Wednesday, August 27, 2008

ankita and her grandpa

Ankita comes home from school and quickly does her homework. Hears someone open the gate. Runs to the balcony to check if it is my dad, her grandpa. It is her grandpa indeed. Screams at the top of her voice.

Ankita: Grandpa, where are you going? You have to take me to the swimming pool.
Dad: yes, I am just coming back in two minutes.
Ankita: I am going to finish my homework. Come back soon.
Dad: ok, now go inside.
Ankita: You must get Kurkure and Appy for me then.
Dad: You never forget that. The worms have eaten your teeth away and you still want to eat all the junk.

After some time, dad comes home. Ankita has finished her homework and insists that she wear her swim suit. She doesn’t want to waste time changing it in the pool is her logic, though we believe that what she wanted to do is show off to her friends in the neighborhood as dad drives her off. Her mom has packed her normal wear in a bag. Ankita searches for dad and finds him in the rest room.

Ankita: Grandpa, what are you doing in the rest room? (At the top of her voice)
Dad: (Doesn’t reply)
Ankita: Tell me, are you sh!tt!ng? (The exact translation in my language at the top of her voice)
Dad: Doesn’t reply.
Ankita: Grandpa, why are you sh!tt!ng for so long?
Dad: (Comes out and screams at her.) Yes, I was. You don’t even let me do it in peace.
Ankita: Does anybody do that for so long? Come now and take me to the swimming pool.

Both of them fight and dad takes her to the pool.
Ankita: (On the way out) Did you get what I asked you to get?


C, S and i met up over the weekend. Ok, a little history about us. We were team mates. C has joined another organization. i have moved to another team and S is still in the same team. So, we had fodder for gossip about my new team, C's new team and our old team.
i updated about this to our ex-Manager who has also joined another organization. She said,"may i know why V (another team mate) is not invited?" Very honestly i replied,"whom should we gossip about then?"

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


"Well, fuck you, too. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in caf├ęs, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Worldcom! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, J! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass! Fuck Jacob Elinsky, whining malcontent. Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass. Fuck Naturelle Riviera, I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me up the river, fucking bitch. Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar sipping on club sodas, selling whisky to firemen, cheering the Bronx bombers. Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row-houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to fucking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place.
No. No, fuckyou, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all, and you threw it away, you dumb fuck!”
~ Montgomery Brogan in 25th Hour. (did not read the book but watched the movie)