Tuesday, December 26, 2006
the local bakery, a luxury.
5 girls in an auto to the nearest cinema hall
popcorn, coke and the total divided by 5 to the last 50 paise.
waiting for calls from home between 7 to 9.30 pm
and for money every month with a short note from dad to study well and to use money prudently.
girls on the steps
applying henna on each other and all kinds of face packs.
burning the midnight oil and feeling hungry
dinner being served too early.
sneaking into friends’ rooms with a torch after the curfew hours
searching for food.
trying to bring everything from home during vacations,
needle to pen and a lot of eatables.
attacking the supply of foods of friends
who visit home frequently.
counting the days to go home
only 74 days left to go home
washing clothes every weekend on the stone slabs
singing the latest hits at the top of our voices.
perfecting the art of mango plucking and
the escape from the warden
stealing vegetables from the garden
and cooking it using candles.
maggie, soaked it hot water
wai-wai straight from the pack.
christmas secret friends and
small notes to her with the left hand.
sharing a room with two more people
yet respecting their space.
accepting people from different places,
languages and habits.
going to barista and coffee day outlets once in a blue moon
and feeling cool.
walkman and audio cassettes
rewind and forward with a reynolds pen to save battery.
reading MBs in candlelight
sleeping off while waiting for the love scene
waking up to see my bed on fire
going panicky and waking up roomie in the lower bunk
pouring water, dipping the pillow in the sink to put the fire off
calling friends from other rooms and sharing the tragedy
laughing out loud on seeing the thrid room mate blissfully asleep amidst all the commotion.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
The pulse and push of normal life I say!
Had a wonderful time at Pune. R received me with a hug after waiting for one and a half hours in the place we had decided to meet after my work. The first comment was that I have lost a lot of weight, which I have been hearing from all school mates who haven’t seen me for a couple of years. ‘Chubby’ is a much better word (betterest) to disguise the fat ass that I was in school.
Caught up with the lost years. We had changed so much yet we were the same old buddies who had spent 12 years together in school and many hours over the phone discussing what we did at school after coming home. When time and space has moulded us to be the persons that we are today, realizing that we are still the same was a pleasure and so much of pride for me. I had started feeling terribly lonely in Bangalore with most of my female friends here, married and busy with their lives. All my roommates have gone too (another post) that I wondered if I have a problem bonding with females.
Me and R went on yapping through the night and did not forget to bitch about some girls in school. Sometimes, being a bitch is a good thing for a woman to hold on to. Now, this is a copied sentence and being at it, let me talk about the movie, Dolores Claiborne. It is based on the book with the same title by Stephen King and hence, has lovely dialogues.
The story goes by this line,”Sometimes an accident can be an unhappy woman’s best friend.” It is about a woman’s determination and endurance to save her child and live life according to her terms. Jennifer, a successful reporter comes home to meet her mother after 15 years when her mother gets convicted for murdering her employer. This brings back many memories that she had shut herself from.
Very good acting by Kathy Bates and Jennifer Jason Leigh though I call it a Kathy Bates’ movie. (I don’t know the other actors).
[Vera, her employer is not letting Dolores change her soiled sheets]
Dolores: Vera, are ya gonna sit there and marinade in it? Come on!
Vera: [Vera is ringing a bell] Doloooress!...
Dolores: Hells bells. Look who's up.
Vera: I am going to die.
Dolores: That will make this world less of one stinky woman.
Vera: We live in a depressingly masculine world. Everyday, husbands die - rich husbands; while they were coming back home to their wives after being with their mistresses. Sometimes Delores, an accident can be an unhappy womans best friend. Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive.
Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.
The last line was aptly used three times in the movie.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Have not met her for almost 5 yrs now and I am really looking forward to it. Hope she doesn’t rub her oldness to me and I come back still feeling young and not thinking about my date of manufacture.
Having said that, I read this book called ‘The woman who gave birth to her mother’ by Kim Chernin. Well, women are a complex lot and therefore, we have subjects like ‘women studies’ to confuse people more. This is one of those books. There are about 11 case studies. This is not a bestseller material or a book that stays with you but gives a lot of insight to the relationship between women, mother and daughter specially. These women come and share their stories with the author on how their childhood shaped them to be the woman and the mother that they are today. The stories explore the elements of idealism, guilt, blame, forgiveness and finally of letting go in the mother-daughter relationship.
Parallels can be drawn as our childhood sometimes, shapes our mindset on many things. But it needn’t be mother-daughter all the time. The author also talks about role reversals when the daughter starts to care for the ageing mom.
I was just thinking about my mom when I read this and what I can remember is that, me and sis often, got either yellow or blue dresses until we found the joy of standing in front of the mirror or reached our teens so to say, and started selecting our own dresses. Sometimes, it used to be the same pattern. If I would wear blue, sis would wear the yellow version and vice-versa. I used to pick up sis’ old clothes sometimes. Imagine growing up to wear the yellow or the blue version of what you wore last year!
No, mom is not related to Hitler and she is not boring. She is very proud of me though all she wants me to do is buy gold.
Coming back, to the topic, I’ll be in Pune this Friday.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Shahrukh Khan declared that he is going to retire after Don. My happiness knew no bounds and I smiled from ear to ear. Then, my room mate woke me up.
Now, listen to this. I can say, I have the extra sensory perception of translating dreams. My dreams had in fact, told me something that was coming.
Mom called me up and we started talking about my little nephew. It seems the pundit had told them when my nephew was born that his name should start with D. (can you relate to the dream now? Don=D? ).
I had suggested some names but they had declined. Now, after thinking for almost a year, it seems mom has decided to name him Donaldo. Holy Mary, mother of Christ!! I asked why? And mom replied, like the famous Ronaldo and Rivaldo, he will be Donaldo.
I don’t know how my always-sleeping-in-front-of-the-tv mom suddenly started following football. I protested and quarreled. But now, it seems I have no support. Big brother and sis-in-law are not saying anything. All this while, they have been rejecting the names I had suggested, by saying that it’s not unique, it is too short and hazaar other reasons. At home he is Abungo, a name which is as unique as ‘Munna’ in Hindi.
Donaldo!!! My poor nephew can’t even protest. All he can say now is Mama ma ma Pa pa pa and sometimes me me me me. I will be going home end of Jan and I am going to start the ‘nephew bachao andolan.’
Coming back to my dream, Shahrukh khan had acted as a football player in KANK. Now, can you see the connection? (shahrukh=Don=D=KANK=football=Ronaldo=Rivaldo=Donaldo?)
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
I went back to my friend and asked her if she knew the meaning. She also did not know but she found out the meaning from someone and told me. That day, one important word was added to my vocabulary. The word, which later took the place of all the eight parts of speech when I joined hostel. (A convent)
So, I asked J the same question. When did she hear or know the meaning of this word? She replied, 2nd PU. Haha, she is foreign bred and all that and she didn’t know. I had laughed like crazy that she warned me not to let people know, she knew it only in second year PU.
So, when was your first encounter?
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
“Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. “ - Calvin.
