words

Baby

Anxiety

Tenderness

Miracle   

Peace

Love 

 

Delight

Fascination

Joy

and again

The tyres screeched and then a bang! My baby started crying suddenly. i cannot put in words what i felt in that second. Thank God, nothing happened. Well, the car behind us had rear-ended our car. We were at an intersection, stopping at a red signal. With the baby, S is a very careful driver. The other driver apologised profusely, but it has left me a little shaken about taking him out. i wanted to hug him and pacify, but you cannot remove the baby from the car-seat immediately. This might be just the heart of a mother, but the most painful road safety rule in the U.S is not being able to hold your child while you are driving. Yet, i have to thank the car-seat for the safety of my child in that accident. If he was in my arms, he could have been hurt.

We  moved to Illinois at the end of July and S is yet to get his driving license from here. If we report to the police, it goes against the car and the driver that the car has been in an accident no matter whose fault. We were worried that this may hinder S from getting the license and decided not to report, and go via the insurance. i still do not know how to drive (this has been my new year resolution for many years. Darn, i make it like going to mars), and S has been doing all the driving for every small thing. As new parents, we are also struggling with the baby and trying to get to a routine.

i don't know if it is the hormones; after the baby, i have been crying for every small thing. So, let me cry for what could have happened (my baby could have been hurt), what did not happen (o thank God, we are all safe), and what happened (it is our brand new car and we need to change the bumper and some parts).

To release tension, i called up mother-in-law and reported the incident. The conversation went to another direction about God and me not praying enough or offering enough to God as i had been bed-ridden once after an accident. i am spiritual, but not too much into homas and pujas. S was pissed with me for instigating this to the mom-in-law and made me sound like a hypocrite. Going forward, all tension will be released on my blog.

A friend had suggested we go for apple picking this weekend to some place which is an hour's drive from here. i have decided to pick apples from the refrigerator instead.

when you have a baby

When you have a baby: 

• You stand in front of the mirror at midnight and chop your long tresses off because you forgot when was the last time you washed it.
• Having a nice shower is a luxury and 11pm, 12 or, sometimes 1 am is the right time.
• You are changing all the time - the diaper, the clothes, or the bibs.
• The baby is smelling fresh and nice while you smell... nevermind!
• You wonder what is sleep, and you can do it while sitting.
• You are confident that someday you can sleep while standing too.
• Rock a bye baby is classic rock, and bloody mary and her lamb is suddenly all so important.
• Tummy time is olympics to you.
• You act like a clown to entertain the baby.
• The longest road trip is to the grocer.
• Sex is what you tick in a form as male/female/other.
• The universe and all the galaxies revolve around your little one.
• You feel disconnected when friends mail you about their problems in life.
• You click pictures of every gesture of the baby and send it to unsuspecting relatives.
• You don't know who cries more when baby gets vaccinated and stay awake the whole night to soothe the little one in your arms.

 

a song

Diaper diaper
diaper in the morning
diaper in the noontime
diaper diaper
diaper when the sun goes down
                                                    ~ Broke back mommy :-)