Saturday, July 31, 2004

2 minutes

After movies on aforestation, deforestation, urbanisation, drought, coconuts, this happened. I was supposed to script a 2 minutes film for a diagnostic centre and I had no idea. Went to the rest room many times to see if some Eurekas happened. Nothing helped.
I started ‘you are Vital’, then something like ‘we are Vital’, naturally ‘they are vital’ followed.
I had researched and developed all the content for their website and brochure and finally I sat blank.
3 minutes before the deadline got the concept, which was approved. Sold it by saying that it is just for 2 minutes and as we show the rushes of the infrastructure we can show these lines on the screen.
" A boon to the diagnostic world"
" Comforting ambience, far removed from the conventional sight and smells"
" State-of-the-art technology"
" Accurate results in the shortest time"
" Expertise and professionalism under one roof"
" People-centric, cost effective"
Finally, "quality of service is our continuous commitment and concern"
Then on a blank screen the logo and their punch line.

Friday, July 30, 2004

katra, katra

‘Katra katra milti hain
Katra katra jeene do
Zindagi hain behene do
Pyasi hung mein pyasi rehne do’

‘Tumhain pyar karte karte
Teri neend tak udhadu
Awung jo apni zeed pe
Tumhein kya se kya banadung’

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

until next month

Three hours before the programme, Bitha smsed me,’ I haven’t yet got a black top. I am topless’. I replied, ‘wow! You deserve a Kodak moment.’ This was the state of affairs yesterday.

Like every other month we had our birthday celebration for the July born girls. I had committed to the warden and choreographed a dance number. Bitha is vacating next month and she wanted to dance for the last time. Agreed, we wouldn’t get such a platform anywhere else. Dances on stage have gone with college life and we are no professionals to do it elsewhere.

Somehow we enjoyed the rush to finish dinner, put on the make-up, arrange the costumes and the last minute rehersal singing by ourselves music and all.
I picked up J’s black top on the way back from office for Bitha. Stiched silver papers on the trousers, red satin and silver in our hands in place of bangles and yes, God bless whoever’s boyfriend it was who had given those flowers. I guess it was Smitha’s.
A bunch of Jarberas was lying. The pink ones went to the hair and the yellow ones were pinned up neatly to a black satin ribbon to become chokers. So, if you love your gal, say it with flowers if not for her, for her friends’ atleast:-)

Finally we tied bright chiffon dupattas on the hips and checked if anything could be seen navel, stomach, flat or otherwise. If some skin were seen the nun would revolt.
Smitha, an MBA student performed Bharatnatyam and after some songs it was our turn. The commotion of the last three hours got over in just 5 minutes. But the day couldn’t just get over without me committing some blunder so; there I was again on the request of some friends who had arranged for the event on stage with another costume. This time it was a ponytail, track pants, t-shirt, sport shoes and pom-poms.

I started with free jive. It went good then came the second verse of the song and then the third. I started thinking, ’Oh sucks! Why did I select this song?’ then I decided, ’lemme turn from the left and then from the right. Now again from the left. Oh God! This is the third time I am simply turning left and right. Oh yes, I have two hands too and the pom-poms. Let me do something with them. Aren’t they supposed to co-ordinate with the legs? Ok, let me shake my bum a bit and kick yes, left foot right hand, right foot left hand. 567… here I go.’ Suddenly I started to laugh followed by the audience. I didn’t stop dancing; I continued the confusion for another 20 seconds and came out of the stage leaving the audience in peels of laughter.

MC announced,’That was sponteneous’. A loud applause followed (for my shamelessness.)
Reema, now a lecturer in St. Joseph’s College of Commerce took over and shared her experiences with the students who had asked her out for coffee.

