Osama and Us - A Channel4 Docu pitch

Directors: Jamie Cambell and Joel Wilson

"Over the last 15 years, the United States government has poured billions of dollars into an unsuccessful attempt to trace and capture thw world's most wanted man, Osama Bin Laden. The FBI is now offering $25 million plus a $2 million tip for information leading directly to Bin Laden's capture. Still, the al-Qaeda figurehead remains at large. In early 2003, from their war room above an inauspicious newsagents in Balham, two ambitious filmmakers have decided that they can succeed where all others have failed.

Gathering information from exprts and friends of Bin Laden in the UK, we begin to unravel the real man behind the myth. Bryan Fyfield Shayler, the Brit who taught the teenaged Bin Laden in Jeddah, tells us about his formative years. Omar Bakri a radical Islamic extremist who is friends with Bin Laden, joins us on a bumper car ride and gives us an indication of Osama's current location. Peter Juvenal, a British cameraman who has visited Bin Laden in his cave, shares his experience. Omar Bik, the head of al-Jazeera news, gives us an upto the minute account of Bin Laden's whereabouts. We examine the details of the times Bin Laden spent in London and reconstruct an Oxford scene from 1971 in which he went punting with two Spanish girls. Jamie dresses as Osama and accompanied by two Spanish looking girls heads off in a punt. Joel remains on shore questioning passers by. Were they here in 1971? Did they see the man on the punt? Did he offer them any virgins?

back in the war room, we establish that the evidence overwhelmingly suggests that our man is hiding in the Middle East. If so, why haven't the American found him yet? Why are they pushing him out of the picture just as war with Iraq looms? We need to ask the Americans these questions. We call Osama Bin Laden's bluff and make a beeline to the one place where no one thought to look for him: the United States.
We challenge the Americans to present evidence of their quest to track down Bin Laden. In Washington we quiz Thomas Kean, the man who replaced Henry Kissinger at the head of the enquiry into September 11;as well as Prince Bandar, the Saudi Ambassador. We call directory enquiries and ask for the Axis of Evil. We ask the White house if there is convenient moment for us to 'shoot' George Bush. In Disney worls we cross examind Mickey Mouse. And when we begin to suspect that the American aren't really interested in finding Osama any more, we head over to texas where we probe the Carlyly Group, the 11th largest weapons manufacturer in the U.S. The bush family is a major investor. Does Georgie have a vested interest in war? The bin Laden family are also investors. What's going on?

Becoming suspicious of Bush, we start to develop some conspiracy theories. Does he know
where Osama is? We stalk his ranch in Crawford, and banter with the inhabitants of this 700-strong town. Failing to locate the President, we arrive back in Washington and infiltrate the press conferances. It is here that we put our most pressing questions to the powers-that-be."Isn't it in US interests to keep Bin Laden alive inorder to justify war against Iraq?" and "which is more difficult to prove :that
there are no weapons of mass destruction within Iraq, or that Bin Laden is not hiding in the USA?"

Evidence in hand, we arrive at the U.S Embassy in Governor Square, ready to claim our $27 million. And yet afterall perhaps, we are not quite willing to betry Bin Laden to U.S authorities.

Osama and US calls into question the idea that America and Britain are spearheading a resistance by the good and the great against the terror tactics of the evil ones. By asking uncomfortable questions of the superpower, it satirises the people at the top who believe that they are on the road to Truth and Justice. And by putting blundering underdogs into apparent danger and tricky intellectual territory, it cajoles the viewer into supporting their madcap quest for the millions. "

comedy of errors

Scene 1: mom and me

She: Where are you?
Me: Mama, I am shopping with Jenny.
She: Whenever I call up, you are shopping or she is shopping.
Me: (Giggles) today, both of us are doing it.
She: Why don’t you buy gold instead of buying all those dresses and junks?
Me: And wear what? :-)
She: :-) you never take anything seriously. I know how many dresses you have. BTW, What are you going to do with your dance classes?
Me: Dance
She: What about your boyfriends?
Me: Which boyfriend?
She: You told me last time nah?
Me: They ran away. I took your name:-)
She: listen, I read in the papers that one girl was raped in Delhi. Your dad and I were discussing it. When do you leave office?
Me: By 6.
She: Good, tell your boss I don’t allow you to work late.
Me: (Gosh!) ok, but if I am late also, somebody drops me.
She: No, never allow anybody to drop you. Go in a group.
Me: ok, bus or auto.
She: You will be walking alone from the bus stop. What if the autowallah take you somewhere else?
Me: I’ll keep watching :-). In that case, send me my vehicle.
She: Not at all, I brought you up with so much difficulty. Here, atleast, you are in front of my eyes.
Me: When I took the vehicle, I was out of your sight nah? As if you followed me on the roads.
She: Nothing doing.

Scene 2: ‘J’ and her mom

She: There is one boy your aunty spoke about
‘J’: ok
She: It seems he is religious. Goes to the church and all that
‘J’: ok great. What am I supposed to do?
She: I have given your number. They are interested. Some Sofware Engineer.
‘J’: Here, if you throw a stone in space, it falls on one Software Engineer.
She: whatever, it seems he wants a girl from Bangalore. Speak to him
‘J’: fine
She: If he asks you to meet, don’t meet ok.
‘J’: then, how are we supposed to know each other?
She: umm, that’s also right. Go with your big brother.
‘J’: For a date? (Laughs!) Mom, why don’t you come along with me for the date?

Stop, or our moms will shoot.

silicon slum

“You don’t want to go to school?” I asked. “Nahi, school me mera set nahi hota. Aur kuch pucho.” This is the reply I got from a boy dwelling in a slum. I was not surprised though. Parents don’t inculcate the habit or the need to be educated to these kids. All they think of is to earn some money and go home.

To have our own footage for the library, we visited some slums in and around the city the other day. We went in a small group, not wanting to attract undue attention. Volunteered to join so that I could allow my seat to recuperate itself.

Most of the kids indulge in child labour, sell things or work as helpers in nearby shops or restaurants, workshops. Some of them got curious and came to see what was happening. Some shots were taken and when asked if they knew that child labour is a crime, they feigned ignorance. They know where their priorities lie. Empty stomach talks! There are many NGOs involved actively in rehabilitating the slum dwellers but so much more needs to be done.

Scary sight to see a small house with almost 10 people in it. No privacy, nothing. The stench in the area, the unhygenic surrounding. And it was just the other day, I had admired the opulence of the ITPL and electronic city and the companies there, standing proud and tall. The face of Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and the Silicon Slum.

To be very honest, I wouldn’t like to visit the places again. I am no Mother Teresa, just a normal girl with normal dreams and fears. I did not feel any empathy esp. for the men there. I was scared of them and wanted to escape. Urged my colleagues to make it fast. Some of them reminded me of the men you come across sometimes while treading a lonely lane. The stare they give at you, even when you console yourself they are harmless all the while trying to ignore them or will yourself to walk a little faster.