Attended a lousy interview. I was not sure whether I wanted a change. Nevertheless, out of habit I had updated my CV in one of the portals. Bang, called a consultant and there I went.
It was the final round and a grilling one at that. Two guys interviewed me. There were a lot of hypothetical situations, which seldom happen in a real work scenario.
The argument went on for long. I could sense, I was not wanted and a lot of shit happened. Was upset with myself for sitting through it like a lamb. I mean I still like the trees around my present organization; I like the color of my cubicle and I can still stand my colleagues. I don’t need a change and I could have given back crap for crap to them. I managed to say finally that I have never come across such situations perhaps because we are very well organized.
$%^&! (Inserted word to make the disappointment easier to take).
I have been mourning something too. It was on the Eid festival. Last year, our neighbor gave us Biryani after we started cooking dinner and we had to throw just after tasting. Being wiser this year, we planned to cook late. The aroma had started coming from the afternoon itself and we waited in eager anticipation.
And how biryani smells!!!
3,4, 5 and finally it was 9 pm with no sign of any Biryani. I thought the principle of Id was to share with the hungry (us). I cooked chicken biryani that Saturday and finally overcame the sadness.
Watched some very good movies. One of them was What's Eating Gilbert Grape. Johnny Depp plays the big brother of Leonardo DiCaprio, a mentally challenged boy. I watched this movie for Johnny Depp but actually liked Caprio’s acting a lot. I have watched 4 or 5 of his movies so far and have liked all of them.
To end this post, the son of the CM of Karnataka was infact at home and it was not even his friend who broke the window panes. It was a lady who was in the guise of a man. (was expecting this too). Our boy comes from a humble farmers’ family. He drives a Lancer, Porsche and what not? So many farmers have been committing suicide. Now, the million-dollar question is:
"What is Gowda's family farming?"
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
It was a big day for them and for me too. The young girls wore flowers on their hair - Jasmine and roses, along with the school ribbons. Some of them wore jewellery above their shirt collars. Girls! Even when the uniforms are faded and not ironed properly, a rose in the hair and a shining stuff around our necks gives us the confidence to take on the world. Almost all of them did not wear shoes except for those in the higher classes.
Was involved in a medical Camp in rural Bangalore for children. There were lots of them, in fact much more than we had anticipated, all poor and many ill. Children to my right, children to my left, children children everywhere. I was not prepared for such enormity in the number but the experience was very fulfilling in terms of actually witnessing life beyond IT, the sheer ubiquity of poverty and the awful contrast to the lives of some in the city a few kilometers away.
It was an eye-opener to the population figure of our country and what it could mean. So far, it had only been statistics, ______ no. of children do not have access to medical facilities, _____ no. of children drop out of school by _____ age.
Many of them suffered from jaundice. The teacher said the parents knew but did nothing. There was a 9 yr old, who was deaf but neither the teachers nor his parents knew about it. Everyone including us were stunned when the medical check-up revealed this. There was this little one, who was physically disabled, launching himself in a shuddering gait to measure his weight, and another 6 yr old, who cried as he was scared to climb on the weighing machine, having never seen one. They were all there; the smart ones, the silent ones, the cute ones, and the naughty ones.
If some director has spotted a muse from a newspaper; she was my Yamini- Deepika, 8th standard, sitting poised among her classmates.
We hear so much about children these days and how parents send them for piano, painting, Shiamak Davars, Bharatnatyam classes and what have yous? They don’t have time to be themselves; they don’t have time for bruises on their knees. They need to know verses and lines from Milton and Shakespeare, to enter an LKG. When they get 98%, parents ask them where has the other 2 % gone. These are children of our times and those were children of our times too - waiting eagerly for the medical proceedings to get over just to claim their share of eatables from us and run home.
The prescription, and the medicines really didn’t matter.
Well, I was out from 6 in the morning and then back by 7.30 pm. Thought I would sleep early or indulge in one of those unashamed escapism of Bollywood movies, but watched I am Sam. I don’t know if it was the whole experience of the day or just me. I was so moved by the movie that I cried until my head ached.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
I think of the times
When you were still mine
And I’m blue
Got to get away
Get you out of my mind
I’m caught up in time
And I’m blue”
Teaching myself to consider some mails and ids as spam.
Teaching myself to wake up and smell the cofee or perhaps, some vodka
Teaching myself to uncare, unfeel, unhear or unlive the past.
Teaching myself to Grow Up.
Monday, September 18, 2006
So, here goes my me me and only me.
I am thinking about.. many things. If I should start doing what I actually do once I complete 3 or 4 months in an organization - attend interviews. About the demo I need to give, the conference call later. To prepare fish cutlet or fish fry though I know I’ll end up cooking chicken as I eat chicken when I am sad or when I am happy, whether to paint my nails pink or any other colour or to pick up a fight with roomie if I don’t want to cook.
I said...Emraan Hasmi triggers a hormone in me. The hormone shootrophine, responsible for inducing feelings like shooting down a person.
I want to... shake my bon bon. Jokes apart, I want to settle in the country post retirement.
I wish...I could remove snakes from the planet even if they were Sridevis in disguise.
I hear…songs which I hate, ringing in my ears. It often happens that I don’t want to hum it but it comes automatically. Can you imagine somebody humming "Bholi bhaali ladki, khol teri dilki pyar waali khidki ho ho ho” every 15 minutes?
I wonder...if God created me with second-hand parts. I have been visiting the doctor for one part after the other. Health problems which do not kill but problems nevertheless.
I regret...not many things. Learnt from my mistakes. I have taken enough risk in life with my career and also for love.
I am...a veryyyy nice person. I am sorry if your perception was/is wrong.
I dance… the Manipuri folk and classical dances, a little bit of Meregue, Cha cha cha, Salsa, Jive and bollywood jhatka-matkas. I also dance like Mithun and Govinda. I specialise in the number,”I am a disco dancer’ and I don’t care whether my hips lie or not.
I sing...fairly well. Won some competions which I only know of. I threaten my colleagues that I will start singing if they do not play the music and they oblige without a second thought. Nobody appreciates talent these days. When the country has gone crazy after Himesh crooning ‘e Hazooonnrrrrr’, what can I expect?
I cry...Easily. Sometimes, for people who care too little and I cry buckets if I please.
I am not always...moody, crying or bitching. I am quite a cheerful and a positive person.
I make with my hands... paper planes, boats, my bed, my hair, my destiny. I also make people relax as I give good massage with my hands. (Learnt from friends in hostel). I am sure I can make love too.
I write... here to fume, frown, for fun and frolic.
I confuse...myself over silly things and confuse others with my confusion.
I need ... to be needed, to be treasured, to be wanted and of course good sleep.
And finally... (will link up the URLs later)
vanguard leading a new life
Let us make some more noise.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
There were no big stars in this movie and it made it all the more realistsic. Based upon the recordings in the pilot cabin and the calls made by the passengers aboard the doomed United Flight 93, one of the planes hijacked on September 11, 2001, the director, Paul Greengrass tries to create what could have possibly happened inside the plane on that fateful day.