For now I agree there is a right time for everything. Dances should end with college. (Until next month : D)

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

another day in paradise

I was standing in front of kids’ kemp in M.G road the other day when this autodriver approached me. He was above 60 years of age, old and freckled. Few of his teeth had gone missing and I could see the air whizzing out from his mouth as they struggled to align and form words. He said, ‘free service Madam’. I did not believe my ears and just looked at him. He continued to explain himself and asked me where I wanted to go and that he would drop me without charging anything for it. He also said that he is doing it for 4 hrs that day. I was surprised, shocked and touched at the same time. I turned him down saying my friend is coming to pick me up and thanked him profusely but started thinking why did he decide to do it. Yes, he was a Muslim too. I mean he wore the cap, which is worn during namaz. Was it due to some religious obligation?
I turned back to write down his number but he was already sandwiched between other vehicles and went out of my sight. Many auto drivers before have cheated me and I often judge them wrong but this elderly man taught me a lesson. The world is still a nice place to live in. I just have to do my bit. I feel the presence of God amidst us and I am not all alone. Another day in paradise!

Happy birthday Judy oops Dr. Judy. My chaddi dost. May all good things be yours! You are one more year smarter and sexier. I love you. ummmmmaah!

Friday, July 23, 2004

For once

For once, let me sit and drink your intelligent features.
For once, let me entice you with my charms.
For once, let us hold hands just naturally.
For once, take me in your arms as if I belong there.

For once, let my senile heart forget to rage.
For once, let me expose my weakness.
For once, let us laugh like nuts.
For once, kiss me with all your being.

For once, let me know how it is to give.
For once, let me bloom like a wild exotic flower.
For once, let us give love a fighting chance.
For once, let me count on you.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004


I am damn busy and for once I am enjoying every bit of it. Even the late hours. Finished one website. It looks shoddy but the client liked it. Finished 'Smell' after much struggle. Sometimes the book cradled my face and sometimes I had it in my arms and slept. Radhika Jha has made a very stunning debut. The power of the book is the power of smell.
First published in Viking by penguin books India, 1999.
I quote some lines here:
‘You see after you leave, your smell keeps me company, almost as if you were still there. It comforts me but it begins to fade after a few days and I run through the house searching for a little whiff of you like an addict.’

‘Philosophy is what losers use to pretend that losing doesn’t matter’

‘Memories are seeds that sprout into huge trees overnight, blocking your view of the future.’

‘ I want to find a way to hurt him. ‘I can’t remember’, I say. ‘What do you mean you can’t remember?’ ‘You have no special smell.’you are like everyone else. I made it all up, every last bit of it’. He looks at me as if he has never seen me before. ‘You are lying, aren’t you?’ ‘No, I am not’. ‘You can’t do that it is not possible’ ‘It is. I did.’

‘He hits my face with his fist now, once, twice, three times. My head swings left and right from the force of his blows. He is going to kill me, I think drilly, wondering when my neck will snap, hoping it will happen quickly. Suddenly he stops he burries his face in mine and starts to cry…’

‘That’s when it hit me – a dark feral smell too strong to be civilised, too powerful to be hidden. A smell so shameless, it belonged to the night or those private moments of solitude that cannot be shared. I was surprised to find it here, in public’

umm, do I smell a victory as India takes on Bangladesh in the Asia Cup? such entertainers that they are, they have the ability to make the climax very interesting be it with Pak, Australia or even Bangladesh. you never know. So, I keep my fingers crossed for the Indian team.

Friday, July 16, 2004


I have mentioned ‘J’ more than anything or anybody else in this blog. She does not read my blog. First I boasted, then I bribed now, I am begging. She doesn’t have time. She works in a finance company. She is busy minting money for me to borrow. I am asking her to adopt me.

Ankita is the name of my niece. The other day, I called her very lovingly on the phone and she called me ‘papa’. I thought something was wrong with my voice and really worried myself just to realise that ‘papa’ is the only word she has learnt to speak. She is one year old and loves to be in the arms of men only. Umm! Looks like she is going to be a big flirt someday. Like aunty like niece!

More than our parents, it is often our neighbours and relatives who are concerned about our marriage. I just feel like getting married soon and surprise myself.

My childhood friend Linthoi told me she reads my blog everyday and that I haven’t left my carefree and bohemian ways till now. She told me to praise her if I mention her. So, here I am doing it. Tusi great ho! She is coming back to India but I won’t be able to meet her. I miss our mouth wrestling as we call it. Every topic was a debate between us with a lot of so whats’ and but alsos’. Rosy, Leena, Judy, Rita, Bedana stood mouth opened listening to us often laughing till it hurt. We never quarelled as such. She complimented that I blog everyday diligently and see, I couln’t post anything new. Next time I go home, I am having lunch with her parents even if she is not there.

