On women's day

i open your wardrobe. i get a faint smell of you, warm and fresh. Wonder how you remain smelling good throughout the day even when i cannot do it. i close the wardrobe immediately, fearing the smell would fade. It was my wish to stay back and hold on to my job. Thank you for understanding, and giving me that space.

The house seem big and the bed even bigger. i miss curling up to you, i miss you keeping my feet warm, i miss you reaching out for me and for my hands; even when you are asleep.  i miss the talk and updates between morsels of rice, and also the cleaning together after dinner. i miss the small pleasure of watching movies together on the laptop. i have not finished "band of brothers" because we started it together and we couldn't continue. i miss you complimenting me, and forcing you to compliment. i miss you saying,"You look really nice. For tomorrow also, 'You look really nice'. So, don't ask. :-) ". i miss the weekend evenings on our balcony, you on the guitar and me singing out of tune, over chicken and drinks. Now, i stand in the balcony all alone, and look at the lights trailing in the distance from vehicles, only the cool night breeze and my thoughts for company. Everything seem so distant. i miss the financial planning and THE financial planning and the financial planning over and over again.

The days go on. i keep myself busy. Work is cool. Colleagues are good. The pay is nice. i am managing well, but through it all, i have missed you.  i hope this separation pays off.

And today is the day we celebrate Women's day. The woman that i am, the woman that i want to be somehow doesn't add up without you. i pray the months fly, and i could be with you as soon as possible.