) any advertising funda left?

Wasted half-an hour of my make-up session coaxing my partner in crime, Miss ‘J’ to cheer up and enjoy the party as it might be the last time we would be dancing together. (I use this line to blackmail her) Somebody in the US of Asses wanted to know what she would be wearing and who she would be dancing with.

Not happy if he is possessive, sad if he is not!

Her big brother dropped us and even asked us to call him up if it is late so that he could pick us up. What a sweet brother!

Dearies, the trust has been cultivated over the years after reporting every systole and diastole that she takes. From the past three and something years, I have been doing my part in winning the trust by asking her to go for late night movies and stuffs.

My skirt, hair was smelling of cigarette as I came out. Can’t imagine how much I must have inhaled that damn thing they were burning off.

your smoking is injurious to my health!

Wore a plain white salwar, went to the temple. The week has been going fine so far.

“Something in the wind has learned my name
And it's tellin' me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
There's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me…”

From the song “On top of the world”

Thursday, April 07, 2005

To throw eggs

For all the nice things I write, you spill coffee on my blog. You fry eggs and even herd Dinosaurs.

Your 'interesting' comments often start a long debate with other readers. Surely, you must be in love with me to always do such damages.

I don't know very clearly what you do but it must be something nice as I see that you are the only Indian among all the speakers and the others don't look like fools.

There are so many things in life that catches the eye but very few, that catches the heart. I am glad you have followed those few by proving that it is not the piles of certificate but the quest for knowledge and excellence that can drive someone to succeed in life. You are self taught and that's the best part.

May you conquer heights!

I wish I could sit in that conference and throw eggs at you.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

I am a virgin

yohoooo! ask me how to grab attention

Written on a T-shirt
In the front: "I am a virgin"
At the back: "this is an old T-shirt":-)

Two colleagues in a blood donation camp. Doctor comes and talks to the first colleague leaving the second for sometime and visibly pissed.

second to the first:"who the fuck was he?"
first: "My father"

Me and 'J'in a mall:
Me to her: "Don't miss those bras"

"Million dollar baby" was good. Watched friday night dragging 'J' and then her brother along. We need somebody to guard us na?

The movie had already started and I missed out on some nice dialogues. Asked one friend to explain those parts I didn't understand. He adviced me to go and watch Hindi movies instead
so, if time and mood permits, I'll catch up with their brother Nikhil.

Now, this is getting long. I'd love to share my good taste for bad movies someday. Reviews of "Black", "Boogeyman" and "lost in translation" coming up or going down meaning it might happen or never happen.

Take Care.

Friday, March 25, 2005

meeting him again

As he narrated the incident over the phone, his voice choked and not much audible between tears, I felt I should be with him. He turned me down and said he wanted to be alone for some days. On my insistence, he agreed to meet me yesterday. I did not lose my cool; comforted him called up ‘J’ and broke down. It hurt to know what he must have gone through.

They had gone for a picnic, 13 of them. On the way, they stopped for breakfast and started taking pictures. He had just crossed the road to give lime to a friend who was not feeling well. Suddenly from nowhere, an upturned lorry skidded towards them. He saw and reacted on time pulling the girl along with him but as he turned back, found one of his friend death on the spot and another girlfriend under it’s weight. One of her limbs got cut and separated just above the ankle and an eye-ball was smashed. He and another friend held her hand willing her to hold on to life for just a little longer as she lost consciousness. They sat helpless by her side as they rushed from one less-equipped hospital to another and were left helpless even when she died of brain damage.

Perhaps, he was right in shutting me off. As much as I would, he might need courage to meet me again amidst the trauma and the tragedy. There were times, I stared at his bike for minutes just to hide if I saw him come and hence, apprehension enveloped me as I went to meet my much remembered boyfriend with a prefix 'ex' yesterday.

Would I realize how much I have matured over the past year, having gone ahead and allowed myself to fall in and out of love, imagine getting married to someone else and even being happy or be surprised that I could still feel and care for him deeply?

Everything was the same and I was not surprised to feel both. He wore a blue checked shirt to which I had often commented, ”Guys know only one color-blue” and I was in a light green and off-white salwar suit which he had seen meaning it was atleast two years old. Time changes people or people change with time.

I sat next to him and listened with pain about the pictures they had taken minutes before the accident with the two deceased smiling. He looked very handsome, tired, fragile and almost lovable but I could not ease the ostensibly lacking comfort level between us. Even if I wanted to, the tenderness and the innocence that once existed hung in the air, out of place. I tapped his knee and brushed his hair slightly as I bade goodbye.

He smsed as I reached my bus, ”You are still the caring person I always knew. Take care.”

Glad I still care for him. Glad I moved on. Glad I know the importance of today to appreciate what I have and to hold on to it. Glad I realize I should smell my rose before it wilts. Damned if I win, Damned if I lose. People fail, love doesn’t!!!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

woman !!

one old love she can imagine going back to...
and one who reminds her how far she has come.
enough money within her control
to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
a youth she's content to leave behind...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
one friend who always make her laugh ...
and one who lets her cry...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.
a feeling of control over her destiny...
how to fall in love without losing herself...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
....when to try harder ...
and when to walk away...
.....that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...
....that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but its over...
.....what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it...
.....whom she can trust, whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
....where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
... what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year... "

Saturday, March 05, 2005

not mine

I wish these lines were mine but heck! I whacked it from somewhere. I came across them some 7 or 8 months back as I was doing research on something else. Then, it was not my subject of interest so, I didn't save or did anything about it. Yes, but it was not from a blog. I don't remember the author to give the credits or even the beginning but the few lines that I am trying to re-produce here were profound in simplicity and sweetness.

