Tuesday, December 21, 2004

of movies, bodies and marriage bells

I was reminded by a friend that it’s more than a week I posted something. I have not run sort of ideas. It’s the other way round. Ideas, await being penned to see their chrysalis happen. I regret not being able to give them life. I regret not reading my favourite blogs more than posting them. Life is going full throttle. Watched Roman holiday, Veer Zaara, Hulchul, Aitraz, Lakshya, Kyun Hogaya Na and liked them in that order. Audrey Hepburn made her debut with Roman Holiday. She is extremely beautiful and talented and belongs to the era where beauty meant very thin waist. Thank God, the concept has changed and the Bips, J Los’ of today and their ilk has made ‘bootylicious’ body in vogue. (It’s a different thing that I hate both the babes) How much can you starve afterall? I can’t. Not even a meal.

Marriage bells are ringing for some very dear people. Che Romila , a person more than a sis and a friend to me is tying the knot on my B’day, the 3rd of January (there, I said it. Don’t forget to wish me else, I remind again :-) )

My college-mates Arti and Shalini, both daughters of defence personnels are tying the knot too. For Arti, it’s arranged and now she told its love. According to her parents the ultimate man is one who is in the Defence. Opinions!

I am very glad for Shalini. She is a Brahman from U.P and he is from Mangalore, a typical non-veggie. After almost 7 years, their parents gave their blessings to go ahead. An alchemy of two different regions, beliefs, rituals, food habits. Commitment!

Hold on to your love sweeties. I feel one should marry not with the hope but with the conviction that one would be loved and cherished and never say ‘never’ to love and happiness.

Oh! How would it be to marry the person you want to marry?

Monday, December 13, 2004

utterly batterly delirious

Sa….a… Re .. e ..e.. e…Ga…a.. a.. Ma…a ..a….Pa…a a a ...
Saturday, at midnight this is what I did squeaking and squawking my vocal cords to brave the chill nip in the air coming back from “Bridget Jones’ Diary (II) “ , a movie which I was on pins and needles to watch. So, here I am talking about my hidden talent. I am a very good singer. It’s just that nobody knows it. The secret of my melodious voice, if I have to put it simple is that I watch late night movies and do the riyaaz while coming back on the roads of Bangalore. Nightingale !

On Sunday, I was at J’s place. Broom and brush, the brother sister duo did their pre-christmas cleaning. I gave them moral support by playing music and not interfering. Made myself comfortable in the kitchen. Prepared utterly batterly delirious khichdi. You can see from my post, the after effects of the khichdi. Some brothers ate it and now, they are delirious in public claiming “it’s my rice”, “it’s my dal”. How do you separate the two when the khichdi is already done?

Talking about the movie, the first was better according to me. Renee was still cute, fat and round. She concluded, “it’s possible to find happiness” Umm, it is definitely possible.

An sms that i got as a forward :

IIT: Islamic Institute of Terrorism.
JEE: Jehadic Entrance Exam
IIM: Institute of infiltration Management
CAT: Career in Alqueda and Taliban
IAS: Iraq After Saddam
Mtech: Masters in Terror Techno
GATE: General Aptitude in Terror and Extrimism.”

Peace be with you!

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

She, Innocent Divorcee

A calculator in hand, she collected all the bills and added 13 Rs. for the batteries, 50 Rs. for the flowers, 35 for the baloons… I was irritated. In the general body meeting, she went about questioning the people who had taken responsibility of the finance for the Christmas Celebration. I was not involved in anything. I had just performed a dance and was least interested in who has taken what or who has cheated if anybody had done too. All of us had contributed and I was appalled to see her doing it with such ferocity as if the money went from her pocket.
I came to know later from somebody what made her what she was and why she was interested in digging the truth and perhaps some hostel mate’s grave.

It seems she was married to somebody a few years back. The guy fought with her brothers over dowry. Somehow everything was sorted out and she was married to him. After the marriage that night, he announced he had married her just to insult her brothers and relatives and to take revenge on them. Don’t know if he had lusted too but she had walked out the same night from his house.

Glad atleast her family supported her in this case. She left her town and was working in Bangalore. We have seen it in movies. Prem Chopra acting the part in style but it does surprise me no end to know that there are breathing living people like that. She only knows what she has gone through to come away from home or to wait for another 6 years to get the right guy, as the term "Innocent divorcee" often triggers some other thoughts in our society. I had laughed too, reading this term in some matrimonial columns and asked my friends why are all divorcees innocent? Haven’t you ever done it? Not because you feel they are second class citizens or you are biased against them.
She is married now happily to someone much more deserving and I am happy for her.
Events like this challenge your belief in the goodness of people and human bondings but every individual finds the strength to rise up in times of crisis from within. Heroes are in us and I feel we should still belief in people for our own good. It’s about the choices we make that separates the good from the (d)evil.
Even Hitler was born a child.

Friday, December 03, 2004

"why can't a woman be more like a man?"

Loved this song from “My Fair Lady” Liked all the songs in this movie. “With a little bit of luck” is damn funny.

"HIGGINS
What in all of heaven could've promted her to go,
After such a triumph as the ball?
What could've depressed her;
What could've possessed her?
I cannot understand the wretch at all.