To me it did not appear as a movie but something happening real time. It was so gripping. The unpreparedness of the personells, the confusions, the harrowing experiences and the shock at the control rooms as they see one hijacked plane crash after the other and of course the humanism and the heroic efforts and the sacrifice of the passengers on board when they folied the plan of the terrorists.
The theatre was packed and we were all pin-drop silent. Unfortunately, my health gave way and I couldn’t watch the last bit as I had been throwing up due to severe headches the past week.
Even now, I can’t help wondering somebody actually did that to America and Osama is still believed to be alive.
Monday, September 04, 2006
I had fever because I was stressed and I was stressed because I have been sleeping in the training room with my eyes wide open for 4-5 hours a day the past 3 weeks. I am planning to break my own record if I get another opportunity to attend another training hoping next time it would be a month long one.
Why attend the training? You know and I know that at appraisal time, I cannot say I have been blogging actively and participating in online debates. Now, having attended all these tranings, I can wax eloquent in team meetings or even in the washroom if I chance upon my Manager.
Anyways, I am back to health, work and ofcourse, blogging.
Somehow I was missing my little niece too. Been looking at her snaps. She is a lovely child.
At Salsa classes: AXE and Addidas are the most common deos among men.
After watching KANK: Karan Johar is gay. Only a gay can believe in that story.
Monday, August 28, 2006
How do you do that?
I help them start bleeding again.
Don’t you feel that it is wrong?
And for how long have you been doing this?
I don’t remember. A long time.
Around 10, 20 years? 20 years?
Mrs. Vera Drake, do you know it is a severe crime to conduct abortions?
How much were you paid?
No dear, I never took any money. I just helped them.”
This was the main theme and the most moving scene in the highly acclaimed movie (critics), Vera Drake. Her helplessness and fear of seeing her world fall apart as the severity of the crime in the eyes of the law (which has been a noble act on her part) sinks into her is done immensely well.
Based on 1950s England. Vera (Imelda Stuanton) is a middle-aged lady who is really compasionate about others and is often seen humming as she cleans and scrubs as a domestic help in many households. She has a very loving life partner in her husband who is a mechanic and two children and they lead a very modest lifestyle.
She looks after her mom and paralysed neighbour. She also conducts abortions of young girls who could not or does not want to go through legitimate channels by local procedures.
One fine evening as she was partying with her family for her daughter’s engagement, the police march in. One of the girls, whom she had helped had complications and was admitted to the hospital brining law into the picture.
The setting is really subtle and the pace of the movie is slow with the protagonist in almost all the frames.
Not for Pepsi-Cola-drinking, Pop-corn-eating, designer-wear-loving, beautiful-bods-on-screen-liking audience. e.g: KANK [because I haven't watched it, :-) I am making fun of those who did]
The movie changes your mood and gets you involved.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Well, I like challenges, challenges that make me laugh at the other person actually. I was asked to stop blogging by some people because they could not digest what I wrote. Today, I am planning to write a fat-free post but while at it, Mr. ex asked me to blog somewhere else with a different ID. His lady of the moment, reads my blog too. I wanted to say, why don’t you change your name, leave the country or leave the world? I am too hurt you see?
Whoever said, “You shouldn’t date someone who reads your blog”, said it so right. I replied very lovingly ‘Eff off!”. It is still in my Sent folder for sweet memories. Firstly, you dump me and then you tell me what not to do. And please, don’t even talk anything about her. She might be Angelina Jolie to you (which, I know she is not. Don’t be happy simply) but to me, she is a B@#$%. I don’t need to see her. I have already decided.
My dear reader Mungeri, you commented in my last post that I sound pretty dumped. How could you say that? What’s so pretty about being dumped? It was actually miserable.
Now, I had decided that I would be cutting cost in July as I had been traveling a lot in the month of June. I was keeping up my words but truth came marching on my face on the 30th of July. It was a Sunday and there was a SALE at Bangalore Central. I bought two pairs of sandals/slippers, white and blue. Now, I need to buy matching dresses and bags.
I was very angry and pissed with myself that I went back again over the weekend, to shop. The garment I wanted had no discount on it so I bought some more with discounts to cover up my guilt. I had my two-minutes of glory in front of the mirror and I hate SALEs. They are just marketing strategies to trap innocent citizens like me. Next time, I see SALE written on any newspaper, I am not going to use it as toilet paper but I am going to sleep.
Now, there is the India International Salsa Congress happening at Bangalore. I’ll be going with some of my colleagues for the Grand Finale at Leela on 18th. Question is again, what do I wear? We are not those regular party people and I have just one salsa skirt, which I have worn 2 times out of the three parties that I attended. I pity the celebrities when I think about dresses. Imagine the amount of agony they must be going through whenever they have to attend a party.
It has been rainy and on days like this, some of you might be feeling romantic and all that. I feel it too sometimes. Thing is that, today I happen to be concerned about tomatoes. Have you noticed that the price fluctuates between 22 and 5 Rs per kg. because of the rain? (In Bangalore). I even tell my roomy that her mood fluctuates like the price of tomatoes.
Yes, I am blogging from home very soon now that I know I am not shifting out. Airtel said they would take one month to get it done. Went for Tata Indicom. They showed me the cable and the router and wham, they have gone vanishing.
We’ve been calling up the customer care everyday for the past two weeks now with loved-filled adjectives.
Once it gets done, fellow bloggers, every move you make, every breath you take, I’ll be watching you.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Will you get me right out of this Godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?
Will you hold me sacred?
Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?
Will you make me some magic, with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will ya hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?
After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll say is that it's time to move on
I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
And sooner or later, you'll be screwing around. "
This is the part which I like best in the song, "I'd do anything for love"
Friday, July 28, 2006
Another colleague says her spouse also works at night and they get to be with each other only over the weekend. They have two kids together and are put up in a posh apartment close by. She said it becomes tough at times to handle the kids.
Work has been pouring with hailstones. I don’t know when was the last time I saw the sun set on a working day. Yet, there are colleagues in other buildings and departments complaining that I come later and leave earlier, which is 8 pm. Lifestyles seem to be changing. Like we always say, times are a changing.
All of us are ambitious and end up in compromising many things. The definition of ‘basic necessity’ seems to have changed- the T.V, the bigger T.V, the flat T.V. It is not like we don’t know. Now, ‘luxury’ is going home at 5.00 pm.
Thinking back, I am amazed that J and me had gone to watch ‘Hum Tum’ in a Cinema hall, which was not so near and came back at midnight in an auto. Once, we had also come back walking from Brigades after 10, eating chicken kebabs. We really thought it was fun then. Now, I avoid going out at nights.
Update: A 30 ml Pepper Spray costs 500 bucks.
Friday, July 21, 2006
I am trying to recollect with whom did I watch the first part ? Umm. Never mind.
I remember walking in when the movie had already started and wondering where I had seen Keira Knightley before. I remembered ‘Bend it like Beckham’ and only then, I started enjoying the movie. Thankfully, it was not in the climax.
