Monday, May 15, 2006

I want the job because Shakira's hips don't lie

Is that a salary package or a lottery jackpot? Yo!! Way to go for some IITians. The salary packages as quoted by the media have made me forget what little I know of multiplication.

Now, the fact that I did not attempt the IIT’s entrance test in my time is for a very noble cause. I did not want my parents and relatives to die of surprise. Very noble indeed! nai?

Now, that doesn’t mean I respect all IITians. I know someone who doesn’t have any net etiquette and who even after a PhD or GhD or some D acquired so much of sense called the nonsense that he even tried to ‘mitti me millao’ my name.

Anyway, that is history and I am still unfazed.

What I am trying to say is that I have perfected the art of attending interviews. It is all about sharing experiences you see. With a track record of changing the job every 3 to 6 months, you can guess how good I am at this art. Some of them didn’t know that I already know what they are going to ask, ”Why are you looking for a change?” I wanted to say the question has leaked but kept it to myself.

Obviously, you can’t say, ”I was told to go” so you have to spice it up and say as if you were the most priced employee of the organization and salary is not at all your main concern and that you are keen to contribute to this organization until retirement, which may be another six months according to you.

I have finally joined another organization where the lunch is free. I am planning to highlight this in my resume as my objective too. “To work for a progressive organization where lunch is free”

I was asked why I left Tenenbaum? Tenenbaum bombed my sanity, there was nothing to see in C, my pointers were not pointing. Fourier’s series left me frosted, Physics psyched me up and the University passed me because they were scared my registration number would become immortal if they don’t. I opted for Human Resource for further studies because I love human relations, which is proved by my boyfriend number 44.

I deserve the job because I am very good at the universal rule of Cut, Copy, Paste and I have a holistic approach to typing that is ‘seek and thou shall find’. I can type one word per minute even if the job doesn’t require any typing speed. I am just highlighting this as ‘awards and achievements’. Since I am good at all this, I can teach and train others or even write pages and pages on how to cut, copy and paste for their processes and applications to run. I pledge by Shakira and as you know, her hips don’t lie.

I am busy with the induction and training that my blog has been ignored. Readers, kindly leave your URLs so that I can follow you up. I belong to the minority in the blogging community and I do not support any RSS. I want my reservation of at least 200 readers per day. So what even if my content is of poor quality! Keep visiting.

31 comments:

Mr. Maverick said...

LOL :) Well written.

I am also from IIT btw! I guess its entrance being the biggest fluke of my life!

Arun

Sujay Sukumar said...

YOU COULD TUTOR ..."THE ART OF FACING INTERVIEWS"

d4u said...

Hehe...visitor and my roll no is 2:p

Rk said...

Congrats on the new job.
I guess apart from that, everything else mentioned in the blog is not truth.

Stone said...

Eggzactly like you, I did not attempt the IIT’s entrance and chhup-chaap took admission in BSc Comp. Science.

Anny said...

Very well written.....Gr8 job!

Himanshu said...

Congrats Arunima,
On the same track I also resigned last week and now looking for a release date. I believe you know how critical you become after putting up your papers. Hope you’ll enjoy the new place. And yeah the free lunch. :)

Prat said...

Ah, a hilarious passenger on my boat.
I know the 30 interviews, 25 call letters, 14 jobs all in 2 years thing oh so well.
and the 44 boyfriends you mentiond...that too. statistics another day.
chin up, and spread your sunshine, as ever!

Kishore said...

Ha..ha.. Hilarious narration! :)
But ur point is succinct though...

infinity said...

my university(iit-kgp) wnt pass me for tht reason...my roll no is already immortal...

Anat said...

something jumped out from this post and caught my eye "Boyfriend Number 44". Imagine how surprising it would have been for a blog post to leap out of the screen and make a grab at my cornea.

{"boyfrind number 44" ...sounds something like "main qaidi number 44, jail ki salakhon ke peeche se duniya ko dekhta hoon......."

barbarindian said...

hips don’t lie

Indeed.

Barbarindians

Goan Pao said...

Free lunch, how i remember those day of free lunch, well the higher pay at my current job is just not as satisfying....
And continue on with that low quality writing, you have me hooked on for sure....me no understande wise men blogs...

AmitL said...

LOL....nice post,Arunima..and,yes,attending interviews is an art,indeed,hilariously explained by you.A job change every 3-6 months?Wow..that's a record,for sure.Good answer to'why are you looking for a change?'..that's one of the trickiest questions,I think.:)

anumita said...

Free lunch! Wow!! Can I get a job too?

paddy said...

interviews seem to be something terrifying but actually i am amazed by listening to the kind of answers that my sister gives in her interviews , and yet has reasons for them to be practical . and thus leaves an impression on the interviewer . i just cant think about the day i would be facing interviews.... it wud not be long if i am able to bell the cat or its cousin later this year... so maybe just need to start thinking like you ppl..

Anshuman Ghosh said...

Oh yeah, some (many?) IITians are cranky - cranky to the extent of being classified as "What a wierdo!"

And yet, they seem to always make some news or the other .. wht do they think of themselves, huh ?

Aqua said...

lol! ;) don't worry... rss or no rss...we're your regular readers.

Dubba Das said...

I read your stuff when I get a few free moments during various tasks.
I liked the way you brought in Shakira...

hope and love said...

a very frank and thoughtful post..
great..!!

chandni said...

LOL...that was funny!

Good luck with the new job and all that

:)

seriously_frivolous said...

Well written...I find myself in the same boat...I change jobs so often that could put a pendulem to shame. This uncanny ability to soon interest in a job reminds me of my school days when I could instantly fall in love with a dame and get out of it as fast...Live moves on...

Anonymous said...

Liar!!

manuscrypts said...

and they say theres nothing such as a free lunch :)

Anshuman Ghosh said...

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1539497.cms

Swathi said...

btw, i luved ur sarcy comment on reservations :)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

yuvar hanaar, yuu vill be happy to note that I found your post zimply hilarious.

and congrads on the new job.

and I will send bad voodoo magic towards the 'IITian' who tried to 'mitti millaofy' your name.

:D

amitken said...

LOL.. a very well written post. love it :)

and even i have always hated answering that Q - 'why r u lookin for a change?'
i mean wat the heck? how does it matter? i recently attended an interview just for fun - and it was good to answer this question in a diff way.
I said 'well, actually i do not hv a reason for change.I am happy with my current job. i came here coz some of my friends working in ur organization convinced me to attend this interview. In fact based on what offer you make, i'll decide if i need a change or not'.

and then i loved the expressions on the face of interviewer :-)

Minal said...

Loved it.

Can't stick to a job, either.

Chander Dogra said...

Well cut copy paste is the most important talent. Probably most of the people get most of the work done using that.
Long live windows.

Anonymous said...

Hallo! ;)
heh... what disturbed news!
what do you suppose about it?