Women are irrational, that's all there is to that!
There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating,
vacillating, calculating, agitating,
Maddening and infuriating hags!
[To Pickering]
Pickering, why can't a woman be more like a man?
PICKERING
Hmm?
HIGGINS
Yes...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can't a woman be like that?
Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there's one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a woman take after like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like us?
[To Mrs. Pearce]
Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can't a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?"

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

what I did last weekend

Before another weekend winks and goes, let me talk about what I did over the weekend. After dance, J, me and K went for the movie, "13 and going on 30". J enjoyed for reasons best known to her.

It's one time watchable. Liked the fact that the lady in lead finds herself as a thirty year old and working for a magazine. Media has always attracted me. I have tried writing for some very famous magazines but the very few times I have tried, they have never been selected:-( . She finds herself seen as a snob by people around her.
It's about getting a chance to go to the future and then back in time and save what you still have.

Went bowling after the movie and I really pondered, What if the ball remains behind and I go rolling instead? The first three attempts went down the drain. By the fourth, one of the staffs came up and showed me how to hold the ball and throw. Even J started performing. Many times I failed but, I remember the only time I managed to down all the pins. We call the targets, 'pins' right? If it's wrong somebody correct me. Yeah! my day rather my night was made.

Then, we went hogging ice creams in 'Corner House' and came back triples in Kevin's bike avoiding the main road, traffic police and singing "Anda Anda Anda" from "Zodi No.1"

Watched "Dance with me" on sunday. What legs! what dances and what moves! There was one song which we also dance in the class. Was really happy to see that.

So, folks I am having the time of my life. touch wood! rosewood! teakwood!
(please don't give up on me. I'll try to post at least two times a week. )

Friday, November 26, 2004

to the party

Scene: walking in M.G and Brigade road

She: We should have planned properly
Me: yup. I can’t stand those pretty females all dressed up and sexy.
She: Don’t tell me you’ll commit suicide.
Me: If I don’t die and the ceiling breaks. You’ll pay the fine to my warden?
She: ok. Shall we shop? We still have some three hours. Which will be the closest shopping mall now? Let’s buy the earrings from here.
Me: ok. But let’s see what dresses we have first. Wear your skirt with the slit.
She: My legs!!!! Need to wax.
Me: where is the time? Use the razor :-)
She: lets go and check out here.

Scene: Enter, fancy dress, Exit trial room, enter, fancy dress, exit trial room, …

Me: let’s go. What you have is much better. Let me get my clothes to your place
She: What about the hair? I want to set it properly atleast.
Me: Just leave it.
She: It will be messy
Me: then tie it. I am telling you it’s nice. God, this is not the first time I am lying but forgive me.

Scene: At home in front of the mirror

She: I cannot come now. I have soaked my spaghetti top.
Me: Rinse it and get it out. I’ll iron it else wear mine.
She: see, if the colour matches
Me: yup. My tummy can be seen?
She: It’s ok. Once in a while flaunt it.
Me: ya ya, after all my tummy know. You have no problem with me showing my tummy
She: The same way you have no problem with me leaving my hair. As it is, it can be seen. So, don’t bother.

Scene: At home after the party

Me: Paid to buy myself a headache. I ate two slices of cucumber for dinner.
She: I danced with blah blah blah
Me: That idiot held my waist and spun me so bad. My feet were not in the ground. After that I got this bad headache:-(
She: The fact that you didn’t eat shows the gravity of the situation:-)
Me: Massage my head it’s aching
She: You massage my legs instead. It’s hurting
Me: How about your neck?
She: huh!
Me: Huh!

Sigh! the pain girls take to be in a party.

Monday, November 22, 2004

down and out

I am not well. Having fever and a terrible headache. Please wish me to get well soon. I promise a nice post.

Miss home. Miss my mom. Miss being pampered. Miss my dog, Sentry. She is 13 years old and still going strong.

I had fallen sick at home and she stayed in my room. Slight movement from me, she sat all ears and used to make whimpering sounds, wag her tail and alert others and kind of signaled me she understands.

Told my warden I am not well. I was not in the hostel this weekend and she told, " you people eat food from outside and fall sick". Who wants her bullet proof chapattis?

I watched "King of bollywood" the other day. It was... I forgot. ok, I remember only this part. Om Puri makes fun of the naming convention of Bollywood movies and calls his film," D.D.H.H.F.I.K.D" which is the short form of "Dhak Dhak Hota Hain Father India Ka Dil."

I don't remember anything else. So, watch it at your own risk. I am getting delirious. All of you take care.

Friday, November 19, 2004

remember you?

I don’t have a better line to explicate my feelings for you. I never use verbally, words which define an intense emotion as ‘hate’ but with you, nothing has been normal and this is how I sum it up,
"I hate you but I like you cos I love you."

I know it surprises you to see my easy tears and laughters over the smallest of things. You, being a harbinger of all things that is wise, nice and polished.

Let me talk of the weather in all zest. Get crinky and ask me if I am a salesman to be bothered by it.

