Wednesday, December 15, 2010
i just had to share this
Cannot say more. Please read. Manipur: How to Lose a Generation, from Tehelka.
Silence!
“I was reminded of something, an elusive rhythm, a fragment of lost words, that I had heard somewhere a long time ago. For a moment, a phrase tried to take shape in my mouth and my lips parted like a dumb man’s, as though there was more struggling upon them than a wisp of startled air. But they made no sound, and what I had almost remembered was uncommunicable forever."~ The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald.
I look out of the window and see the mist forming; the weather is just salubrious in namma Bengaluru. I love this place. If I hadn’t met with the accident, S would have been sending pictures of snow to me from the US by now, like he did last year. I have never seen snow in my life, not even been to Darjeeling.
I have memories of childhood, they say memories are selective. I have good memories of those with the siblings, friends in the neighborhood, good memories of mom and us, good memories of me and dad, but, I don’t have any memory of us as a family laughing together. I have some, of us playing Ludo and watching Cricket, Wimbledon together, but beyond those games, I have no memories of pep talk in the family over the dining table, over a cup of tea: mom, dad, and us children, or laughing like nuts over the antics of one of us or a silly joke. 19 years of my life, until I left for Bangalore, and no memory of us having a good time together as a family. Dumb brain!
Perhaps, my views in life have been too idealistic and my brain chose to remember what was worth remembering. Oh yes, it was the year 1989. We came for a South India trip and all of us went to eat chicken biryani, in some restaurant in Chennai. I remember that. I was too young, but we seemed contented. Perhaps, my family was a happy family.
I look out of the window and see the mist forming; the weather is just salubrious in namma Bengaluru. I love this place. If I hadn’t met with the accident, S would have been sending pictures of snow to me from the US by now, like he did last year. I have never seen snow in my life, not even been to Darjeeling.
I have memories of childhood, they say memories are selective. I have good memories of those with the siblings, friends in the neighborhood, good memories of mom and us, good memories of me and dad, but, I don’t have any memory of us as a family laughing together. I have some, of us playing Ludo and watching Cricket, Wimbledon together, but beyond those games, I have no memories of pep talk in the family over the dining table, over a cup of tea: mom, dad, and us children, or laughing like nuts over the antics of one of us or a silly joke. 19 years of my life, until I left for Bangalore, and no memory of us having a good time together as a family. Dumb brain!
Perhaps, my views in life have been too idealistic and my brain chose to remember what was worth remembering. Oh yes, it was the year 1989. We came for a South India trip and all of us went to eat chicken biryani, in some restaurant in Chennai. I remember that. I was too young, but we seemed contented. Perhaps, my family was a happy family.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
thoughts on the eve of the festival of lights
I wrote this on the eve of Diwali, but did not post it here. Like Pallavi did, i felt it is nice to reflect once in a while.
I hear some children laughing and bursting crackers outside the apartment. Ah, childhood, how easy it is to be happy! I thought it was shifting to the suburbs of Bangalore that has suddenly made me feel the chill nip in the air, but I realize, the year is slowly but surely coming to an end. On the eve of the festival of lights, as i send wishes to all my near and dear ones, i reflect and ask these questions to myself:
I hear some children laughing and bursting crackers outside the apartment. Ah, childhood, how easy it is to be happy! I thought it was shifting to the suburbs of Bangalore that has suddenly made me feel the chill nip in the air, but I realize, the year is slowly but surely coming to an end. On the eve of the festival of lights, as i send wishes to all my near and dear ones, i reflect and ask these questions to myself:
- What or who inspired me this year?
- How has my personal relationship with family, friends and colleagues been?
- Did i make new friends?
- What were my personal goals?
- What were my career or financial goals?
- What bogged me down?
- What kept me going?
- Did i go out of my way to help anyone?
- How was my health?
- Which book touched or uplifted me?
- Did i lose anyone dear?
- What new skill(s) did i acquire?
- How much or what did i donate?
- What hurt me?
- Did i have a hobby? new/old
- Which incident or what made me laugh like nuts?
- What was the most important thing that happened this year?
- Have i become a better person?
Thursday, December 09, 2010
The reassurances of the everyday
i stood in my balcony today and saw the landscaping being done by the support staff. It was beautiful! Well, i am recovering fast. With nothing better to do, i found contentment in the humdrum reassurances of the everyday. Visited the doc. He hasn't removed the cast on my leg, but he has given me a walker. I have been advised to take it slow. The hip still pains. Umm, my hips don't lie. i am able to go to the rest room on my own, and also go to the dining table. My bed pan days are over. It's a great thing to be able to poop on your own. man! i can't tell you. Mom used to make fun at times, and tell me not to do it more than once in a day. So, i am gaining back my independence, one step at a time.
Colleagues visit me once in a while and cheer me up and they got me a lot of movies and shows, Sienfeld for one. I also read Mystic River, Shawshank Redemption, Paths of Glory, and Shalimar the Clown. Will write about them later.
Femina declared my letter to be an award-winning one and i will be receiving a cell phone cover from Miss Sixty. Now that my mobile phone got stolen, i am sure the phone cover was what i had most wanted. :-)
Anyho, i also won the caption contest for blood donation in my office. I happened to check my mails from bed and just sent, and lo, i had won. You see, winning is in my err cast, or hip so to say.
"A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think" ~ Alanis Morisette
Colleagues visit me once in a while and cheer me up and they got me a lot of movies and shows, Sienfeld for one. I also read Mystic River, Shawshank Redemption, Paths of Glory, and Shalimar the Clown. Will write about them later.
Femina declared my letter to be an award-winning one and i will be receiving a cell phone cover from Miss Sixty. Now that my mobile phone got stolen, i am sure the phone cover was what i had most wanted. :-)
Anyho, i also won the caption contest for blood donation in my office. I happened to check my mails from bed and just sent, and lo, i had won. You see, winning is in my err cast, or hip so to say.
"A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think" ~ Alanis Morisette
Sunday, December 05, 2010
what the...!
When you struggle to sit up and place the laptop, and then position yourself slowly to check your mail, and the mail that you get, is about how to increase the size of your penis... hmpf!
One friend updated on Facebook that his son is already going to school. I replied, "And I am still pissing in bed". Dad played devotional songs in a loop in my room. Wondered if he was thinking that I am gonna die or something. :-)
Everywhere in the papers, it is all about scams, be it at the national or the regional level. I seriously feel, if all of these tainted politicians are asked to resign, nobody will be left at the helm.
Now we cannot promise the sun and the moon to our loved ones, and write poetry as she is claiming that the sun is her property. :-) The comments on this article were damn funny.
One said, "Someone should claim space itself and charge her rent for the use unless she moves her sun outside of the universe."
One friend updated on Facebook that his son is already going to school. I replied, "And I am still pissing in bed". Dad played devotional songs in a loop in my room. Wondered if he was thinking that I am gonna die or something. :-)
Everywhere in the papers, it is all about scams, be it at the national or the regional level. I seriously feel, if all of these tainted politicians are asked to resign, nobody will be left at the helm.
Now we cannot promise the sun and the moon to our loved ones, and write poetry as she is claiming that the sun is her property. :-) The comments on this article were damn funny.
One said, "Someone should claim space itself and charge her rent for the use unless she moves her sun outside of the universe."
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