In the sequel, Johnny Depp is gleefully over the top. There are characters worming their way in and out of dizzying plot complications. I was caught up in a fictive dream for the entire length of the movie. The shifting agendas and propelling motivations of the characters collide in a fantastic explosion. Some of the action sequences were brazenly preposterous fun, really creative and flourishes in all aspects of movie making.
Removed two paras as I myself slept off, the second time I read it.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
What I got is a lady whose every move is driven by her devotion for a man whom she has been dating and mating. Jelled hair, neat suits and a deadpan expression is all I get from her. She wears pants and smiles at Kay Kay that's all. The only thing I liked from her was this dialogue: “Dimaag uppar hota hain niche nahin.”
I liked Kay Kay and Lilette Dubey in the movie. The story revolves around two corporate giants in a tug of war and their unflinching determination to outdo each other leaving no room for moral codes or ethics. In all these, she becomes the pawn, which according to me has got nothing to do with her gender.
Madhur Bhandarkar tries to take the road not taken once more with this movie but too much of grey shades make it unpalatable. In the past, I have worked for an organization that dealt with a lot of Government Projects and there were talks (I said talks) of instances where certain people had to be bribed for certain projects or while bidding. Even then, I feel Bhandarkar has been too harsh.
Like Page 3, there are some nice dialogues between drivers. (Or were they admin staff?)
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Shub tagged me .
The Rules:-- Post six weird facts/habits about yourself.- At the bottom, name the six people you will tag next.- Leave them a comment to let them know they've been tagged and to read your blog.
Here they go:
1. I often sit looking at the lines of my hands. I know how the lines have changed over the years. I have got two new moles, one on the middle finger and another on the palm of my right hand very recently.
2. I always comment on the salt when someone else cooks. Roomie got pissed off and decided to get married leaving me.
3. I save the best for last while eating. The last morsel is what I want best. Esp. with egg curry.
4. I fell in and out of love with the same guy for many years. It was a killing habit. Working hard on this.
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”~Buckminster Fuller.
In short, get a new guy.
5. It started one day when I was watching T.V with dad. He concentrated on the T.V, I concentrated on one irritating beard on his chin and plucked it with my fingers. Then, it got transferred to boyfriend.
Picture this, boyfriend trying to be romantic, trying to catch my eyes and cuddly. Me, sitting upright and concentrating on one strand of beard, which is standing away and out of the rest. Plucked. Dumped. (Need to change my status in Orkut as Single again. ) I want clean shaven guys.
6. While cleaning the house, if I come across some articles, I start reading them up. Once it took me 5 hrs to clean my room.
And, Pallavi as I don't see you here nowadays.
Handa, as you have started blogging in Hindi. Before you start in Persian, Spanish...
Xeb, I am simply interested.
Burfi, as you often tag me.
Chandni, looks like you have done it. If so, kindly ignore.
You, if you are interested.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
But like the light after the long dark tunnel, like the rainbow after the rain, like the rain on the desert sand, like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and many such clichés, my time came too, to pay back to some people in kind.
For all the times, my eyes squinted trying to keep myself awake during such presentations,
For all the times, I acted interested and scribbled lines and lines of nonsense even though hand outs would be given by the end of the session.
For all the times, I took long breaths to avoid yawning openly,
For all the times, I asked boring questions just to establish the fundamental connectedness with my peers,
I decided I would not be Gandhi and sit through another presentation when I am slapped with one. Instead I would give back with another presentation, with power, presence and punch.
I sat and prepared another presentation with some other tool. I was the presenter and I did not stop there. I recorded and inserted my own voice as the narrator. Period.
Monday, June 26, 2006
The activity was called rappelling. The Instructors made it sound so easy as if we just had to mount and do it. Do it, as in climbing one by one and then coming down with the ropes and the equipments that hung on our waists. It was the second day of the training session and we had to get up early in the morning. To someone who is attuned to doing ‘Surya Namashkar’ facing west, it was a torture to actually get up and see the sun rise from the East and be on time for the activity.
We were 7 women and 15 men out of which, 2 women did not turn up due to long chat sessions in their room, 2 decided to cheer us pertaining to surgery-requiring boils in the hair. So, the modus operandi was that I had to be the first to take it up among women.
I am good at mind games and gossiping as a sport besides badminton. I remember trying to scale the Siroy Hills of Manipur. The Siroy Lily, being the only species in the world, and having read, heard and seen pictures of it, I wanted to witness the solemn beauty with my own eyes. It was a huge success with dad scaling 5 % of its height and shouting words of encouragement from below, “Come Down!!! Come Down!” I went a little more with some of the Junior Telecom Engineers and finally gave up. Dad somehow managed to find out from people that it was the off-season for the Lilies and would be a futile attempt to really go up there, a theory we eagerly bought.
With such a dazzling record behind me, I was set to repeat history again. I knew it was going to be no mean feat but up I went. Initially there were grasses all around but after sometime, I had to climb the rocks with no grasses to hold on to. The Tenzing Sherpa in me got scared. To add salt to my injury, I saw one of the instructors going up and down at least three times as I was still struggling. Panicky, but I managed to reach the top. I intended to wave at my colleagues below, especially to the womenfolk who would be following my steps as an indication that it was easy and I would be coming down with the ropes. I bursted out,” Whoa, I am scared. I cannot do it”, with tears.
I even insisted that one of my male colleagues come down with me, which was against the rule. I was listened to, with empathy but was denied.
The only escape route was the way down, rappelling. The first few steps were really scary. I was told to stand perpendicular to the rock, keep my legs apart, not to bend my knees and release the rope slowly and to take small steps. I was also ensured that even if I release the rope, I would be safe as I was secured with those things hanging on my waist. I clung to dear life and did as told but I held on to the rope, even the one I am supposed to release. The rope can take up to 2500 kgs the instructor said, but you never know, I am just 2455 kgs lesser and there is always a first time. The rope might just snap. I heard some of my colleagues firing instructions from below saying my posture was wrong, to release my hands etc. to which I replied gratefully, ”Shut up!!” at the top of my voice.
I slipped and shrieked and screamed but I reached safely. Rappelling is not a repelling activity after all.
Out in the wild, we went treasure hunting too solving clues. That was one of the most interesting activities. We were back in college, along with the Managers, learning and debating. I won’t elaborate more but I cannot miss this. We were asked to vote for someone who was the life of the training session and ehem!! I was voted. I got a book as a gift from the trainer written in her hand,” Your enthusiasm will carry you a long way.” Now, you know the purpose behind the post.
Even with all the noises around, the resort exuded a wonderful sense of calm.
Been to Uduppi to meet J and family too. She has come home for a few days. Apart from her wedding ring, nothing ever has changed. Chatted the whole day and went to a river near by. Savored the visual delights of the water and felt as though I had all the time in the world to enjoy its beauty. The rain interrupted as it had other plans.
Planning to visit Kerala and Coorg once more and also Pune.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
M – Ma/Motherhood: The epitome of love and sacrifice, comfort and peace in her laps. My confidante, my complain-box. My ego booster. My ultimate goal in life too.