We belong to the same world, different dimensions, never meeting. You know it as well as I do and I despise it and long for it at the same time. This bonding that makes no sense or the sense in all the nonsense that happens between us.

We clashed like the clouds did brought together by the winds of chance. We were bound to drift apart someday but as I hear your voice, crisp, clear and almost arrogant with an ear charged with memories of days bygone, I realise the sense of familiarity that is much too stronger than the perception of change. Makes me feel sometimes that it would be possible to descend once more into those waters again. Flowing in a current which would lead me to you. Like a sapling, looking towards the sun for nourishment in the unrest of new growth.

But then I too wear the garments of pride and ego perhaps of a better fabric than yours and now I know I am a super female, the xxx chromosomed if you care to call that.

A mere male like you will never know how it feels to hold my hand or how lovable I am when I feel shy. Yes, I have all that in me and much more.

To you I am the fireball and I’ll fight each step word for word and perhaps pulse for pulse because one thing is sure
you are good at being bad and I am bad at being good.


Tuesday, November 16, 2004

sisters act

To prove that I meant no nonsense, I scaled our bookshelf to the last millimetre chalked it and told her to use her own side. We fought like cats and dogs and when dad in anger said, " I will marry you two sisters one to the south-pole and the other to the north-pole" I was terribly happy.
I thought that I would be relieved of her poking her nose everywhere, where it did not belong. My privacy, my room, my life was under her scrutiny always. Infact there was nothing called mine and mine alone in the house. We shared a double bed, two study tables, which she joined again to make them one, cupboards, brothers, mummy, daddy.

I hated the fact that I had to pick her discarded dresses sometimes even when they were pretty and still new or that I had to play with her used dolls other than my Barbie. I waited for the day when I would grow taller than her and look down on her but Gods and the entire universe seem to have a cosmic conspiracy against me and it has never happened:-)
Her way of reducing me to a mule was by uttering,"You kiddo, don't act smart. I saw the sun and the moon much before you" There, I was insulted and would lament for hours. The higher authorities like my big brothers and parents often left my appeal or my cry for SOS unheard. She even told me that I was adopted as I came floating in the river. I really thought it was the truth and asked everybody. My brothers played along and said, it was the truth. I had to wait the whole day for parents to come home and ask if I was adopted.
She was someone I didn’t want to be. I wanted to do everything my brothers did. Wanted to wear bermudas, ride BMX cycles or stand behind one, gell my hair or fix it and play cricket with them even if the only time they allowed me was to run and fetch a stray ball, (injustice here again :-< )come back and sleep without having a wash. She would beat me and I would cry sometimes till someone else scolded her.

She laughed at my chapattis, which looked like the Indian Map or tasted like papad while hers would be a perfect full moon. She forced me to take turns and do the morning puja and other religious obligations. She ran behind me in the big compound tirelessly and taught me to ride the bicycle. She knew my Maths and finished all my SUPW assignments too.

Once she gave me her new dress to wear for a birthday party even before she wore it once. Seldom ate without me and somehow knew what upset me even when parents failed. I don’t know what was there in us; somehow we always took sides when we were at war with other siblings. She loved showing me off to her friends too and got me lots of gifts.

With all the nagging and scolding, my sister taught me to be a girl and what it was to share.

Yesterday, we argued for half an hour over the phone. I laughed to myself later and missed the old times.

Monday, November 15, 2004

of chocolates, diwali and weekend

From the past few months, I have been eating chocolates almost everyday. Courtesy, Software Engineers.

Friends who had gone on-site and their friends who had gone onsite gave them to me from across the globe. Diwali was a continuation of the sweets and the chocolates. So, Software Engineers aren’t so boring. I just love them. Slurp! Chomp! Chomp!

Now, I know how it is to be Jayalalitha and having to offer an olive branch to Sonia Gandhi :-)

It seems chocolates are good aphrodiasacs.
I think it’s time for me to be committed. Not because I have been eating chocolates but because I am at the pink of my health and I miss having headaches.

Diwali saw me walking up and down with a rocket for almost half an hour without being able to burst it. Pataofying guys seem to be easier than bursting crackers.
Visited ‘J’. Saw her burning up a long stick which is provided to burn crackers on the gas stove. Said she thought it would start to sparkle. Proving yet again, why we are friends.

Met up with oldie,Prasanna who has come on business at Barista, M.G’s. He is a bundle of funny bones. There was a game where we had to roll dices and they should read ‘John Players’. Mama Shakuni style, I said, "Bhaanje pobarah!" but got John and John in both. Prasanna did it. Then, he solved a jumble too and we got free coffees and a gift voucher. So, for me it was like two free coffees. Didn’t forget to add, "See, I bring luck" :-)

By the way, been searching for a Burnol or some coolant. My a@&# is on fire. Got deadlines and I don’t know where to start.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

kama salsa

On Sunday we had a Salsa workshop after the class by some Newyork based guy.
Written on his T-shirt:
" The art of Kama Salsa"
" Kama n. a sensual pleasure of desire"
"Salsa n. a social dance that results in Kama
"


With respective images:
" Dancers in the dark
Awaken the salsera
Man of discipline
A rush of blood
The joy of salsa
‘S’ hits the spot
The recliner
Temptation with a twist
The big dipper"


He taught various ways of leading the lady, how to go about single spin or double spin, how to guide her in a social dance where you don’t have enough space etc etc. most important, he told to have eye contact with the partner which most people don’t. I am sharamless so I always catch the eyes of my partner even if he tries to avoid :-)

Hope the pushing and pulling by some of the galloping guys reduce.