Got my account statement. Last month I had a balance of Rs. 1. 54. The card was sure heavier than the balance. Anybody wishing to help me can contact me at the following address arunima at

‘N’, my school buddy likes me eating and not putting on weight. Come back buddy and let me hear that compliment again as I gulp down the KFC chicken. Let me help you spend your dollars in the right way. I don’t give a damn even if the chicken is genetically engineered. You have a problem, give me your share.

Met two guys from the dance class. Anytime, a guy opens his mouth, I fear that he will say that he is a softee. One is a stock trader and the other is an investment advisor. Invited me to join them for dinner the other day. Suddenly remembered that Jenny had gone out and I had to cook alone. Was reaaaaalllyyyy tempted to join them but you know I had to turn them down. Yuks! I hated the way I smiled at them while saying ‘some other time’

‘Jo’ is another guy in the dance whom I hit and frown at for not leading me properly and not dancing right. Now that we are not in the same batch, I’ll miss dancing with him.

Boss saw the Infosys logo on my Tshirt. I really dare. Namak yaha se aur Tshirt kisi aur ka

that's enough for the day.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004


The streets still wore the colour of dusk. Night and day were about to shake hands and exchange duties. She wrapped urgency on herself and trotted forward to reach home on time among the crowd moving about in large knots. Her steps faltered suddenly. She saw a bike being parked at the St. Patrick’s Parking space.

Everything was the same. The black jacket, the helmet on the left hand, even the slight tilt of the head towards the left, the lazy but sure strides walking past ‘Kanti-Sweets’. The only change she noticed was the girl beside him. They looked relaxed, comfortable, in love.
Overwhelmed, she rushed to the parking and checked the numberplate,’KA-O2 4188’ It hadn’t changed. She stood thinking to herself, ’it was just yesterday’

It was just yesterday that she had walked rightfully by his side. It was one of those petty fights, which all couples had. It happens when you give someone a place in your heart. Sometimes she said sorry and they made up. Sometimes he did and they made up. Often, it was her who said the sorry. She waited for his call to tell him that he doesn’t deserve her but he is forgiven because she loved him.

Yes. It was just yesterday. She started to count and ‘yesterday’ was 2 years ago.

Crying baby gets chocolate

I couldn’t concentrate on my steps the other day in the dance class. The reason, one of the guys of our batch switched to the advanced batch when I knew that ‘J’ and me were better than he was. I don’t know when was the last time I really fretted and frowned. I seldom get angry over anything cos I just don’t give a damn most of the time. Yes. I do cry sometimes otherwise, I am always cheerful. Some of the guys really tried to cheer me up and failed miserably. I told ‘J’ if we are not upgraded, it’s going to be the last day in the institute. Told her to remember that a crying baby gets more chocolate. (Beatings too but, should know when to stop.)

After the class, I went straight to Mr. N for a tete-a-tete and asked if we could be upgraded. Gave a piece of my mind and told that other than three guys out of 18-20 of them, none lead us. We have to spin on our own and spin them too. Then Mr.’A’ joined and ‘N’ murmured to him in Kannada that there would be very less girls in our batch. I couldn’t make out properly but I guessed it right as ‘J’ told me the same later. ‘A’ told us to attend both the classes the next day. ‘N’ reassured that the class would be interesting as he would be teaching us new steps but I was not ready to buy his story. I have spent my money and was not ready to take shit. Yes. I work when I don’t blog and it is hard earned. I should enjoy the classes too if not what’s the point? One of the guys almost broke my arms. Then ‘A’ suggested that attending both the classes would give him a chance to judge us cos he has not been teaching us. Thanked him before he could change his mind and told to ‘J’ in Kannada, ’lets get going’, one of the few lines I managed to pick up in so many years for the benefit of Mr. N’s ears.

The next day was judgement day and we had to do well. ‘J’ said she is bored and would meet her friends instead and told me to let her know about my decision. I was left to battle alone.