M- Mary: There is something about Mary and I know the difference between Bloody Mary and Virgin Mary. Now that I know of Virgin Mary, we can do sex on the beach and many more things bottoms up and on the rocks. I don’t drink because I thunk about world peep. Hic!
M-Manipur: Home, food cooked by mom. It is where a dream was born. Yet, it is the place where the bullets rain, where bandhs are a norm, where we search for our brothers even in the morgues if they don’t come back home on time. Life ends by 7.30 pm. I still ache for this place. I miss it. It is the price I pay for independence. It is also where my dad drinks his pride morning and night. Somebody said so rightly; home is where the sad stories are.
M- Michael Jackson, Madonna: “ All I wanna say is that they don’t really care about us”, “Papa Don’t preach”. We were singing these songs even before we knew the joy of rebellion and grew up listening to them. Madonna still rocks. A person like my dad whose singing skills does not go beyond hmm hmm hmm also knows the moonwalker and the pop diva. I can proudly say, the rest of the world must surely be knowing them.
M- Mithai (sweets): To be romantic in desi style- My mithai! Amar Misti
M-Mumbai: The city, I once wanted to belong to. It had a charm about it. Still remember the sounds, the sights, the lights, the laughs…
Queen’s necklace, the gateway, Bandra, Marine Drive, Fun Republic, the dome and many more places. It was just a click, a ring or a flight away but Mumbai seem distant now.
Memories hit me, sometimes, they are welcome, and sometimes they are uninvited. The sunset near the beach, the breeze on my hair, holding hands, love letters in the sand, playing with kids and the comfort I had felt knowing that I was being watched by someone as if I had meant something. They say, “The tragedy of love is not death or separation. The tragedy is indifference. “ I died many times. I lost to this city my best friend through marriage, my love and a part of me forever.
M-Money: “It’s all about the money, it’s all about the dum dum de de de dum, I don’t think it’s funny.” It is not everything but it is many things. When I started working, I thought if I get so much before I turn 30, it is ok. I have crossed that and I still want more. Infact, much more.
M- Merilyn Monroe, Madhubala, Madhuri: All of you close your eyes and just say, ‘yes’.
M-Maradonna: He is the ultimate for me. Saw the black and white video clippings of his formative years and how he became one of the finest players of the world. I am not interested in the world cups anymore.
M-Michigan: The place where somebody whom I had hurt is there. I know I was wrong and I will always feel guilty. I have lost the trust of a friend and earned bad name as a woman. God is fair I say. I got back in parts for what I did.
M-Meghendra Sharma: Sanity Check. My only male childhood close friend left. He is handsome and one of the most eligible bachelors around and I am glad we have saved this relation by not getting involved. But I have made him promise to marry me if I remain single at 33.
M-Meg Ryan in the movie “When Harry met Sally”: “He said it was transitional, not serious blah blah blah… I thought he didn’t want to be married but the fact is, he didn’t want to marry me. He didn’t love me. “ I have watched this movie many times and every time I cry, wail, howl with her.
M- My Arunima: When somebody who loves me says it with conviction and confidence, I know I can believe in tomorrow.
This post also features at DesiPundit. Thanks!!!
Monday, June 12, 2006
O blady, o blada, o bladoo, life goes on…
Sat and watched the video clip that I had recorded on the farewell party of J.
Sat and watched the video clip that I had recorded on the last day with roomie.
She had danced wearing a dupatta and Shikari Sambhu (Tinkle comics fame) shorts.
The other roomie is going back to her country or to another foreign land.
Come August and I will be looking for a new roommate or a new accommodation.
You meet someone, you know each other, you start liking and then you part.
O blady, o blada, o bladoo, life goes on…
Friday, June 02, 2006
It was a much-awaited movie and I knew no one else but Tommy would suit the role of Professor Langdon. I watched it post dinner. Not that it was heavy, 15 minutes into it and I slept like a princess
The next morning, fresh air and all, I tried to watch it and lo! I saw dear dear Tom all over my small screen. Started thinking why is his face too big and that he has even got freckles. If the camera had focused on his face longer, I would have started counting the lines on his face. Once in a while he looked interested as if saying to himself, “Oh hell, I am on camera and I got to be acting”. The fact is, I was distracted and I blame it on the movie. My mind wouldn’t have wandered and pondered on such trivialities had it been interesting.
I read the book even before it became a rage. I mean, I acted as if I had never heard about it from any other blogger by simply not commenting on any such blogs. So, there I was one of the earliest, who read the book and it was always a curiosity to know how could such a book be made into a movie, which would run for just a few hours?
Well, well, well on the positive side, the makers have tried to include everything within the limited time frame and done as much justice as possible but the thinking process, the solving of the puzzles couldn’t be captured as lively as the book.
Read it on the papers that teens are saddened by the fact that they cannot watch it on the theatres as it is ‘A’ certified. It is their parents’ money and they are bound to be saddened. Obviously!!
Had I watched it in a theatre, even I would have really praised the movie and brushed away any bad opinions shared by friends by saying, ”you don’t know how to watch a serious movie” simply because I would have paid 150 bucks.
I have always admired Tom as one of the most versatile actors and I have liked most of his movies but this time, all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men, could not put my interest back again.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Damn you Mills and Boons!! Because of you I missed out on reading many good books and you left me with a screwed up idea of Mr. Right.
Here is the list:
Catcher in the rye- J.D Salinger (yeah Handa , I have finally done it. I’ll die with the knowledge of who Holden is. I think I’ll reach heaven.)
The kite runner - Khaled Hosseini
Siddhartha- Hermann Hesse
The bird song-Sebastian Faulks
The unbearable lightness of being- Milan Kundera
The best of Roald Dahl (considered to be Roald Dahl at his sinister best. It is a collection of short stories.)
Also read some books, which were banned. I’ll write about them some other time.
Had the time of my life being lazy, reading, watching movies, bowling. I also went to the ISKCON temple. Unemployment is directly proportional to devotion. Then, it was party time with friends.
“Strawberries cherries and an angel´s kiss in spring My summer wine is really made from all these things I walked in town on silver spurs that jingled to A song that I had only sang to just a few She saw my silver spurs and said lets pass some time And I will give to you summer wine Ohh-oh-oh summer wine”
Got a brand new job, brand new salary package, brand new dress (es), brand new Airtel connection (goodbye 9886100834). Somebody, give me a brand new heart.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Livin my life in a slow hell
Different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sunshine
In three damn days
Been fuelin'up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways
I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her
I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone knows but they won't tell
But their half-hearted smiles tell me somethin' just ain't right
I've been waitin' on you for a long time
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights
I put your picture away
I wonder where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him
I saw you yesterday with an old friend (Sheryl Crow)
It was the same old same how've you been? (Kid Rock)
Since you've been gone my worlds been dark and grey (Together)
You reminded me of brighter days (Kid Rock)
I hoped you were comin' home to stay (Sheryl Crow)
I was headed to church (Sheryl Crow)
I was off to drink you away (Kid Rock)
I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this way
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I just called to say I love you, come back home.