Many complimented ‘J’ and me. They said we are the most pleasant among girls and we do not frown when they miss steps or do not lead us properly. I am glad I didn’t give my blog address to them.
There was audition for female dancers. Many came with their parents. Appreciate the parents. I wouldn’t have gone if we had to give auditions. Surprised how I was asked in the first place.

They have to strain every sinew of mine to eke out a performance from me. I am downright lazy and keep forgeting steps.

We were in the class from 11 am. to 6.00 pm. Lunch was a fruit juice and kulfi. If I go at this rate, people will need a microscope to see me.
R and N came out in their Scorpio and asked if we would care to join them for a coffee. Pat came the reply,"No thanks, some other time" in a chorus. After they left, we stood staring at each other wondering why we turned down. Both of us were tired and damn hungry and had to wait for long to get an auto

Friday, November 05, 2004

damage control

I did not like the last post but the comments made me look at the positive side of it. I wanted to delete some part but now, I won’t. I have started the damage control however. Read the book," Who will cry when you die? - Life lessons from the monk who sold his Ferrari " by, Robin. K. Sharma.

It’s about changing the stumbling blocks in life into stepping-stones and past mistakes to lessons in wisdom.
I read it loud to myself. It helped me concentrate and reflect on each word. It helped me modulate my voice.
If I take up this job of a consultant, I need a good voice so that people don’t bang the phone as I head hunt. I need all the positive energy to keep myself motivated and follow-up with clients and candidates. I don’t know if I can but now, I would like to try.

Wasting 3–6 months of my career is ok, if it’s going to give me a lifetime of satisfaction. God knows where my blogging activities would stand in the gist of all these activities. There should be someway of multi-tasking.
My friends asked me what I was reading so loud and serious? Would have done wonders had I concentrated so much on studies. Sigh! But then, there is usually only one topper in the class and so and so forth. Like the bollywood actors say, "I never believed in the number game" :-) ok, there’s a thrill in topping. There’s a thrill in excelling and life’s game is still on…

"Young man, make your name worth something." Andrew Carnegie

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

career and the other side

I see myself quest for something. Wait for something to happen. What? I don't know.

I am embarking on the threshold of another career. yes, I have refused to be happy doing one thing but I don't know if it is going to be the right move. Got an offer to be a HR consultant.

It was nice to see in the end of a documentary being rolled on the screen,"Script: Miss Kshetrimayum" but after almost 2 years into content and copywriting, I suddenly feel my creativity gone haywire.

I have been a consultant before but it was into sales. Did well, earned perks sometimes triple my salary. Learnt that you have to see yourself to sell anything. To sell emotionally and logically. It often happens the client buys cos they liked you.

We were trained to dress, sit, talk, keep eye-contact, win the wife as husband would follow suit(it really works guys;-) ) and never to give up.

Before the clients signed the deal, they would ask,"should we?" I would smile and say reassuringly, 'yes'. 'Yes' because it would mean I would be getting my commission per deal and the deposit they made. 'yes' cos it was supposed to be my job. 'yes' cos I had to grow and I did become the rep of the Branch Manager and reported to him directly jumping other seniors. But as I said, 'yes' a niggling voice within me asked," are you sure?"

I left cos I was not sure of what I was selling and why I was a consultant.

I don't know at this juncture, if it is going to be funereal attempt to shift and if my career would fizzle out into a disaster. I had plans though of retirement. I Wanted to open a creche, keep an aaya per kid, watch them, wonder at their innocence and elude myself from the real world.

On the other side, thoughts some wavering, some surreal clashes and crashes against each other like the waves do, incassent and tireless.

I feel like having a lover(don't raise your eyebrows) with pride, with pleasure, sensual, emotional and every kind of feeling wild or tender that boils down the gut or placid and serene that supposedly goes with the act of love.

It should be better, creative and surpass the knowledge that I have from the hazaar novels that i sniffed and supped.

Will it be possible when you can't even hold hands without loving? To love someone with every fibre of your being one moment and then to forget that he existed in the next and just let go?

Why can't I help pitying those people who give themselves up so easily and surrender to passion even without knowing how it is to really love someone in every sense of the word?

I get emotionally attached to people whom I care for or care about. Once he gets upgraded to the level,'more-than-friends' alarms start ringing ." Now what?", "where are we heading?", "Is he Mr. right?" ," Are we getting married?","if not what are we doing?"

Often I spill it out and spoil it. They say, happiness is in the journey but I want my destiny chalked out. I don't want to go for any tempting parking spaces. Heck am I missing something in life?

this is not what i was thinking while meditating, it just came out.


Monday, November 01, 2004

Thursday, October 28, 2004

chicken-dressed to kill.

