Monday, September 26, 2005

It is ok to cry

I accompanied my friend to meet her uncle and cousin, who has come here for a para-medical course. Her uncle told me that he is scared to go in the evening to drop her to the hostel as he feared that he would cry. He infact asked us if we could do it for him. I wanted to say that it is ok to cry but just suggested that it would be nice for the girl to be dropped by the parent. As we reached the hostel, he hastened the goodbye process and told her to go inside abruptly as her eyes started misting. I just gave her a tight hug and told her not to worry about anything. (doing the sister act)

Uncle was very upset but controlled himself and this made me think how funny men are! They can’t even express one of the most natural and lovely emotions. They need to be loved so much more and to be taught how it is to cry.

As I type this, I think about my dad too. I saw my dad close to breaking down only once. I hated it because it broke my heart and I didn’t know what to do about it. Now, I know it is all because of the way we are brought up.

I don’t remember being cuddled or hugged by him. I always had to think twice before I opened my mouth as he was the disciplinarian.

I never gave up though. Even though our words were few, I often accompanied him while going for evening walks as that was the time I bonded with him. I made it a point to always hold his hand when we cross the road. I do it even now as that is the only time I touch my dad. I don’t want him to forget how it is to hold his child and how secure I feel by that touch.

It is ok to cry. I don't think it is a weakness. It expresses anger, angst, love, disappointment, happiness that words sometimes fail to do.

I cry over a Govinda flick too. That's a little too much I know :-)

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

The adventures of two tomatoes-me and J

As we Salaam-Namaste-ed and came out, we noticed her. She was far from pretty and neither had the face nor the assets. She did have a good height though. She was taller than J so she must be 5 ‘7.5” or so but very thin. A shining thing could be seen dangling from the navel through the black see-through kurta. Whatever clothing was inside it was really less. Her hair was yellowish brown or brownish yellow and she swayed on Brigade road with her mouth pouted in some kind of a way. Everybody who passed by her, turned their heads to look.

I asked to J, ”Are you thinking what I am thinking?” She nodded. The ‘Sting Operation’ button in us went beep* beep* and we decided to follow her. Left, right, left we went, maintaining a comfortable distance behind her. J cautioned me to walk slowly lest people notice what we were up to. We acted as if we were window shopping and pointed at some mannequins randomly all the time concentrating on her steps. Then, we saw it. Oh my God! We just halted in our steps.

One man from nowhere started walking by her side, shoulder to shoulder. He looked at her through his shoulder and caught her glance. The body language between the two told it. Suddenly, she left the guy and crossed the road. We didn’t know what to do and went ahead. Our beep beep button had already become a siren by then. We looked back and saw the man still standing at the corner. Not being able to decide our next step, we took a right and then decided to turn back again. The guy was still standing there. We walked passed him and entered a music store to glance through the window. By that time, the guy too had vanished. The ‘Sting Operation’ fuse went off.

As I narrated the incident to my colleagues, one of them asked, ”two-girls in a green car?” It was not but the two girls in a green car were our first “Are you thinking what I am thinking?”

Friday, September 16, 2005

By the bus stop

She is the daughter of the cobbler, who sits by the Bus Stop near the Hostel. We became friends and I used to let her hold my hand as I waited for the bus. I couldn’t capture her dimples and the wonderful smile. Now, I don't go there anymore. Planning to frame it and gift it to her dad. He had asked me if he could see it.

Monday, September 12, 2005


Work Scenario

I am caught up between some stinky projects. Everything seems to be happening at breakneck speed. How I miss those days where I sat staring at some documents flickering on the screen! After sometime, nothing would make sense. To do away with my guilt, I would peep at the next cubicle just to see my colleague doing the same thing or be happier still if she would be staring not at the monitor but at the wall. The documents sometimes would be highlighted in all colors known to man meaning it is the nth version I would waste half a day not thinking what value add I would provide but which color should I use to highlight the changes. The messenger would be flickering silently at one corner. Then I would wait and wait for a respectable time to shut down the system, a day’s work done diligently. Now, work is happening left, right and centre. “Calm seas seldom make a skillful sailor” Nice motivating words! Given a chance, I would like to do something with the projects on the floor. Mutilate, Strangle, jump on them or feed some pigs. But I want my salary and timely hikes with all incentives possible.


I have not one but two roomies now. One is from Myanmaar. We all look the same, so why am I even saying this? Anyway, apart from belonging to different countries, we are actually very different in terms of customs, cultures and food habits.

We are using our old mugs for now. So, the theme right now is the “United Colours of Benetton” Our mugs are of different colours, shapes and sizes. Decorative stuffs like wall hanging and soft toys are taken care of by the gifts from our ex-boyfriends. We had a laugh riot fishing it out very shamelessly.


Watched a lot of movies. Among the latest, liked 'Iqbaal' and 'No Entry'.


Catch 22, Vikram Seth’s 'Two lives' in the wish list.


Thanks for the mails and the reminders. Some 5 new readers mailed me saying they have read all the posts so far. Now, shy is coming to me. One of them asked me a very funny question-“why do you want 3 kids and not 4? “ Well, I think 3 is a sexy number :-)


J is very angry with me. She is my neighbour now. To face her, I think I’ll need protection. Which is the best helmet brand?

And to end the day and the post, I bought some sexy lingerie. I wish I was superman.