I have even taken the pain of coloring the lyrics, don't say you didn't like the song.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Now, the fact that I did not attempt the IIT’s entrance test in my time is for a very noble cause. I did not want my parents and relatives to die of surprise. Very noble indeed! nai?
Now, that doesn’t mean I respect all IITians. I know someone who doesn’t have any net etiquette and who even after a PhD or GhD or some D acquired so much of sense called the nonsense that he even tried to ‘mitti me millao’ my name.
Anyway, that is history and I am still unfazed.
What I am trying to say is that I have perfected the art of attending interviews. It is all about sharing experiences you see. With a track record of changing the job every 3 to 6 months, you can guess how good I am at this art. Some of them didn’t know that I already know what they are going to ask, ”Why are you looking for a change?” I wanted to say the question has leaked but kept it to myself.
Obviously, you can’t say, ”I was told to go” so you have to spice it up and say as if you were the most priced employee of the organization and salary is not at all your main concern and that you are keen to contribute to this organization until retirement, which may be another six months according to you.
I have finally joined another organization where the lunch is free. I am planning to highlight this in my resume as my objective too. “To work for a progressive organization where lunch is free”
I was asked why I left Tenenbaum? Tenenbaum bombed my sanity, there was nothing to see in C, my pointers were not pointing. Fourier’s series left me frosted, Physics psyched me up and the University passed me because they were scared my registration number would become immortal if they don’t. I opted for Human Resource for further studies because I love human relations, which is proved by my boyfriend number 44.
I deserve the job because I am very good at the universal rule of Cut, Copy, Paste and I have a holistic approach to typing that is ‘seek and thou shall find’. I can type one word per minute even if the job doesn’t require any typing speed. I am just highlighting this as ‘awards and achievements’. Since I am good at all this, I can teach and train others or even write pages and pages on how to cut, copy and paste for their processes and applications to run. I pledge by Shakira and as you know, her hips don’t lie.
I am busy with the induction and training that my blog has been ignored. Readers, kindly leave your URLs so that I can follow you up. I belong to the minority in the blogging community and I do not support any RSS. I want my reservation of at least 200 readers per day. So what even if my content is of poor quality! Keep visiting.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Ironically, my roommate purchased the nail polish for her, as she happens to be a beauty advisor for some products. She overheard it from the kitchen and was feeling terrible. The lady is of our age. They married some 7 yrs back and have earned this 5 yr old certificate. I hope the innocent child doesn’t grow up to be like his dad, not being respectful to his mom and later to his wife.
There are certain unspoken rules between a couple and they honour the likes and dislikes of each other, all in love and goodwill but slapping your wife because she applied nail polish?
The man in question is just 28 or 29, supposed to be working in an MNC, well educated and … an asshole (my opinion). I thought guys of our generation were no more like him.
I remember a line from Arundhati’s ‘God of small things’. She had written something about a group of men in Kerala, who perform live on stage enacting the parts from the epics. The author had written something like this: “All of them will go and beat their wives by evening, even the flat chested man, who had acted as Sita.”
Then, there is this shopkeeper just opposite to our house. The old man is running the shop with his wife and daughter. His daughter is a little younger than us. He touched my hand once or twice as he took cash. I thought it was not deliberate but yesterday, my roommate told me, he has been doing it to her every time she paid. Now, I feel like strangling him. We have decided to embarrass him in front of his wife and daughter if he does it again. But then, he is a shameless idiot. I have seen him fight with many people in the area, screaming like a donkey at the top of his voice.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Lying on the settee, I began to miss J knowing she would have come if I said even if it was 50 degrees. It is a different thing that she would have complained the entire journey until we come back and make my life miserable but the point is, she would have come.
Lying on the settee, we began to talk about all the friends who got married some of whom are expecting and the dates we need to remember, their birthdays, anniversaries and now kids’ birthdays.
Lying on the settee, we discussed how nice it would be to eat raw mango with salt and red pepper powder.
Lying on the settee, we recollected a long drive with her fiancé and some friends and how we had admired the apartments in and around the city and the kaleidoscope of builders’ names displayed on them and discussed the market rates.
Lying on the settee, we discussed the second part of the instinct of the basic kinds and how S Stone portrayed the character perfectly and exchanged opinions on the absence of any MTv grind or any such thing and the desire to have the uncensored copies of many such movies not to feed voyeurism but to get into the skin of the characters.
Lying on the settee, we discussed a PYT who happened to be a guest for a few days with a tattoo and navel pierced and how we have earned the label ‘ex PYT’ on seeing such fresh bloods. We were saddened by the realization that perhaps we were never a PYT but an ’almost PYT’.
Lying on the settee, we spoke about walking on untamed grass in a valley with mulberry trees around, holding the hands of a special someone and let our respective thoughts wander awhile.
Lying on the settee, under the fan on a Bangalore afternoon, we played resigned-resigned, unemployed- unemployed.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
*Sitting in the back door and cutting my own nails. Almost 8 of my fingers bled. Mom got royal blasting from dad and grand mom for leaving me alone. (Don’t know what they were doing.)
*Throwing biscuits to feed birds on a pomegranate tree. In our ancestral home, there was a pomegranate tree and birds used to sit and sing. They sounded ”biscuit peeyo” meaning give me biscuit. Took my share of the biscuits (we are 4 siblings you see. Therefore, ‘my share’ and ‘your share’ had a lot of meaning) and threw it on the tree to feed the birds. I had these small star-shaped biscuits again last May after all these years at a friend’s place.
*Picking up the phone and saying, ”who is speaking?” and “thank you” to everybody. Sometimes, to the operator. In those days, you couldn’t dial the phones.
*Age 2 (Delhi)- Smiling at a lady who did not turn out to be mom. I had been following her thinking she was mommy.
*Age 2 and a half (Assam): Crying because one of the Aunts addressed mom as big brother’s mom. I wanted her to address mommy as my mom.
*Not being able to write A The top never joined.
*Taking flowers from home for Miss (teacher) and seniors taking them away the moment I sit in the auto. Learnt to say ‘no’ a long time later.
*Big brothers sharing a raincoat and giving me one to myself as they walked me to my pick-up point.
* Insisting mom to give me only a boiled egg for lunch. Sat down to eat it. Somebody suddenly dashed and there, went my boiled egg. Learnt to carry proper lunch.
* Singing nursery rhymes climbing on the sofa with actions to all my dad’s unsuspecting colleagues. How much of a torture it must have been! I am sure only my parents loved to hear them. “Found the pea na, eat the pea na, yes na” (peanut, eat the peanut, just now!!!)
*Carrying a wooden ruler home. Wrote my name on it and lied that teacher gave it. Big brother complained to mom. I couldn’t have that beautiful wooden ruler but I learnt not to desire what was not mine.
*Kindergarten- Sitting alone, waiting for dad.
Dad told me he would pick me up as he came back from the airport. I couldn’t concentrate the whole day. Informed all my friends. Class ended by 2.30 for primary sections and the entire school by 3.00 pm. I waited at first with some friends. Little by little, all went. Dad finally came at 4.00 pm. I was so happy to see him but nobody to show off to.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Anyway, I went to Orkut, accepted some requests. Is it possible to defriend (opposite of befriend) someone you added as a friend?