It was time again to be kitchen smart and so I cooked chicken (my style) the other day in J's place. Waited for them to praise my cooking skills. J didnot comment and ate quitely. Her face was blank. I peered close and saw her face cantilevering between a frown and an irritation.
Gave a sideways glance to her brother. He suddenly announced that he would be carrying it to office the next day. Yo man! my dish was going to be re-heated or recycled whatever, and eaten a second time.
At once I thought of my contemporaries, Tarla Dalal and Sanjeev Kapoor and my cookery show Khaana Khazana oops!it would be Khaana Khaas on T.V. I felt I had shouldered the responsibility of feeding the nation and that my recipe would increase the Gross Domestic Happiness of the country and the world at large paving way for world peace through the stomach.
From white, my face turned pink and I smiled the smile of a celebrity and he added,"to kill my manager"

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

hobbits?

Perhaps JRR Tolkein was correct with the term hobbits. I haven't watched "The lord of the rings" but I managed to read some parts of it. When I came across the Hobbits, this is not what I thought of. Opinions, I leave it at your disposal.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Yogi and his Clairvoyance

If you think you are sad, you really become sad. So let me start thinking I am happy. Well, I have been very busy. Managed to peep to my blog and was reaaly nice to see the comments. Thanks a lot. Overwhelmed, indeed I am. For the first time I really feel I did the right thing by starting to blog.
Coming to mundane activities, we have a client, a famed yogi who claims to be clairvoyant too. His articles gets published in some English dailies and all that. We did his website.
He gave us a thought for the day which goes like this,"Breathe consciousness is love consciouness and love consciousness is God consciousness". As far as I am concerned, I didn't understand the head or the tail of it. P, my colleague read it and asked me, "Is he asking me to kiss or something?" :-)
Helped an old man above 70 climb an elevation on the road holding his hand. Carried his bag and walked to his gate with him. It was really heavy. Seems like those self disciplined man who doesn't want to rely on others even againsty their physical health. Nice house he had. But no signs of any bachelors. sigh! I should help more oldies I guess.
watched Bride and Prejudice. With pride I am prejudiced against miss Rai. Her don't-touch-me looks didn't do any good for the movie. Vivek might say otherwise though. I had forgotten what a bad movie was like until this happened. Was it a drama, tragedy or comedy? I don't know. I laughed at the tragedy it was.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

lost love

"You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believeThis could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands I sit and cry"
Some pains always have the power of novelty.

Took confident strides to that lane I had forbidden myself to tread. A new haircut, new glasses, new dress, even a new fragrance embodied. We crossed paths again. Shoulders shrugged and exchanged ‘hi!’ and moved on. Somewhere, the lurking pain prevailed.

I guess I need to put it out today and it’s gonna to be long. Blogging ethics be damned (length, font size ET el).
Well, they say at the flush of love, everybody becomes a poet. Mine is flushed so, I am no poet. Brains, I never had one. Even if I did, it’s gone for a date or to take a hike. I have moved on with life as everybody says I should. I have become a bald rolling stone and don’t even stop when I should. The fact is, the search never ends for a face once known, a face that I derived my strength from, a face that I loved once just about anywhere I hang out.

I knew him from the time I knew how to eye a guy. He was the one who saw me change from an oily haired college girl to a career woman. Had laughed and wiped the smudged eyeliner from my eyes when I first started using the darn make-up. The dreams we weaved and the way we tore it to shreds! Should I say it has left me mature? I guess so. I am a big flirt now. But sometimes I do wonder if ‘love me please, knock knock can you hear me?’ is written on my face or that I am just a tease or that fragile.

‘Just because we’ve been going around for almost 6 years doesn’t mean we still have to’, he had said and I said AMEN! And did my part. Perhaps I saw it coming. Perhaps, we didn’t want it anymore. Perhaps, my ego larger than the universe couldn’t take it that I would be dumped by my childhood or teen-age love. GOODBYE! Just one word and it has changed everything. Or has it?

Now, you are not supposed to know how he is doing? You are supposed to live your own life. You are free to flirt or date ‘n’ number of men, to cry yourself to sleep, to stand and stare at other couples like a street urchin does to the comforts of a family dinner.
People say, ’you discover yourself’ in such catastrophe. I guess I have done that too. I have time now to pusue my hobbies passionately, blog, read, dance. Find time for my girlfriends and collegemates whom I didn’t know existed. I have learnt to stand in a queue, to walk a lonely lane, to run around for everything that needs to be run around. I still have to learn to have coffee alone in Barista or Coffee Day. Hah!

Yes, I have discovered myself because I had to and I didn’t have a choice.
‘Wahi hai dagar,
Wahi hai Safar,
Hai nahi sath mere magar
Ab mera humsafar
Idhar udhar dhunde nazar
Wahi hai dagar
Kaha gayee wo shaame
Wo madhbhari wo mere
Mere wo din gaye kidhar
Najane kyun hota hain ye Zindagi ke saath
Achanak ye mann kisike jaane ke baad kare phir uski yaad, chotti chotti si baat…’
(blame it on the weather, the festive season and my cold guys. couldn't help it.)

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

why?

