Wednesday, December 08, 2004

She, Innocent Divorcee

A calculator in hand, she collected all the bills and added 13 Rs. for the batteries, 50 Rs. for the flowers, 35 for the baloons… I was irritated. In the general body meeting, she went about questioning the people who had taken responsibility of the finance for the Christmas Celebration. I was not involved in anything. I had just performed a dance and was least interested in who has taken what or who has cheated if anybody had done too. All of us had contributed and I was appalled to see her doing it with such ferocity as if the money went from her pocket.
I came to know later from somebody what made her what she was and why she was interested in digging the truth and perhaps some hostel mate’s grave.

It seems she was married to somebody a few years back. The guy fought with her brothers over dowry. Somehow everything was sorted out and she was married to him. After the marriage that night, he announced he had married her just to insult her brothers and relatives and to take revenge on them. Don’t know if he had lusted too but she had walked out the same night from his house.

Glad atleast her family supported her in this case. She left her town and was working in Bangalore. We have seen it in movies. Prem Chopra acting the part in style but it does surprise me no end to know that there are breathing living people like that. She only knows what she has gone through to come away from home or to wait for another 6 years to get the right guy, as the term "Innocent divorcee" often triggers some other thoughts in our society. I had laughed too, reading this term in some matrimonial columns and asked my friends why are all divorcees innocent? Haven’t you ever done it? Not because you feel they are second class citizens or you are biased against them.
She is married now happily to someone much more deserving and I am happy for her.
Events like this challenge your belief in the goodness of people and human bondings but every individual finds the strength to rise up in times of crisis from within. Heroes are in us and I feel we should still belief in people for our own good. It’s about the choices we make that separates the good from the (d)evil.
Even Hitler was born a child.

22 comments:

despiteme said...

Neither party is innocent nor guilty in divorce. Its all a question of choices and decisions one makes in a given situation or circumstance. There is no right and wrong choice or decision. Only right for you at that moment...and time will tell whether it was right for you in the end.

And NO i a not divorced LOL..but then one has to first get married to then divorce...so i made the wiser choice?

Braveheart said...

A very smart conclusion Arunima. I appreciate it. The difference is what is crucial and understanding this, makes decision-making easier for you.

Akshaya

Akruti said...

I can just not put in words how it makes one feel to hear the word,a divorcee,a single parent,and when u r friends ask u,what's u r dad,and the blank looks i gave,hmm,i couldn spell the word divorce by then,but now too,i cannot spell it,not literal meaning but then i still give blank looks when they ask me abt family,so strange na,we make choices but then every choice seems to have if's and buts,nothing is complete,its like " in a given situation what is good or bad" we go according to that,but then it is not a complete decision.
i dont know,i think i am not making any sense,nice post arunima,keep going.

s! said...

yes, life does seem to be a very exacting teacher.

Surinder said...

love the last lines .. Heroes are in us and I feel we should still belief in people for our own good. It’s about the choices we make that separates the good from the (d)evil....

life shows us a lot .. :)

shub said...

ditto as surinder :)
very well written....
and we learn from these everyday , unheralded heroes we meet....to live

Stone said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Stone said...

Beautiful last lines.
Yes, without doubt heros are within us, people are lot more finer at heart than they dare to admit.
At the same time, this 'innocent' funda is bit over-rated.

manuscrypts said...

"there is some evil in every good man and some good in every evil man"

Manish said...

Well, all very well said by you. Divorcee or no Divorcee, honesty is the best policy. At the same time Divorcee do not have horns on their head. They are all humans, captive of situations. Those who can get over it, live a great life. Others go into deep pit.

Good post, Arunima. How well you write!

shobz said...

a wonderful thought. something that we don't give much of a thought to otherwise. we laugh at things, at terms coined. we laugh because we want to be party. we have no conviction when we laugh. that's not what we truly mean. true hitler was born a baby.

Pallavi said...

hmmm circumstances making the man.. happens... a person is not evil by nature.. though exceptions are there.. reminds me of the movie Vanity Fair... you should watch it :)

Anonymous said...

Very well written post. I kinda agree with your conclusion. Even though its very easy to preach to not let things like this affect your personality but it surely does for people who have to go through it.

~Puneet

Deepak Jeswal said...

Nice Post!

It is a misconception that only divorced ladies have to face societal stigma or derision or whatever you want to call it. Men do face it, though at a smaller level...but face they do!

Anonymous said...

Very well written.

- Bobby

Anonymous said...

What did the 1st paragraph have to do with the rest of the post? Honestly .. I tried but found no connection.

- anya http://www.animaha.com/blog

Abhilash said...

aru? dint know u were into blogging.

Pallavi said...

babe you just need to refresh when you cannot comment :) in my page !!

Anonymous said...

Great post :)

Amol Hatwar
http://hatwar.org/epilogue

divya said...

a great post..
brings us face to face with the realities of life..

Arunima said...

busy is not an excuse, i am sorry for not being able to exchange ideas and debate here. thanks a lot new readers. I am seeing many here and the old ones, you people make me never give up no matter how busy and boring work and life is .

Crush said...

that was a touching incident...my best wishes for your friend.

agree with the conclusions you made in last lines. want to take it further to comment on belief of god, devil and man??

by the way...nice name 'Silent Eloquence' ...really liked it!

keep writing