Changed the ‘relationship status’ in my profile to ‘committed’. How easy it was, just at the click of a mouse. At the click of the button, I can be single or even married.
At the click of a button, I want to forget many things.
Can technology really change things?
Click Click Click …
Thursday, April 06, 2006
~ Author Unknown
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Just as I was about to mail this idea to some of my friends what did I see? The banner of Shaadi.com. The caption read-“The smart way of getting married”. I thought there was a love way and an arranged away. Now, I know there is another way and that is the smart way. Though this is not what I wanted to post, anybody ready to play Shaadi.com? I am planning to Photoshop Spears and Hilton.
TOI never tires to show them even when all of us died crying foul. My shaadi.com avatar will be a hybrid of the two but with my hair do. In the Queen’s language I’ll write about myself,
“I declaration -I wants Husband”
Monday, April 03, 2006
“What is there in a name?” I often thought but you breathe life to it.
Like a sing song,
Like the secret song of the wild bees,
Like the sacred song of devotees,
Like the burps of an innocent child,
Like the sighs of a lover,
Now, there is nothing that I wish to hear other than you calling my name.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Thursday, March 16, 2006
What a thrilling sight it is, to see you stars
pulsating through the night
with your radiance
You take my sight
on a course
of its own
a gazing trap
Vast in your splendor,
you belittle me with the limitlessness
Petite I stand, but ask you this, just once
O beautiful ones, do you know how it is to desire?
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
She is turning 3 very soon.
She is toilet trained but it seems, she peed on the bed one day and woke up to a pool around her. She smiled suddenly realizing what has happened and then started kissing my sis all over saying, ”Aunty, I love you very much.”
Heard she has started attending school (baby class) and loves wearing the uniform so much that they have to coax her to remove her small bag or the uniform. Sis-in-law is the disciplinarian so, she goes to my mom for all her antics. She made my mom sit and say umm umm after every line that she utters. Mom thought it was over after she uttered umm umm to every line of Ding Dong Bell and was about to leave the room when Ankita asked her to change roles. Mom had to sing Ding Dong Bell and she sat on the bed, legs crossed and said umm umm.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Friday, March 10, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
"A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Well, it’s self appraisal day for me.
This post is for the men in my life who made me feel different and so special. For my dad, who never let any of my brothers raise a hand when I was at fault and for melting at a tear drop from me, for my brothers for being so protective about me and for being my chauffeur around town even giving up fun with their friends, for my male colleagues who have respected my presence in the corporate world, for the guys who wooed me with flowers, chocolates, coffees or wonderful emails and made me pick and choose among them, for the guys whom I have tried to impress and for whom I wanted to be the best person on earth, for those gentlemen who have opened doors for me, carried books and shopping bags, for letting me pass before them in a lift, for all my male friends, the knights in blue jeans and Tshirts, who dropped me back so that I could be successful in my mission, ”Escape from the warden” and reach my hostel on time even when they had errands to meet and for having listened to my gyan on women and dating, for my first love, for the guy who loved me but didn’t know what to do about it, for teaching me to give, for teaching me to cry, for teaching me to carry on.
For those who tried to misbehave or misbehaved, because of whom I have learnt to spew out expletives or even raise a hand. For one person who misbehaved, I have met many more who are ready to fight for me and this is also for the man who would be my partner for life someday as I am looking forward to it.
Each of you, make me feel glad that I was born a weaker sex or the fairer one. Each of you has made me realize that I don’t need muscles. Each of you has helped me realize my strengths and potentials.
To all the women and all the men who shares this spirit, Happy Women’s Day!!!
“Whatever you want
Whatever you need
Anything you want done baby
I’ll do it naturally
Cause I’m every woman
It’s all in me
It’s all in me
I can read your thoughts right now
Every one from a to z
I can cast a spell
Of secrets you can tell
Mix a special brew
Put fire inside of you
Anytime you feel danger or fear
Instantly I will appear, cause
I’m every woman
It’s all in me
Oh, I consent your needs
Like rain on to the seeds
I can make a rhyme
Of confusion in your mind
And when it comes down to some good old fashioned love
I got it
I got it, got, got it, baby, baby, baby
I ain’t braggin
Cause I’m the one
Just ask me
Ooh, and it shall be done
And don’t bother
To compareI got it
I’m every woman “
~ Whitney Houston
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Marked some IDs as spam. Thanks to all of you who left your comments and messages. Liked this line “One of the greatest source of energy is having pride in what you are doing”. Thank you John!!
I am not going to give in and I am not going to give up. Not so soon and not so easily and not at all for some nincompoops. (I am going to be that itch, which you cannot scratch. Ha Ha Ha devilish laughter)
While I took a short break, I read more, watched a lot of movies, roomie changed profession (another post) and I bought a new cell phone from Motorola. I had been using a PDA of a friend quite shamelessly with a touch screen and all the bleh bleh blah blah features and really struggled to sms with the new cell. It is mine, therefore, it is cute even if I couldn’t figure out the space button.
J’s birthday came and went again. She was crazy about the moon and always pointed it out to me. I often ran away saying, “you and your moon.” On her birthday, it drizzled slightly in the evening. I stood on the terrace and reminisced the days gone by searching for the moon who refused to show itself. I often witnessed her talk morning, noon and night to M over the phone and learnt that the successful way to hook a man is to talk, to talk some more and in fact, NEVER to STOP TALKING. See, she is married to him now.
Her brother has shifted and another family has moved in, bearing no semblance to them.
I was hit by a bike while crossing the road. Couldn’t get up immediately. Sat on the footpath for sometime. Later I crossed the road slowly and the tears started rolling down my cheeks as I waited for the office cab. It was embarrassing to cry in front of colleagues but what can you do when you don’t bleed (thankfully) but the left side of your body, the ankles, the knees ached so badly, and the skin went blue with rashes and your ass, should I say the precious rear end? Yes, the left one again felt as though it has grown bigger by two inches? I could even feel my heart pounding there.
The moral of the story: “Look towards your left and then to the right and again to the left before crossing the road and not after starting to cross if you want your heart to pound where it is supposed to be pounding”
Monday, March 06, 2006
Genuflection is what you wanted? I am down on my knees and lick what you hurled at your mercy. Yes, it is still my source of sustenance, my hacked, used and abused password. Did you enjoy the conquest? I know you cannot accept me weak and vulnerable. Worst still, can you live with the knowledge that the game is over?
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
My washing machine of the brand Arunima was in full swing over the weekend with bazooka power and I washed all my clothes. My biceps and triceps are coming out. I may (wo)manhandle some people who misbehave with me.
Reading The Memoirs of a Geisha. Reached pg no 200 and she hasn’t yet become a Geisha. I told my roomie that I’ll tell her the story and so, on Sunday, asked her to inform me once lunch is cooked and then to inform me once dinner was done. She did and now, she is waiting for the movie to release for her hafta wasooli (somebody translate this).