She left behind a boy who has just started to utter 'Mama' and who would be searching for her by evening to be fed and to sleep blissfully in the crook of her arms.
She left behind, her long time boyfriend and now husband of 2 years and 8 months with whom she had taken the vow.' for better or for worse, I do' to love, to share, to cry and to grow old with.
She left behind, a good career, family, friends and a lot of questions unanswered.
smart, pretty, gentle and successful.
Mrs. A, my boss's wife left Mr. R a widower at 30 something with a small kid to fight alone.
What could have compelled her to take such an extreme step?
I have known Mr. R for almost 2 years now. Seem to be a good husband. Appreciates her a lot and is a doting father.
We were asked to close down the office for a few days. He couldn't bring out the lines properly, 'My wife expired'
Wouldn't she have liked to answer all the whys, hows, whats of her little one?
why????
If I had a kid, I would have killed but not given up my life.
May her soul rest in peace and may he find strength!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

why waste time thinking about a title?

Watched The Terminal. No reviews here. All I can say is it’s one of those movies, which makes you laugh and cry with ease. Taught what survival is. ‘Too good’ is not good enough a word to describe it.

Watched Around the world in 80 days too. What to say now?
Pow! Crash! Bang! It’s Jackie Chan! It’s a hilarious action comedy.
I got roses delivered too while I was in the theatre. The delivery guy kept on bugging me with calls saying he cannot find the address. Thought I’d utter Shania Twain style, ’that don’t impress me much’ but heh! It was nice to hold a bunch of red roses.

Now India is 101/2. I hope we win. Tired of seeing the Australians throw their weight around. India’s dogmatic adhearance to ineffective tactics have put them in skid row. Hope it’s a thing of the past in this match. Our dance classes in the Chinnaswamy Stadium had to be postponed cos of these brats last weekend. National waste!
Talking about the dance class. It’s the only place where it is politically correct should I say spiritually too:-) to switch partners and sway in the arms of many men. Got too spicy I guess. Ok, to dance with many men. If three guys like you and you like one of them then, flirt with the other two while dancing but go out with the third for coffee. Gives good ego massage to him. He will feel,’ I came, I saw, I conquered’. Relish the pleasure of making his day while you sip your favourite coffee.
‘J’ and me practice this policy, Some girls don’t act pricey, they just are.

Initially we used to give nicknames to people as it was tough to remember all the names. There is this guy who dances with his mouth opened. He is called mouth opener. One longhaired guy is named Zulfi, then there is lambu, chottu, ping-pong and there is cleavage. I hope I don’t have to explain why she is nicknamed cleavage:-)

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

never say die

Said, she left home (Mumbai) after fighting with her dad. Became my colleague and then hostel-mate. Studied in Goa staying in a hostel, then to the Gulf to join her parents, back to India after the war and settled in Mumbai.
Often a bundle of adventure and mystery, I didn’t know whether to believe her or not. Had a gold watch very typical of ‘Gulf returnees’. Spoke about a rich dad said they were three sisters, eldest a nun, second married to a guy who was 19 years elder and her.

Attired neatly ironed, out-dated salwars and dresses with elan. She wore boots to office on one Friday, with cheap glasses tugged on the hair and claimed that she couldn’t carry other dresses from home. She would often leave her hair without combing after a shampoo.

Nevertheless, she was smart and attractive. Her charms and wit binded us and we became good friends and the best consultants in the office. She shared glimpses of a troubled childhood, a dominating father, of naughty hostel days, first love, first kiss and how she lost count after that. Others gaped at her tales as if she was a seen-it-all, done-it-all but she was a very sensible female. One day she announced she is in love with a colleague who left to join the airforce, exchanged gold rings with him and promised to be in touch.

I just cannot help admiring her eager life. She was a go-getter and never sulked over anything. She was in here for just 6 months. Last heard she was in Qatar with her sister working for the Qatar airways and planning to migrate to Canada. She said she has bought a car, dyed her hair and party a lot. Told me she is in touch with her guy too.

If life hands out lemons, she will ask for her tequila and salt.
I don’t remember the lyrics properly but this is a song we laughed and sang together. Every line is suffixed with "on the bed" in a chorus.
Goes like this…
O Carol, I am not a fool in the bed Darling I love you in the bed Say you love me too in the bed You hurt me in the bed And you make me cry in the bed But if you would leave me in the bed I would surely die in the bed... :-)

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Osama and Us - A Channel4 Docu pitch

Directors: Jamie Cambell and Joel Wilson
"Over the last 15 years, the United States government has poured billions of dollars into an unsuccessful attempt to trace and capture thw world's most wanted man, Osama Bin Laden. The FBI is now offering $25 million plus a $2 million tip for information leading directly to Bin Laden's capture. Still, the al-Qaeda figurehead remains at large. In early 2003, from their war room above an inauspicious newsagents in Balham, two ambitious filmmakers have decided that they can succeed where all others have failed.

