Wednesday, February 22, 2012


"Most people think that shadows follow, precede, or surround beings or objects. The truth is that they also surround words, ideas, desires, deeds, impulses and memories." -Elie Wiesel, writer, Nobel laureate (b. 1928)
They also form your experiences and shape your opinion of the world many a times.
In an erstwhile organization that i worked for, there were talks about a lot of office affairs. Many people were not spared. There were a couple of bachelors and single women, who were close to each other. They were eligible and i guess people found them boring to talk about. The more interesting were the married kinds.   i was married and like to believe i was (am) still attractive, and i talk to guys frankly. So, i definitely fitted the bill. At times, i felt it would be a prestige issue if you are not being talked about.  As there were as many women as men in that department, the gossip did the rounds and all of us kept it together, but i realised at the helm of all of these, the source often happened to be someone whose personal life sucked, and thrived at gossiping about other people. As they say, nobody talks about the secret virtues of other people.

i am often close to male colleagues and end up being their agony aunt too. So, i was discussing this with S, an ex-colleague of mine. (He is married to a beautiful woman and has a son) He suddenly said,  i pity myself for not being able to have one of those affairs. i must join back to that organization and had me laughing in splits.  Anyway, this has given me some short story ideas and i am working on them now. Hope they see the light of day.

Having said all this, i shall give some gyaan if you are involved with someone at work. This is purely my personal opinion.
  • Does your life suck so much that you couldn't find anyone outside the organization? lol! kidding!
  • Even if you are the most eligible couple, first check out your company policy.
  • I hope it is not your boss, or the boss' wife/husband. :-)
  • Can you stand the person at work as well as at home? (if it culminates to marriage.)
  • Be discrete. No need to paint the town or the office red with your love. People often come for the purpose of working in an office.
  • If you are a couple, people may generally leave the two of you alone and not mingle at work. Are you ok with that?
  • No PDAs please.
  • It is hard whenever a relationship breaks, it will be harder if you have to see the person everyday. You may want mother earth to swallow you alive when that happens.
  • If it is an extra-marital affair, God bless you! :-) Just remember, for any amount of chance that we get in life, there is always a choice that we can make. don't want to be preachy, so i said, God bless you, but the world is full of beautiful and caring people. Doesn't mean we get involved with all of them. If you still think this was the second chance or the third that you so deserve in life, just remember every relationship requires an effort to make it work. Think future. And remember all the above bullet points.
  • If it is a beautiful friendship that you share, nobody has the right to interfere. However, it is not wrong to introspect and see if you unknowingly crossed the line, or gave away too much fodder for gossip.


austere said...

ha ha ha... waiting for the stories.

kirti said...

Go ahead , you have some guaranteed readers here but make it fast as time is running out .

tys said...

this is precisely why i never have affairs...too much effort....another thing is that i live by this stupid rule of do onto others as i wud like them to do onto me ( lots of dodos here)...

of course it also helps that i am ugly as sin.