I went clad in a cotton sleeveless salwar with a bindi drawn on my forehead. I did that on purpose again as some gals come wearing noodle strap tops, low-waist jeans. Looks good on some but, to others it looks like the thighs are every ready to tear the jeans and pop out at the first fart. They could be the reason why the numbers of male students increase by the day. I’ll think of a concept to advertise which would make more girls join in a later post.

The classes always start and end with a free-style. So, that day, I precisedly did free-style dancing 5 times along with two ballroom dances. There were three batches; first one was the senior most. They are those people who have been learning for the past 2 years. Lovely dancers! Our dream partners are in this batch. I joined in their free-style, as it was the only time I could dance with them. Then comes our batch then, the advanced batch I am talking about.

Some of my batch mates remained to see me join the last batch too. At the time of the free-style, none of the girls joined. They are those who performed on stage the last time. They stood watching and perhaps judging me. I was on the floor with three guys, Mr. N, one pro of 5678 team (he lead the steps) and another student. With all the stamina I had, I matched them step to step jumping and kicking. Ofcourse, the steps were not the very difficult ones, which they do on stage. Then came cha-cha-cha. Eyes locked with all my partners, I danced tirelessly executing each step that was taught to prove my mettle.

After the class, Mr.'A'told me to inform ‘J’ too and asked us to be present for the advanced class. I came walking back in the rain, soaked and satisfied. Cooked chicken for dinner and slept with my face cradled by Radhika Jha’s novel, ‘Smell’ letting sleep cure my aching calves.

Monday, July 12, 2004

A few years from now

Name: Arunima K
Age: 32 years
Height: Depends on the heels
Marital Status: Never Married
Religion: Hindu but goes both to the church and temple. The beauty parlour is the temple on thursdays and the church on sundays.
convent educated, fair and slim with chubby cheeks (even after a month in the hospital.)

requirements in the prospective partner
age: no bar
religion: no bar
height: no bar
marital status: single at present/divorcee/widower daurega

Mom called up and said I should be married as dad is retiring soon. I don't know how my marriage is related to dad's retirement. She asked me if I am seeing anyone. I replied Mr. Right is in the manufacturing unit. Managed to make her laugh and changed the topic. Mama, I miss you and I am coming home but when, I know not.

Crystelle, me and Jenny met up.While me and Jenny were planning to go to Hyderabad,C has flown to Delhi twice and recruited 79 people for her company and they are already charting policies to retain the employees too. Procrasti-planning murdabad!

All three sat discussing marriage seriously. Me and J decided to marry within 6 months of each other. We finally concluded,
Mr. Right
`is younger to us
`belongs to other community, caste, religion
`is not in the city, country etc.
so, we were considering online-marriage too. Our discussion was interupted by a fight in the neighbourhood. We just peeped out from J's window to see what it was. The woman was a christian married to a muslim and the father in-law almost took law into his hands. He almost hit the woman but was stopped by his other son.
We decided to sleep,our faith in our parents being restored otherwise, a few years from now, if I don't listen to my parents the matrimonial columns and sites are going to feature me as mentioned above. But, I never led an arranged life, why an arranged marriage?

Thursday, July 08, 2004

now or never

love me now or love me never
if you love me, love me forever
love me like a man and don't become a mouse

make way for the super model, Natasha John

Ladies and gentlemen, hold your breath for I present before you, the one and only Natasha John. Please do not miss her catwalk down the ramp. Oops, she can only stand.
Just nine months old, she is the baby model of our diaper ad.

After many rounds of meetings and mind boggling sessions with our client, the shoot happened yesterday. It was supposed to be for 20 seconds but had to slash it to 10 seconds.

That guy really made us run around. Idiot! he is from IIM Ahmedabad I guess with some 20 years of experience. so what? All clients are idiots. Sometimes they act in such a funny way that even if you draw a donkey they don't understand that it is a donkey. You have to draw the donkey and also label it in block, DONKEY.