Gathering information from exprts and friends of Bin Laden in the UK, we begin to unravel the real man behind the myth. Bryan Fyfield Shayler, the Brit who taught the teenaged Bin Laden in Jeddah, tells us about his formative years. Omar Bakri a radical Islamic extremist who is friends with Bin Laden, joins us on a bumper car ride and gives us an indication of Osama's current location. Peter Juvenal, a British cameraman who has visited Bin Laden in his cave, shares his experience. Omar Bik, the head of al-Jazeera news, gives us an upto the minute account of Bin Laden's whereabouts. We examine the details of the times Bin Laden spent in London and reconstruct an Oxford scene from 1971 in which he went punting with two Spanish girls. Jamie dresses as Osama and accompanied by two Spanish looking girls heads off in a punt. Joel remains on shore questioning passers by. Were they here in 1971? Did they see the man on the punt? Did he offer them any virgins?

back in the war room, we establish that the evidence overwhelmingly suggests that our man is hiding in the Middle East. If so, why haven't the American found him yet? Why are they pushing him out of the picture just as war with Iraq looms? We need to ask the Americans these questions. We call Osama Bin Laden's bluff and make a beeline to the one place where no one thought to look for him: the United States.
We challenge the Americans to present evidence of their quest to track down Bin Laden. In Washington we quiz Thomas Kean, the man who replaced Henry Kissinger at the head of the enquiry into September 11;as well as Prince Bandar, the Saudi Ambassador. We call directory enquiries and ask for the Axis of Evil. We ask the White house if there is convenient moment for us to 'shoot' George Bush. In Disney worls we cross examind Mickey Mouse. And when we begin to suspect that the American aren't really interested in finding Osama any more, we head over to texas where we probe the Carlyly Group, the 11th largest weapons manufacturer in the U.S. The bush family is a major investor. Does Georgie have a vested interest in war? The bin Laden family are also investors. What's going on?

Becoming suspicious of Bush, we start to develop some conspiracy theories. Does he know
where Osama is? We stalk his ranch in Crawford, and banter with the inhabitants of this 700-strong town. Failing to locate the President, we arrive back in Washington and infiltrate the press conferances. It is here that we put our most pressing questions to the powers-that-be."Isn't it in US interests to keep Bin Laden alive inorder to justify war against Iraq?" and "which is more difficult to prove :that
there are no weapons of mass destruction within Iraq, or that Bin Laden is not hiding in the USA?"

Evidence in hand, we arrive at the U.S Embassy in Governor Square, ready to claim our $27 million. And yet afterall perhaps, we are not quite willing to betry Bin Laden to U.S authorities.

Osama and US calls into question the idea that America and Britain are spearheading a resistance by the good and the great against the terror tactics of the evil ones. By asking uncomfortable questions of the superpower, it satirises the people at the top who believe that they are on the road to Truth and Justice. And by putting blundering underdogs into apparent danger and tricky intellectual territory, it cajoles the viewer into supporting their madcap quest for the millions. "

Monday, October 04, 2004

comedy of errors

Scene 1: mom and me

She: Where are you?
Me: Mama, I am shopping with Jenny.
She: Whenever I call up, you are shopping or she is shopping.
Me: (Giggles) today, both of us are doing it.
She: Why don’t you buy gold instead of buying all those dresses and junks?
Me: And wear what? :-)
She: :-) you never take anything seriously. I know how many dresses you have. BTW, What are you going to do with your dance classes?
Me: Dance
She: What about your boyfriends?
Me: Which boyfriend?
She: You told me last time nah?
Me: They ran away. I took your name:-)
She: listen, I read in the papers that one girl was raped in Delhi. Your dad and I were discussing it. When do you leave office?
Me: By 6.
She: Good, tell your boss I don’t allow you to work late.
Me: (Gosh!) ok, but if I am late also, somebody drops me.
She: No, never allow anybody to drop you. Go in a group.
Me: ok, bus or auto.
She: You will be walking alone from the bus stop. What if the autowallah take you somewhere else?
Me: I’ll keep watching :-). In that case, send me my vehicle.
She: Not at all, I brought you up with so much difficulty. Here, atleast, you are in front of my eyes.
Me: When I took the vehicle, I was out of your sight nah? As if you followed me on the roads.
She: Nothing doing.

Scene 2: ‘J’ and her mom

She: There is one boy your aunty spoke about
‘J’: ok
She: It seems he is religious. Goes to the church and all that
‘J’: ok great. What am I supposed to do?
She: I have given your number. They are interested. Some Sofware Engineer.
‘J’: Here, if you throw a stone in space, it falls on one Software Engineer.
She: whatever, it seems he wants a girl from Bangalore. Speak to him
‘J’: fine
She: If he asks you to meet, don’t meet ok.
‘J’: then, how are we supposed to know each other?
She: umm, that’s also right. Go with your big brother.
‘J’: For a date? (Laughs!) Mom, why don’t you come along with me for the date?

Stop, or our moms will shoot.

Friday, October 01, 2004

silicon slum

“You don’t want to go to school?” I asked. “Nahi, school me mera set nahi hota. Aur kuch pucho.” This is the reply I got from a boy dwelling in a slum. I was not surprised though. Parents don’t inculcate the habit or the need to be educated to these kids. All they think of is to earn some money and go home.

To have our own footage for the library, we visited some slums in and around the city the other day. We went in a small group, not wanting to attract undue attention. Volunteered to join so that I could allow my seat to recuperate itself.