The language will be changed as it is what has been retained by my unrealiable brain cells over the months.

"...then we began to kiss
It was not one of those sloppy kisses
where you don't know how your mouths felt
or one of those hurried ones
as he leaves for work
but it was one of those kisses
where you know exactly
why you started kissing him in the first place
and suddenly
I was not scared of growing old anymore"

Happy Birthday 'J' !!! Let's shop and party sweety

Thursday, February 24, 2005

blah blah blah

‘J’ dropped out of the dance because she has to finish her MBA exams. I dropped out because she has to finish her MBA exams. It was not easy, having to practice 3-4 hrs rigorously every weekend. Perhaps, we were not ambitious enough. We just went to learn Latino. They liked our styles and suggested we join the ‘free-style’ group and were ready to groom us for free. Other girls had to go through auditions and perhaps pay some fees.
All we wanted was to do just a few stage-shows and that’s why we couldn't even reach there. Everything comes with a price. Anyway, it's all about priorities. Her MBA is more important to her and I know I won't enjoy dancing alone.

Now, I try to post once a week and it's also becoming difficult. One thing is clear.
It's bloody easy to give up and stop trying.

We had our usual ‘Pyjama Party’ (those where I usually dance, sing or MC or goof up on stage)

This song was played and I liked the life in the beat and the lyrics.
“Raat Baaki Baat baaki
Hona hai jo ho jane do
Socho na dekho to dekho haan jaaneja mujhe pyar se

Kasti jawa dil ki toofaan se takragayi
Manzil muhobbat ki abto kareeb agayee
aa dekhle hain kya mazaa dil haar ke...”

‘Age does not matter if the matter does not age’~ Anon

Be young at heart!!!

Thursday, February 10, 2005


Enough of men wearing micro skirts. Lets talk about the suit and boot category. National Treasure is a fast paced movie that makes you sit up and watch. If you have liked the Da Vinci code, you would love this. Nicolas Cage (Benjamin Franklin Gates ) speeding against time and adversaries, solve clues and break codes to hunt the greatest treasure of all times thus unfolding many secrets, action and adventure.

Page 3: The ironies of life and the pragmatic compromise that one has to make with it!
Lovely review is given here so, I cannot add more. I belong to one of those people who atleast try to take the daily dose of the supplementary pages even when I just peep at the headlines. I liked the movie for the protagonist played by Konkana Sen. I would love to watch her Amu too but, I guess that has not been released in Bangalore.

Armed with her journalistic licence, searching for spice in the party crazy crowd, seeking people worthy of page 3, making and breaking identities, she meanders through the crowd and unearths the black and white side of Page 3. What she gains and what she loses in the bargain is what it is all about.

Somehow, there is a string that links you to her because of the dressing style or her girl-next-door look. Loved her chirpy air-hostess friend too. Some glam dolls like Tara Sharma just fade in comparison to her.

Madhur Bhandarkar has matured and stand tall this time as a film maker perhaps from the cumulative experience that has happened in his real life (Preeti Jain Case).
It’s really true, there is a thin line between art and life.

Planning to watch Black as you people recommend. I am off to get tissue papers. I know what’s coming. I hope I get the tickets else I’ll end up watching Vaada and bug with another review :-)

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

My angle

It seems some ladies claim that watching Brad Pitt’s ass in Troy was ‘paisa wasool’. However, I did not have the good fortune and missed the scene. This time we rushed for Ocean’s Twelve as I did not want to miss anybody’s ass. I mean the movie. Now, please note, I review movies at my own pace. Planning to review the latest movies, ‘Meine Pyar Kiya’ and ‘Sholay’ very soon.

Coming back to Ocean’s Twelve, if you have watched Ocean’s eleven, it’s more than enough.

Characters to watch out for:

George Clooney: His personality. What a thief!
Brad Pitt: This time not his ahem! Everything else.
Catherine Zeta Jones: Her presence makes the movie charged up. Red lip stick suits no one else better
Julia Roberts: Her charms. Pretty woman! She gets a chance to play Julia Roberts, the actress.

About the script, screenplay, direction: zzzzzzzzz
Action sequence: There was more action happening at the seats. I was busy digging pop corns from my friends from left and right.

All in all, one time watchable movie when you know you have nice company ( Read: Free ticket, free snacks)

If Ocean’s Twelve was bad Alexander was ugly. I almost dosed off in the theatre and J almost knocked me off with her elbow. Angelina Jolie played his mom’s role very well. She portrayed a woman of great courage and sensuality. Alexander’s devotion to his male friend Hephaestion was highlighted with sensitivity. ( My history books never told that Alexander could be happy and gay) His demise drove Alexander crazy.

People clapped when a squadron of war elephants in India attacked Alexander’s troop bringing an end to the Macedonian cavalry. I got wide awake to the noise and the movie ended. I remember one line from this movie delivered by Alexander. “ If you conquer fear, you will conquer death”

I conquer death today. I have the power!!!!! She-man!!!

Coming up… After sometime. National Treasure and Page 3. Stay tuned.