Monday, December 29, 2008

A mushy mushy tag

Invited by Pallavi Baruah.
I have removed the rules and the last question. Whoever wants to do, can do it.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?
Before I got married, whenever there was a breakup, this way or that, I’d cry myself to sleep but surprisingly, I’d wake up the next day with a feeling of ‘oh! What a wonderful world. Who’s next?’ attitude.
I got married believing this won’t happen. So, the answer is, I don’t know.

2. What’s it that you see in an ideal partner?
Shall I write something in the lines of ‘my man superman’ like most women in the early stages of marriage do? Ha ha!
Well, it is someone who can take my bullshit, someone who can tell me it is bullshit at the right time, yet love me.

3. What, according to you, is the perfect date?
3-jan, every year. :-) That is the day I receive birthday gifts.

4. Would you like to have children soon enough? Or would you wait till your mid-thirties for the first child?
Are you interested in the child or my age? There is tremendous parental pressure from both sides. Husband has gone deaf and slowly, I am also becoming deaf.
I always wanted a lot of kids and wanted it as soon as possible, but the few associations with under-priviledged children have changed my thinking on this. I make hoo haa about the small contributions and time that I make for these kids while S has gone ahead quietly and sponsored the education of a boy. Though I’d love to have a child of my own, I may end up finding happiness in supporting S.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Now, the husband is the best friend.
Talking of the past, yes, I did not even spare my best friend. Boo hoo! He was the cutest boy in class and the teachers’ pet too. It took a decade for our friendship to mature. He started in an MNC while I started in a small firm with a paltry sum for a salary. He encouraged and supported me throughout to dream big. I was pampered with a lot of gifts and free lunch (free lunch really matters when you are in a hostel) Then we fell for each other. I could not stand by him as I was not sure about what I wanted then. I lost a friend, his trust, the gifts and also the free food. :-)But he made me realise that I deserve to be happy and not take shit from others anymore.
Looking back, I cherish those ‘our moments’ that we had. It was nice to see him in a new light, all caring and eager to make his girl happy. Now, he has found a wonderful woman and I am very happy for him.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Both can be really pleasant and at the same time a real pain. Imagine loving someone who doesn’t love you back or having someone whom you don’t love, professing love to you. Some guys almost threatened me for not loving them back.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
6 months is a good enough time to judge if he is worth it.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
Wish they’d break up and he’d fall fall for me, while plotting schemes to make him fall for me along with my own back-up strategy if things don’t happen the way I hope.

9. What do you think are the foundation stones of a good relationship?
You should be comfortable in your own skin, laugh a lot together. The commitment follows automatically.

10. What according to you is the most beautiful thing about relationships or marriage?
Being together, sharing and caring. The feeling of ‘forever’ that marriage gives is something worth cherishing.

11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
I‘d be raising a child, adopted, stolen or by having gone through the process of balooning myself. I’d still be working and not changed many companies. I’d still be troubling the hubby on small things and acting oversmart on smaller things. Would still love to blog. Gosh, I’d be almost 40!

12. What’s your fear?
Losing my brains, which I feel is happening slowly.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Oh, I have never met her though I have been following her for more than 4 years now and she seems to be a very positive, fun and practical person.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
What about married , rich, successful and extremely happy?

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
God, it was really tough. I picked the one whom I loved more just to realise he didn’t love me enough and then it went in circles until I was left with neither. :-)

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
As long as it doesn’t compromise my principles, identity and independence. So, it is a ‘yes’ and a ‘no’ as well.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
Forgive perhaps, forget perhaps not. I am not ready to make it nice always.

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
With all the hearbreaks and ups and downs, I love being in a relationship. I love belonging to someone, I love to care for someone, I love being loved.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

nothing about the mother-in-law

It was possible to stay away from the net for 15 days. I never even once wanted to sit anywhere close to the computer. Coming back, I wondered if I’d remember the system password but my fingers typed it out automatically. So, sometimes the brains are at the finger tips. When you make wrong decisions, trust your brains not to be where it is supposed to be but elsewhere, maybe the toes.

Dad has also come along to stay with us for a while. Mom is retiring soon and she didn’t want to take any extra leave during her last working days. S is all prim and proper with my dad, saying the right things at the right time.

Post retirement, dad has had very few opportunities to wear formal clothes. Most social occasions demand the traditional kurta –pajama or dhoti leaving no room for pant-shirt and suits. I heard he goes to collect his pension and then some transactions in the post office or the bank every month dressed very formally with the car, all sparkling. He came with me wearing a nice suit and a tie. I seldom saw him wearing a tie while he was in service. It was kind of cute.

He was offered the role of a technical consultant in his own department right after retirement, but he shied away as terorrists of the state would not allow him to work in peace. He is too old to adjust to a new environment outside the state and work. There is no concept of community service in my state, in India for that matter, and he says he wants to relax now and not do anything (which worries me).

I can empathise and understand him completely but I am quite helpless. For someone who has worked in just one organization (though in different places) in a society and time tossed in babudom, government cars, quarters, peons at your disposal, tea and snacks at the ring of a calling bell and then suddenly for all this to end.

He is a doting grandpa to the kids but not someone who can stand them for long. I am worried he will become the evergreen big brother of the locality who provides free booze.

I reported back to work from yesterday and dad prepared breakfast for me. When I got up, the milk was boiled and breakfast laid out. He said he has finished his morning walk and even dropped me to the pick-up point. As always, I told him I have to run and he came running to the pick-up point along with me.

While waiting for the cab, he noticed a heat boil on my face and said, it is because I am not washing my face properly. He suggested I apply ‘No Marks’ cream and told me that he also uses it sometimes as one of his friends had advised. At 65+, my dad still believes he can have clear skin. Hope springs eternal!