Lets see whether this bugger has money to show it in some channels atleast. He just loved calling the entire creative team for some nonsense discussions. One of the meetings was so boring that I had concentrated only on the biscuits. Anyway, coming back to Natasha. I had fallen in love with her hearing her name itself. Like the line in the movie TROY on Helen,'I heard a lot of gossips about your beauty and for once, the gossips seem to be true' She was too cute. Rosy cheeks and cute fat bums. I really loved her bum:-). She did not even cry once in the three hour or so that she was with the crew.

Why do beautiful kids whom everybody would love to play with are often so jolly and those whom people wouldn't give a second look keep on crying is also thought provoking. So, let me add, I guess I seldom cried when I was a kid (haha! i have the ability to laugh at myself)

It was nice to see boss doing the monkey act to make her laugh. She stole everyone's heart. I have a natural affinity towards kids and they have it for me but, I didn't want to try as there is a first time for everything :-)

Her mom, dad, grandpa, grandma came for the shoot and I stood there doing some pedigree analysis on how she is so beautiful. It could be a case of Atavism too as she was the preetiest of them all. Dear Grandchild of mine, if you are not going to be so beautiful please don't mind cos goodlooks is not the first criteria that I am looking out in the person who is gonna be your grand dad. Accidentally, if he happens to be handsome then, nothing like it. I don't have much time to be dating a lot of guys. God bless you!

So, my day was made. work should be like this. Some outdoor shoot once in a while when you get lethargic and watch (not even play) beautiful never-crying kids and get paid for it.

saying this, I got a forwarded message on the practical alternative to work. It goes like this...

Are you lonely?
Hate having to make decisions
Rather talk about it than do it?
then why not hold a meeting?

get to see other people
sleep in peace
offload decisions
learn to write volumes of meaningless notes
feel important
impress(or bore) other colleagues
and all in work time

The Practical Alternative To Work

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

trumpets and entrepreneurs

Some people(read men) just love to blow their own trumpet. Me and Padds were in Leela's the other day for a Microsoft event. This MC, Mr. S really bugged us. I know he was an RJ before and had a good voice. It was the second time that we worked with him. He started bossing to the guys around that we were his girlfriends. Initially, we were cool and said that it was our second date. Then, he started talking loud acting as if he is one rich bugger. I have this, I have that blah blah blah. All we know is that he has got a pot belly, he is bald and ugly too. I just asked on purpose, 'are you married?' he replied smilingly, 'no' and I added 'looks could be deceiving.' Enjoyed seeing the transformation on his face. God has been fair by not giving him looks. He thought he was one charmer.

The event was meant for people with small and medium sized business. It was nice to have a dekho on the young entrepreneurs many of them smart,young and handsome. There was positive energy all around. Remembered some of my friends, entrepreneurs I should say. Shyamkishore, Kalyanjit, Brajeshwar, Rajan. Rajan is my ex-colleague and he owns his own company now. One thing I noticed was that there were very few ladies at the CEO level. Among the few, some were partners of their husbands. Is it because we don't even bother to think differently?

I spoke about this to 'J' the other day and she added that there are five lady managers in her office out of which 1 is still married and the other four are divorcees. I don't know why?

Monday, July 05, 2004


She sat sipping her ‘Virgin Mary’ by his side. People looked at them at their ‘same difference’, he a six footer fair North Indian, she a 5 footer, dark South Indian. They made such a lovely pair like black and white in a coloured photograph, like a dot and a line.

It was one of those places they loved hanging out. Families usually came there to unwind with their kids. There was nothing to talk nothing to discuss. So she blew bubbles in his mocktail. He joined in and did the same to her’s. They raced to finish faster than the other and ended up in peels of laughter.

Suddenly a child came running towards them. He smiled into her eyes and asked, 'What would our kid's mother tongue be?’ She smiled back and replied, ’pink’. ‘I guess the father tongue also is pink’ said she. Then, he pointed out many North-Indians to her. ‘Those are Bengalis, those are Gujus’ He uttered some words in Bengali to a kid who came fetching a stray ball saying those are the few lines he learnt from his friend. She pointed out some Malayalis and Tamilians and said, ‘even I cannot sometimes point out who is who among the south-Indians too.’

