Sunday, May 29, 2005

Home Alone

Did a 'Kantaben' cleaning and scrubbing then played 'Tom and Jerry' with the rain, rushing to collect clothes before it came down and now, I am playing 'Home Alone'. 'J' has appointed me to be the watchman at her place for two days.
Irritation made me bless an autodriver for not budging even one inch from the circle I asked him to take me. How do I say," Take me to the A cross, B street, House no. C?" I was scared that I won't be able to collect the clothes on time and asked him to leave me a little closer. I said, "Khush Raho" and walked away.
Way to the kitchen, the potato looked malnourished, onion was unconscious, tomato was dehydrated, carrot had wrinkled and the other vegetables looked like they were having a 'hunger strike'. My spirit too betrayed and started sipping out of me.
Had spoonfuls of silence. Started missing the noise of the hostel which I so much hate at times thinking they'd disturb my reading or writing. Even if you don't budge from the room, the knowledge that there are people around comforts you. It was one of the long and lonely nights that I had yesterday.
Had some kind of funny feelings. Wished I could come back to a place called home, to someone. Wished I could wait for someone. Heck! I wouldn't even mind cooking.
Listened to Norah Jones. Everybody knows this song but the weather, the timing, the mood was just right. Made me think, "Now, whose boyfriend do I steal?" :-)
"Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song
Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies
I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come
Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me"
I have been tagged. I will definitely be game but the before that let me share the line I live by right now. Pallavi, Manuscrypts, Stone, Manish, Alka be prepared. You can even start if you haven't tagged.
"They say procrastination is the root of all sorrow; I don't know what that big word means, I'll look it up tomorrow"

Friday, May 20, 2005

Silently eloquent for one year

Bang bang! completed one year of blogging. Thanks to all of you.

It was nice to see my mail box with a huge response to a controversial post. Thanks for sharing your secrets and baring your souls and real names to me. Glad I was worth it. I have felt self righteous, martyred at times but also learnt that opinions could defer and also accept some people as they are, knowing that the world would be uninteresting without them.

It has been an immense pleasure to share some pages of my life though I confess it is not necesarrily my life chronicled. Sometimes, I am so happy and satisfied with life that I am scared I might just die. Sometimes, I feel pain till I can define pain no more. Words seem less and fail to express these upheavels. Beyond this webpage, I lead and live a life which is much more richer like say being umemployed:-) Feel like bugging you about how succesfully unsuccessful I am but I'll spare you.

ok, Another job awaits me and God save me and my career! For now, I have taken a break. Watched "Robots", "Kya Kool Hain Hum" and "DDLJ". They are worth a 'dekho'.

Been pampering myself, reading, sleeping, holidaying and dreaming. Yes, of star studded nights, walking in the beach or playing with kids and hope that they rub their innocence to me, of a heart- warming romance.

Have gained some weight too. 26" waist had started hanging on my hips. Made me look like walking with shit-in-the-pants that too formal:-) The last time, my folks were here mom said she could hang an umbrella on my collar bones, my so called beauty bones. She can be a bully at times and now, I know it runs in the family.

Inspite of all these relaxation and fun, I feel sudden bouts of despair. Perhaps, a certain longing for someone somewhere.

A galaxy of stars above me shines, I hope one of them is shining just for me.

Friday, May 06, 2005

some not so good days and other days

As I was crossing the road alone, a few months back, one guy just called me “eh chinky!” and bursted out laughing. He was with 3 of his friends. Ok, so, he was teasing me. Categorising me and my race or the people from North-East India as lesser beings I guess. Anyway, I’ll be back with more experiences and how I handle this issue some other time. It will be a long post definitely.

So, I turned back and saw the way this guy was giggling away accompanied by his 3 other friends. It did oodles to his ego, teasing a girl. I also got very irritated seeing him, his looks and thought definitely the minds of such people must be as ugly as SIN. I also called him back loud and clear, ”VEERAPAN” and walked away. He acted he didn’t hear but his face told otherwise. His friends didn’t stop laughing.

Then there is this guy who told me that the problem is I am too perfect for him. I read it somewhere, if a guy says, ‘I don’t deserve you’, believe him. So, perhaps he doesn’t deserve me.

Coming back to lighter things, a few days back everybody laughed at Ankita’s song. She is the only person in the family who can make my dad dance on her fingers. She pulled him in front of the TV and asked him to dance and dad just did that it seems. Making my dad do such a thing is like touching the face of a hungry lion. So, mom is all praises for her. Something she couldn’t do in more than 30 years of marriage, this kid did it in just 2 years.

Now, it seems from the crèche, where she has learnt that cute mosquito song, she has also picked up a lot of bad words and everybody is having a tough time correcting her :-)