Friday, June 25, 2004

Ping Pong

Well, it's Friday again. I am trying to pep-up myself. Wrote a sad post. Felt sad reading it. So, I am not posting it atleast at this time of the earth's cycle.

Well, to start with, I was just pondering that behind every Sita dwells a Rita. In short, there lies a bitch behind every woman. It depends on person to person and it is time, situation and company bound. Sometimes it is hidden behind the facade of polished mannerisms but it's there.
Some things cannot be changed like how women are good at keeping secrets. We just keep it together. I am saying this because I am in a mood to do exactly what I have been discussing. Yes, all bloggers do not always speak the truth. Otherwise, all we have to do is ask our M.Ps to blog in parliament. This I am saying to save my face after I finish the post.
So, here I go... One of the guys dropped 'J' on the dance floor the other day while dancing 'Lambada' to everybody's laughter, mine included. Poor thing! She was winching in pain later.
At her place I kneeled before her and said this prayer," Our father, who art in heaven. Crush his noble balls in thy holy hands! Amen." There she laughed, again in pain. Added her point, 'if he has one'. Very true, if he has one.
I cannot help sympathising with the guy too. His face sure looked raped embarking himself on the doors of embarrassment as she is one among the lightest girls. Actually if the position is taken correctly that is if the guy keeps his leg in between the girl's (still standing ehem!), lock her arms behind with his elbow, the lady in Shallow Hal(not Gwyneth Paltrow :-) or for that matter our very own Tun Tun could be bended and brought up with ease.
Now, I wonder why people who cannot even move their ass come to learn dance? Some of the guys do not even know to dance at chance. Are they 'Sati-Satyavan', the male counterpart of 'Sati-Savitri' that they cannot afford to stand close to a 'Parayee Aurat'? As if we are asking them to marry us!
Some Software Engineers do not realise that they are born and bred only to be Software Engineers. Mr. Fix-it, you design, code, test, bug, debug but please don' t ping pong in the name of Latino. Hey, that's my breast you are talking to. If I catch the eyes and smile, there you miss your steps. Nincompoop!

Adding salt to their injury (or was it mine?) was this female who came in a spaghetti top, voluptuous to the extent of looking fake, moving the moves and targetting her preys. Not my batch though. Every guy her batch worth his pants waited his turn. Poor souls! At the most they can hold her hands and waist. Water water every where but not a drop to drink!

Now, I get the forwarded images of Miss Rai and I delete them mercilessly. She was just another face but ever since I became single, she seems to be growing prettier by the day. Bitch! God was in a hurry while creating me I guess. Lo! Pamela smiles. What is the hullabaloo over a pair of silicons? Whaaa? TOI said she removed? So, you too believe in authenticity? No, lady my point is what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine. I just wish they were my brains to help me take wiser decisions in life.

What a relief! Now, let me go back to the etiquette of public speaking. Hello hello mike testing. Ladies and gentlemen, it's not working. What the f@$*!

20 comments:

au naturel said...

come to noida...i'll introduce u to software engineers who can make the likes of chayanne n swayze look like billies on a hot tin roof...we even have dancers expert in the refineed art of tangra (tango + bhangra).
n u r soo damn right bout the sita rita equation...i'd wish to add mita gita nita n the likes who fall tween the 2 extremes...shades of grey all...no1s all black or white...everyones a bitch or a kutta at some point or the other...
n hey the noble adjective is cool...an original..never heard anyone call em that...made me imagine things which were hilarious...
-amit

au naturel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

After going through all your post's...i would like to write a note...

"Heartfull Expressions of a women.......came out nicely as a piece of Art"

Anonymous said...

hey can you tell me what you know not to write
you r just great.......just grrreat

write to you when iam free
maxcie

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Did I forgot to say, I would have married you the moment I saw you if you were as pretty and sexy and hot as your words and phrases.
Legolas

romila said...

Well,Why do man always assume that any girl would marry 'em at the drop of a hat?

It would definitely save a lot of deflated ego if they tone down that attitude?

Hearing ,Mr Legolas?

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Mr Legolas,one mere suggestion ,rather a request.

Why dont you start a blog and give us(mere mortals)an opportunity to post few comments ?

We would love it and besides,It would be an honour to read a blog of someone so bountifully sardonic with a wry sense of humour.

Humour me.
Romila

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Arunima said...

My God! Have I missed the opportunity of a life time? Such hatred! I am so sorry that you were dissappointed. My sympathies for you. Never be duped again. I just cannot help feeling pretty, hot and sexy. Did i miss anything? What's the name? Mr. Leg-ol-ass.

au naturel said...

ouchhh

Whistleblower said...

You seem to know the male's mind inside out. I am intimidated. At the same time impressed.

Arunima said...

eeks! blue berry, I removed your comment by mistake. sorry! Legolas started using it as his boxing ring. so, I had to remove them. Anyway, thanks Maxie and Amit. Drop in mails too. Legolas, atleast you enjoy my blog so, keep visiting. Moreover, anything that I don't like is at the click of a button. so, it doesn't really matter :-). I am just wearing my gloves too.

Anonymous said...

I am scared of visiting arunima.blogspot.com hehehee..

--Jo

Anonymous said...

My my...the comments section seems to be more interesting than the main blog section...hee haw hee haw...
Anyways, neat piece...keep it up!!

Anonymous said...

Thank me for teaching you how to use the glove and yes another for instructing you where the glove is and how to use it in the first place.
Leg-ol-ass

au naturel said...

ahem...legolas bro...no offence but u asked for it...a free advice i meant...n since 'buy one get one' is so en vogue, u asked for one i'll give u 2..
1:) craving attention is alright but not at someone else’s expense...i see no point in the way u talk cep this...there are other multitudinous wez to grab it...(attention ie)...u started right by wanting to ask for permission to comment here but lost way somewhere n started commenting without it...concentrate on uniformity tween thought n action.
2:) never use a verb in past tense after 'DID'...gives a very bad impression on ur target audience.
ur comments on this comment of mine r welcome at ssting_in@yahoo.com if u want it to be with me...n if u wanna stretch it u r free to do it here itself..though i reckon this is hardly the stage...
i hope this goes along way in improving ur personality n in the general betterment of human kind...
ur well wisher
-amit