They fell silent again and sat soaking up the serene and serendipity of the night, the moonlight seeping through the trees to form shadows. He reached out and held her hand. She said, ’I thought you were a Christian. Your name sounds like one. That’s why I asked you which church you go to the other day.’ ‘I cannot even hug you properly. I can hug your stomach only.’

He answered, ’But, I think, I can make love to you. Try me’. ‘No test driving please’, laughed she.

Her religion, his religion, her mother tongue, his mother tongue, her food habbits, his food habbits, …

They sat listening to their song wishing ‘tomorrow’ would be a little far away because if that moment was wrong, nothing else seemed right.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

the times

This is a mail I received 1 hour back from a friend. Somehow, I could relate it to myself. We are all the same going through the best of our times, the worst of our times, the times of our lives.

' is nice.just wondering that you are enjoying a lot if at
all that is what enjoyment is.never mind.
things seems to be cool on your side.wondering if u
replied my last mail.again never mind.
it happens this way when one is very busy.i m also not
an exception.

anyway how is life?
if u have any contacts with ... please tell her
"congratulations" from my's a very long time
that i wrote to her congratulatin her but it seems that
she hasn't checked that mail so fact i sms her
congratulating her but it was never acknowledged.wish
her luck also.please tell her not to write to me again
as i have stopped reading mails from all the people,
except my family members, including you. sorry in case i
have hurt u saying this.but it is far and much better
to be clear than to be in case u don't have
any contacts with her then u can forget it and remain

the remaining part of this mail u can read at your own
disposal but it is not compulsory.u can directly go to
the last paragraph.

u might be thinking that i m a bit temperd today as u
can make out from the tone of my writing.
is it because i do not have anybody to write to?
gaps and distances and the way of learning and
perceiving things have made us different in the way of
looking at things and making conclusions from
a result of which i know tht u will never appreciate
wht i am trying to say.from time to time a certain
disbelief in kinds of human relations and the way
people try to show off has raised troubling questions
to myself and to some of which i can only be normal by
taking refuge in my own way consoling saying blah blah
blah.i shud not thank you neither shud i say sorry if
u feel tht i have wasted your time writing such a long
mail.i told u beforehand tht u r reading it at your
own disposal.

thought tht writing to sbody will ease me a bit as is
commonly said but in this case i think it is not true.
the pain is still there.the pain won't
go so easily.the disbelief however is still there.

all the best.
make great strides

(u need not take the trouble of replying to me.i
express my thankfulness to u for reading the first

Friday, July 02, 2004

Capital F

I am a flirt, with a capital 'F'.
Do not say you love me

I might just believe you.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Along came Polly (and the noise )

Distributed by: Universal Pictures
Directed/written by: John Hamburg
The week-end before last, I had watched this movie,'Along came Polly'. After watching it, I realised love can happen to anyone, anywhere amidst a lot of noise too. The story revolves around a shit and a fart. Ok, the proper words would be defacation, flatulation, regurgitation, etc etc. Watch it to believe it. Somebody or the other seemed to be doing that. Nah! I am not sponsoring and please don't borrow money from me. Being from the makers of 'meet the parents', I naturally expected something better but, it was a let down. It just managed to make me smile and thirst for a next scene which would be better than what was happening.
Jennifer Aniston was kind of cute as Polly Prince. I liked a dialogue which she delivered in the lines of 'I have had good relationships and bad ones. I have enjoyed the good ones and cried over the bad ones. I have lived them all and it's my life. You don't have to mess up with it.'

Another dialogue by Ben Stiller as Reuben Feffer, 'In the 48 times that we dated, I threw up 19 times but, I still wanted to be with you'. She loved spicey food specially Indian and he had irritable bowel syndrome.

By his dad, 'It's better to live in the present than in the past or the future'. I think he had just two dialogues in the whole movie and very vital ones.

On a funnier note, Ben Stiller pledges everlasting devotion to God, if He could stop a toilet from overflowing.

I got entertained in a different way too. The couple sitting next to me were in 'cold war' mode. The guy went on talking and using expletives and the girl was silent all along. She was revolting in silence. I could see that it irked him and they left in a one-way mode, the guy talking and the girl not responding.