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I am still going through my share of make-ups and break-ups but I have learnt one thing through all this and that is, never to stop myself from the pleasure of loving someone.
Days like today, reinforces that thought and I have realised I wouldn't actually mind being the greatest fool for love.
Somebody did ask me, "Don't you like to belong to someone?"
I know I do.
In this spirit, here is a very girlie song from Sixpence None the Richer which I like for the rhythm and the energy.
“Kiss me out of the bearded barley.
Nightly, beside the green, green grass.
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step.
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.
oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight.
Lead me out on the moonlit floor.
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fire flies dance, silver moon's sparkling.
So kiss me.
Kiss me down by the broken tree house.
Swing me upon its hanging tire.
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat.
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map.”
J is off to Mauritius to moon some honey and I am planning on rock-climbing.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Watched Zinda too and I say in just one line, "Zinda Murdabaad!!" We will definitely win an oscar someday, for 'the best doctored movie'. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery? Not always. It is just what it is, an imitation. Let us do what we are good at doing, run around trees and not try to get serious with stolen concepts.
Some of the scenes were too violent. Apaharan had two very violent scenes though it was a real good movie and Zinda had one. I closed my eyes during these scenes.
Watched "Kalyug" too and I don't know how it is a hit. Ok, when we can put our politicians to power what is a movie? (I am talking like one of those pseudo-intellectuals who act as if the country's progress is on their minds and do nothing but point their fingers at the politicians. It is so easy to ape these people than to be a politician.)
The point is I haven't yet watched RDB, Rang De Basmati or whatever and now; I am going to act as if I am not interested. Like they say, "If you try once and fail, remove all evidences that you tried." So I never tried for the tickets for RDB and I heard it is a bad movie (even though very few people have this opinion) and I am not interested in watching it.
At work, I AM VERY VERY BUSY, pressing f5 to refresh the cricket score and voting, voting for a chair out of 9 chairs on display and voting out a bank for salary accounts. That's where my veto power ends. Work is Worship!!!!
Last but not least, my well tended middle finger (it has even got 2 moles) at the person who has been faking ids and commenting on my blog. Eff Off!!!
Monday, February 06, 2006
The quality that he liked most in her-maturity
The qualities that she liked most in him-caring and family oriented.
I had tears in my eyes as the MC announced this on behalf of the bride and the groom, and how they met as I had witnessed every step from day one. May they always remember what they first liked about each other!
J’s happily-ever-after has started. Wish her lots of love, happiness and may she also be blessed by Victoria’s secret! Amen.
M fell for her at first sight. He also dances well. Lucky bum!! The main highlight of the evening and the best one at that was when the couple danced in the centre of the circle formed by us. As the music ended, the groom lifted her in his arms and claimed her lips. I clapped and hooted to their first, I mean the first post-marital kiss :-) Ding Dong!! Are Baba Sing a song. Aaj ke Shaam, pyar ke naam !!
J looked as though she was humming a song in her heart,”My hubby strongest!!” for lifting her up so easily.
I danced like a true-blue Sai Baba devotee. Why Sai Baba? Because of my hair. My sister worships Him and with my hair all curly, I feel it is Prabhu’s calling. I may even join my sis for a Darshan at Puttaparthi, with due respect to all the religious phantoms, fanatics, Gods, God-like man or man-like Gods.
I haven’t attended many Christian weddings and I enjoyed it thoroughly. The blend between the Indian and the western culture made it more beautiful. J explained that the Konkani speaking Christians practice the tradition of tying the Mangalsutra along with the exchange of rings and vows. So, J too changed into a red saree in the later part of the evening, symbolizing the Indian bride.
The Manipuri wedding is totally different from other Indian weddings and is very beautiful. (Like a Bengali wedding is to a Bengali) I will share it with you all elaborately, each ritual, each step and their significance when I tie the knot. You just need to do a small thing and that is read my blog. Cheap publicity, so be it.
As the evening progressed and the music changed, I saw her dad cry. I joined him.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream your hearts longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk being a fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or if you have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own; without moving to hide it or jade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own;
if you dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers
and toes without cautioning us to be careful be realistic, or to remember the limitation of being human.
It doesn't interest me to know if the story you're telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from Gods presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver moon, "YES!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't interest me to know who you are, how you came here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
-- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Friday, January 20, 2006
Had been to Uduppi the week-end before to meet J. For the last time, I allowed her to order me around. It was terribly hot. Watched the news about the temperature in Delhi and wished I were there to experience it. Some things made me happy that I was where I was for instance, the sea foods - crabs, fishes and some more. Ate as if there was no tomorrow. Promised her folks that I would visit them again after she gets married.
Well, coming to the wedding and the psyche of the bride-to-be, what do I say? She has a tiffin box since her Qatar days and I sensed the sadness she felt in discarding it and its contents. Yes, the tiffin box of world-war-II make. She gave me a pair of green hair clips from the box and took the purple ones, those tiny ridiculous, funny but cute childhood assets. Boo hoo! Now, I want one of her ugly-looking childhood snaps too but I forgot to ask. We had quarreled the last time we shopped together and I had said, "I am getting rid of you very soon."
So many people and things to leave behind and so many memories to carry along, new relations, new hopes, new start, ... Guys, love and cherish your woman. You better do.
I am off to Mumbai tonight to attend her wedding on Sunday. The gown is ready and I got myself a pair of let-me-climb-down-first-as-I-need-to–think high heels and while I am on it, I am not going to entertain any tough questions like how old I am from anybody.
J was the first one to suggest I go for my medusa look so, I am glad I am attending her wedding with this hair style. Let her have a dose of my hair. Bangalore bloggers, behave while I am away.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Monday, January 16, 2006
This is Medusa pounding the keyboard. The lady had said it is going to last for six months. I feel suicidal.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Reading two very different books. One is by Prakash Singh, Retd. IPS officer and former DGP of UP and DG of BSF, on his experiences in the army and the fight with terrorism. Having posted in Assam, Nagaland, UP, Punjab and Kashmir in the wake of all the major upheavals in those areas as a task master, he gives a good first person account. He also highlights the difficulties faced by the army in trying to implement things while brushing shoulders with politicians and the decision makers. Anyway, he quotes a line used by Former Prime Minister P.V Narashimha Rao in his autobiography. “The decision not to take any decision is also a calculated decision.” It sounds womanlike and bitchy. Therefore, I like it.
Fear of Flying by Erica Jong is a total contrast to the above. It is an unconventional story about an unconventional woman. Laughed at the character’s idiosyncrasies. She is a compulsive dreamer and in pursuit of string-less sexual encounters she calls the ‘zipless fuck’. She is funny, witty, sarcastic and sensual at the same time. She manages to reduce men to mere sexual objects. It has always been perceived the other way round and so, the book is fun. I am in the last few chapters.
So I leave with some of her famous lines:
“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.”
“And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.”
“You take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.”
“Men have always detested women's gossip because they suspect the truth: their measurements are being taken and compared.”
“I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me. I have accepted fear as part of life specifically fear of change and fear of the unknown; and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says, turn back.“