Thursday, February 07, 2008

The heart is a lonely hunter...

“The heart is a lonely hunter with only one desire to find some lastin' comfort in the arms of a lover's fire” – A song for Bobby Long

I have loved, I have lost and I have loved again and I am glad I took those chances. The Karans that I coffeed with, while I was looking out for that perfect love and perfect relationship made my existence meaningful though I couldn't really give an appellation beyond the the very passe, 'friendship'. There will be stories to tell and moments to re-live through my grandchildren. (Could be grandchild. Government might adopt the one-child policy.)

I know I have not been fair to someone. Another time, another place, I’d have loved to love him, the way love is meant to be. When everything is so perfect, you tend to seek imperfection and pain. Maybe, I just did that.

Looking back, I am thankful to the guy who claimed that he is very selfish and an asshole and told me not to trust him. I am thankful to him for proving his own words. I wouldn’t have known so much happiness if it was not for him. Somehow, he never met my emotional requirements and if he was mean, I was meaner. For each new girl he befriended, I befriended 2 guys. He was stronger than me ultimately and I ended up hurting myself. But as always, there was a new beginning… in the form of another guy and I met my fiancé. (laughs!)
Well, I wanted to write about the fiancé (henceforth, S) and I don’t know where I have headed. It is one of those online relationships that worked. (Are you reading this Stone? You have got company.) He mailed me through my blog (now he doesn’t care and I am sure he doesn’t even remember the URL). I didn’t have to tell him about my past, present or the future. He is very level headed and sometimes challenges my beliefs and has managed to knock some sense to me.

I always wanted a Rhett Butler kind of a guy but he is good only in a novel.

Now, I don’t really think I have been mean. I don’t really remember that I have ever been hurt.

19 comments:

Cynic in Wonderland said...

..a slight aside ( coming from your rhett butler bit), there is this quote just before the song secret garden "I love him for the man he wants be and the man he almost is" .. i guess thats what most femmes see?

Ritu said...

Good for you Arunima... Congratulations... I've been married to the man I fell in love with for 13 years...so I can with conviction tell you, that yes...LOVE can do that to us...make us forget our past hurts....

Wish you and S all the happiness you seek...

AmitL said...

Hi,Arunima-I can only smile,as always,reading your post.Whether it be the Karans you've coffeed with,or,the guy who admitted that he is very selfish,the end result seems to be 'all's well that endeth well'.And,that's what matters,does it not??

akash said...

Wow, now that was so out of the blue. It was beautiful.

I guess it is the season. Love is in the air.

Aqua said...

loved this post...and cynic's comment too! there was something about this post that make me think of closures and new beginnings at the same time.

WIshing you and S the happiest times ahead!

Stone said...

This is AWESOME :-)

Congratulations to both of you!!

And hail the INTERNET :-)

austere said...

Congratulations,Arunima, this man's a keeper.

I'm thinking about the point you made re evolution. True, but not easy to accept for oneself.

Xeb said...

There are Karans and there are Karans.... the important thing is that you enjoyed both the coffee and the conversation! :)

Look ahead, life is beautiful! :D

Many congratulations to you!!!

V said...

Hey, I am happy for you.

Congrats!

romila said...

Congrats man, m damn glad for you.

As for the "mean & hurt" bit,
I have just one say here,
"If you weren't hurt or mean way back, you wouldn't be experiencing the emotional tranquility enveloping you now"

manuscrypts said...

considering the fact that its a match made in virtuality, and we have been loyal readers, where is the invite???!! *a bear hug, an 'all the very best' and a 'clink' to happy times ahead* :D

claytonia vices said...

Beaaautiful post, arunima! Yeah, hail the internet. For one 1-in-a-million person to meet another, the internet offers the best chances!

Wish you and S great times ahead!

Preethi said...

Congrats on finding your man. :) coming here for the first time i think. Been browsing through ur posts. Enjoyed them. I'd been reading too many break up stories in blogger today! your post was so positive - a breath of fresh air. Wishing you all happiness:)

Dreamcatcher said...

Congratulations :)

shub said...

yay! congratulations! I'm so happy for you! :D >:D<

Nitu said...

Visiting your blog for the first time.
Congratulation.
Wishing both of you the happiest time ahead.

d4u said...

Great..im happy for you!!! Congratulations :)

P said...

the most beautiful and realistic post I read on love (and there were a lot this week).
congrats and best wishes..

Sparsh said...

This my first visit here.Rhett Butler wasn't really a bad man:D

Congratulations!:)