Monday, May 29, 2006

what I did when employment ditched me

When I took a break from employment, I got the opportunity to read some of the books I have been wishing to read for quite sometime. A few of them I wish I had read years back. Done with most of them.

Damn you Mills and Boons!! Because of you I missed out on reading many good books and you left me with a screwed up idea of Mr. Right.

Here is the list:

Catcher in the rye- J.D Salinger (yeah Handa , I have finally done it. I’ll die with the knowledge of who Holden is. I think I’ll reach heaven.)
The kite runner - Khaled Hosseini
Siddhartha- Hermann Hesse
The bird song-Sebastian Faulks
The unbearable lightness of being- Milan Kundera
The best of Roald Dahl (considered to be Roald Dahl at his sinister best. It is a collection of short stories.)

Also read some books, which were banned. I’ll write about them some other time.
Had the time of my life being lazy, reading, watching movies, bowling. I also went to the ISKCON temple. Unemployment is directly proportional to devotion. Then, it was party time with friends.

“Strawberries cherries and an angel´s kiss in spring My summer wine is really made from all these things I walked in town on silver spurs that jingled to A song that I had only sang to just a few She saw my silver spurs and said lets pass some time And I will give to you summer wine Ohh-oh-oh summer wine”

Got a brand new job, brand new salary package, brand new dress (es), brand new Airtel connection (goodbye 9886100834). Somebody, give me a brand new heart.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Kid Rock:
Livin my life in a slow hell
Different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sunshine
In three damn days
Been fuelin'up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her

Sheryl Crow:
I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone knows but they won't tell
But their half-hearted smiles tell me somethin' just ain't right
I've been waitin' on you for a long time
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights
I put your picture away
I wonder where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

I saw you yesterday with an old friend (Sheryl Crow)
It was the same old same how've you been? (Kid Rock)
Since you've been gone my worlds been dark and grey (Together)
You reminded me of brighter days (Kid Rock)
I hoped you were comin' home to stay (Sheryl Crow)
I was headed to church (Sheryl Crow)
I was off to drink you away
(Kid Rock)

I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this way
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I just called to say I love you, come back home.

I have even taken the pain of coloring the lyrics, don't say you didn't like the song.

Monday, May 15, 2006

I want the job because Shakira's hips don't lie

Is that a salary package or a lottery jackpot? Yo!! Way to go for some IITians. The salary packages as quoted by the media have made me forget what little I know of multiplication.

Now, the fact that I did not attempt the IIT’s entrance test in my time is for a very noble cause. I did not want my parents and relatives to die of surprise. Very noble indeed! nai?

Now, that doesn’t mean I respect all IITians. I know someone who doesn’t have any net etiquette and who even after a PhD or GhD or some D acquired so much of sense called the nonsense that he even tried to ‘mitti me millao’ my name.

Anyway, that is history and I am still unfazed.

What I am trying to say is that I have perfected the art of attending interviews. It is all about sharing experiences you see. With a track record of changing the job every 3 to 6 months, you can guess how good I am at this art. Some of them didn’t know that I already know what they are going to ask, ”Why are you looking for a change?” I wanted to say the question has leaked but kept it to myself.

Obviously, you can’t say, ”I was told to go” so you have to spice it up and say as if you were the most priced employee of the organization and salary is not at all your main concern and that you are keen to contribute to this organization until retirement, which may be another six months according to you.

I have finally joined another organization where the lunch is free. I am planning to highlight this in my resume as my objective too. “To work for a progressive organization where lunch is free”

I was asked why I left Tenenbaum? Tenenbaum bombed my sanity, there was nothing to see in C, my pointers were not pointing. Fourier’s series left me frosted, Physics psyched me up and the University passed me because they were scared my registration number would become immortal if they don’t. I opted for Human Resource for further studies because I love human relations, which is proved by my boyfriend number 44.

I deserve the job because I am very good at the universal rule of Cut, Copy, Paste and I have a holistic approach to typing that is ‘seek and thou shall find’. I can type one word per minute even if the job doesn’t require any typing speed. I am just highlighting this as ‘awards and achievements’. Since I am good at all this, I can teach and train others or even write pages and pages on how to cut, copy and paste for their processes and applications to run. I pledge by Shakira and as you know, her hips don’t lie.

I am busy with the induction and training that my blog has been ignored. Readers, kindly leave your URLs so that I can follow you up. I belong to the minority in the blogging community and I do not support any RSS. I want my reservation of at least 200 readers per day. So what even if my content is of poor quality! Keep visiting.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The words of a child

The 5-year-old son of my neighbour came and told me that his dad slapped his mom because she applied nail polish and that she had cried. She is working for a travel agency.

Ironically, my roommate purchased the nail polish for her, as she happens to be a beauty advisor for some products. She overheard it from the kitchen and was feeling terrible. The lady is of our age. They married some 7 yrs back and have earned this 5 yr old certificate. I hope the innocent child doesn’t grow up to be like his dad, not being respectful to his mom and later to his wife.

There are certain unspoken rules between a couple and they honour the likes and dislikes of each other, all in love and goodwill but slapping your wife because she applied nail polish?

The man in question is just 28 or 29, supposed to be working in an MNC, well educated and … an asshole (my opinion). I thought guys of our generation were no more like him.

I remember a line from Arundhati’s ‘God of small things’. She had written something about a group of men in Kerala, who perform live on stage enacting the parts from the epics. The author had written something like this: “All of them will go and beat their wives by evening, even the flat chested man, who had acted as Sita.”

Then, there is this shopkeeper just opposite to our house. The old man is running the shop with his wife and daughter. His daughter is a little younger than us. He touched my hand once or twice as he took cash. I thought it was not deliberate but yesterday, my roommate told me, he has been doing it to her every time she paid. Now, I feel like strangling him. We have decided to embarrass him in front of his wife and daughter if he does it again. But then, he is a shameless idiot. I have seen him fight with many people in the area, screaming like a donkey at the top of his voice.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Lying on the settee

Lying on the settee, I thought of visiting Goa or someplace else. Roomie rejected the idea saying it is too hot, while lying down on another sofa or the divan so to say.

Lying on the settee, I began to miss J knowing she would have come if I said even if it was 50 degrees. It is a different thing that she would have complained the entire journey until we come back and make my life miserable but the point is, she would have come.

Lying on the settee, we began to talk about all the friends who got married some of whom are expecting and the dates we need to remember, their birthdays, anniversaries and now kids’ birthdays.

Lying on the settee, we discussed how nice it would be to eat raw mango with salt and red pepper powder.

Lying on the settee, we recollected a long drive with her fiancĂ© and some friends and how we had admired the apartments in and around the city and the kaleidoscope of builders’ names displayed on them and discussed the market rates.

Lying on the settee, we discussed the second part of the instinct of the basic kinds and how S Stone portrayed the character perfectly and exchanged opinions on the absence of any MTv grind or any such thing and the desire to have the uncensored copies of many such movies not to feed voyeurism but to get into the skin of the characters.

Lying on the settee, we discussed a PYT who happened to be a guest for a few days with a tattoo and navel pierced and how we have earned the label ‘ex PYT’ on seeing such fresh bloods. We were saddened by the realization that perhaps we were never a PYT but an ’almost PYT’.

Lying on the settee, we spoke about walking on untamed grass in a valley with mulberry trees around, holding the hands of a special someone and let our respective thoughts wander awhile.

Lying on the settee, under the fan on a Bangalore afternoon, we played resigned-resigned, unemployed- unemployed.