And then it came

i had been waiting for the snow to come. Finally, it did snow just for a day, as if it was meant only for me. It hasn't snowed this year and it is unlikely to happen again. i was thrilled to see it from the window. But it came on a day when i had my doctor's appointment at 8.15 am. It was tough to go out, take out the car and rush. All this while, i thought of snowman and rolling in the snow, making snowballs and singing ala Jaya Bachchan and Sanjeev Kumar, Logon na maaro inhe yahi to mera dildaar hai. When it did happen, i just smiled and cheered, but did none of the above and surprised S. Perhaps, it is my nesting instincts that is avoiding me from prancing around. i can see the concern in S' face too. Tells me i look very vulnerable in this state. Well, the snow was serene, beautiful, and also scary all at once. Perhaps, the next time, i will know what to do with it.

Shadows

"Most people think that shadows follow, precede, or surround beings or objects. The truth is that they also surround words, ideas, desires, deeds, impulses and memories." -Elie Wiesel, writer, Nobel laureate (b. 1928)
They also form your experiences and shape your opinion of the world many a times.
In an erstwhile organization that i worked for, there were talks about a lot of office affairs. Many people were not spared. There were a couple of bachelors and single women, who were close to each other. They were eligible and i guess people found them boring to talk about. The more interesting were the married kinds.   i was married and like to believe i was (am) still attractive, and i talk to guys frankly. So, i definitely fitted the bill. At times, i felt it would be a prestige issue if you are not being talked about.  As there were as many women as men in that department, the gossip did the rounds and all of us kept it together, but i realised at the helm of all of these, the source often happened to be someone whose personal life sucked, and thrived at gossiping about other people. As they say, nobody talks about the secret virtues of other people.

i am often close to male colleagues and end up being their agony aunt too. So, i was discussing this with S, an ex-colleague of mine. (He is married to a beautiful woman and has a son) He suddenly said,  i pity myself for not being able to have one of those affairs. i must join back to that organization and had me laughing in splits.  Anyway, this has given me some short story ideas and i am working on them now. Hope they see the light of day.

Having said all this, i shall give some gyaan if you are involved with someone at work. This is purely my personal opinion.

• Does your life suck so much that you couldn't find anyone outside the organization? lol! kidding!
• Even if you are the most eligible couple, first check out your company policy.
• I hope it is not your boss, or the boss' wife/husband. :-)
• Can you stand the person at work as well as at home? (if it culminates to marriage.)
• Be discrete. No need to paint the town or the office red with your love. People often come for the purpose of working in an office.
• If you are a couple, people may generally leave the two of you alone and not mingle at work. Are you ok with that?
• No PDAs please.
• It is hard whenever a relationship breaks, it will be harder if you have to see the person everyday. You may want mother earth to swallow you alive when that happens.
• If it is an extra-marital affair, God bless you! :-) Just remember, for any amount of chance that we get in life, there is always a choice that we can make. I don't want to be preachy, so i said, God bless you, but the world is full of beautiful and caring people. Doesn't mean we get involved with all of them. If you still think this was the second chance or the third that you so deserve in life, just remember every relationship requires an effort to make it work. Think future. And remember all the above bullet points.
• If it is a beautiful friendship that you share, nobody has the right to interfere. However, it is not wrong to introspect and see if you unknowingly crossed the line, or gave away too much fodder for gossip.

Sound and fury, and some romance

i thought 14th was 13th, but S wished me and i came to know i am behind time. Then the delivery boy got me a box with an indoor plant (the blue iris) in a planter with the following note and had me in tears.

For Arunima,
For the sound, the fury, and the color in my life.
      I love you.

From,
 S

You do know i have a wonderful husband and i was smart enough to marry him. Feel like doing the penguin dance for him. i look like a penguin these days and if they are cute, i must also be cute. Perhaps, i should do a Demi Moore. :-)

to pee or to pee

i dress up to go somewhere, then i need to pee. i go somewhere, i need to pee. i try to eat, i need to pee. i try to sleep, i need to pee. S and friends went for a movie, while i stayed back to pee. i want to move my bed to the restroom sometimes, just to pee.

Never get preggy, i tell you. It makes you pee, pee, and only pee.

april showers and may flowers

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young

Finally, i get the chance to lift up my feet and listen to songs. i am playing this song of Bob Dylan to my kid. :-) Love the lyrics. i am listening to the version sung by Audra Mae from "Sons of Anarchy".
Well, i am not bothered about the bike that i sent home. Bribed every possible person to get the work done. Now, i am thinking even if just the handle reaches home, i will consider my work done.

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young

i am staying in a very quiet place in the U.S.almost like the country side. Saw some specks of snow for the first time in my life, like snow dust. It hasn't really snowed this year though. It is very cold outside, but i try to walk daily for sometime to build up stamina. Hubby was scared seeing my size suddenly. Though he is responsible for the size, i understand it will be a shock to see a 10 kg increase suddenly.
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

Feel really nice that i could meet my eldest brother. He came down to Bangalore for the first time and helped me wind up. He was very strict when we grew up and i often misunderstood him. This time, i could see my brother in a new light. He is suffering from depression, but he did all he could for his little sister. Took me all over Bangalore to finish all sorts of paper work. Prayers for him! Friends and strangers help you too, and i have relied on that kindness, but sometimes there is a price to pay for the help that you take from people. It gets mentioned in the worst of times as if you don't know they have helped. In the last 6 months, i faced it all. The last 6 months were my weakest, my most vulnerable and also, the strongest. Through tears, frustration, and perseverance, i survived it. Now, as they say i am waiting for April showers and May flowers. (i am due in May)