Most of the kids indulge in child labour, sell things or work as helpers in nearby shops or restaurants, workshops. Some of them got curious and came to see what was happening. Some shots were taken and when asked if they knew that child labour is a crime, they feigned ignorance. They know where their priorities lie. Empty stomach talks! There are many NGOs involved actively in rehabilitating the slum dwellers but so much more needs to be done.

Scary sight to see a small house with almost 10 people in it. No privacy, nothing. The stench in the area, the unhygenic surrounding. And it was just the other day, I had admired the opulence of the ITPL and electronic city and the companies there, standing proud and tall. The face of Bangalore, the Silicon Valley and the Silicon Slum.

To be very honest, I wouldn’t like to visit the places again. I am no Mother Teresa, just a normal girl with normal dreams and fears. I did not feel any empathy esp. for the men there. I was scared of them and wanted to escape. Urged my colleagues to make it fast. Some of them reminded me of the men you come across sometimes while treading a lonely lane. The stare they give at you, even when you console yourself they are harmless all the while trying to ignore them or will yourself to walk a little faster.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

of woman and climax

"I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic -- in the sense that I live in my world. I will not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself."

~Anais Nin. March 25, 1933 from Incest

"Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows. Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength, he nourishes himself from this fusion, and then he rises and goes into the world, into his work, into battle, into art. He is not lonely. He is busy. The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion. The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty. Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure in which he has bathed, and a charge of electric joy at contact with another. When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled, each act of love is a taking of man within her, and act of birth and rebirth, of child bearing and man bearing. Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew with a desire to act, to BE. But for a woman, the climax is not in the birth, but in the moment when man rests inside of her."

May 25, 1932 from The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Volume One 1931-1934

Monday, September 27, 2004

ouch!

ouch! I can't even sit properly. Have been parking myself in different angles on my seat from the past so many hours. Every tendon, ligament, muscle in my body is aching. I guess I am having a tennis elbow too. No, not because of holding a heavy bat, playing too much or being over-burdened by endorsements. It's something else.

Applied Moov for J. She asked me, 'Your body isn't aching at all?' I said no, and today I couldn't peel myself off the bed.

well, we are on the verge of becoming (dance)professionals. Mr. A asked us if we are interested to join the professional group. Took it as a privilege as we will be sharing the same platform with the group I had admired in one of my earlier post.

The warm-up session was terrible. Made us split and hold ourselves in that position. breathe-in this way, breathe-out that way. Jump, kick and God knows what? We were left panting only after the warm-up itself. Mr. S, the instructor for free-style made us dance out of our skins for almost 4-5 hours. If dancing is a joke then, it's not funny.

Then, again we were confronted with many questions,'Are you gonna be the extras in movies?', 'Are you gonna be item girls?','Are you gonna be like Saroj Khan, or Farha Khan?' No, none of the above as I guess I don't have what it takes to be one of them.

I will perform for the sheer pleasure of it when it doesn't collide with my office work. Leaving a few students, others are working. Two other girls are Software Engineers,one is a television actress (very pretty) and then there is me and J. Nice to know that there are people like us who take up a hobby seriously.

Wanted to learn the guitar too but, that has to wait now. Thought it would be fun playing 'tweng-tweng' all out of tune songs till the wee hours and test people's endurance or get pickled.

Haven't informed my parents though. All my mom will tell is, 'Who will marry you?' I am trying to work that out too mommy:-)

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Lust

"It is the the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."
~ Pooja Bedi

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Malpe Beach

"How big the sea is and how small we are!" "You expected the sea to be smaller than you?" There, she pricked my bubble of creative impulse. We giggle and kick each other, do a titanic with hands outstretched, run around, get wet. Feel the sand, at our feet, dress, everywhere… Eat Bhel, sit quite and observe. Admire the St. Mary’s island, ripe-green with promise at the distance and the boats going towards it. Try to discipline the knots in the hair teased by the breeze around. Burn off a stick each of Rothmans King size supposedly mild and meant for ladies given by somebody to whom somebody had given. Decide it’s too old an age to start a bad habbit. Nothing great about doing it or not doing it.

Get up again to run towards the surging waves and away from it. Dance in rhythm a la Sharukh and Kajol in Baazigar, act hawaiin, eye a couple and how the guy give up his right to die in some adventure as his wife forbid him to go deeper into the sea. Everytime his camera turn our side; we pose far behind the lady, happy to be the scenery in a perfect picture with a spurious air of gaiety.

Leave imperfectly perfect footprints on the sand; write romantically with our toes ‘A+B+C+D’, ’J loves… the beach’ (no better lines. Sigh!) and await the buoyant waves to wash it again. Laugh with gay abandon over what we wrote.

The skies invite themselves to our merry-making with tactical ploy and shoot raindrops from above. Everything becomes one and united, the sea, the sand, the trees, the breeze, the clouds, the rains.

We rush to the resort, ’Paradise Isle’ with rippling enthu, sit by the open pane and look again at the vast expanse, the fleet of boats embarked on the bank, the sun coming out shyly safe now from pursuit and capture by the clouds.

scoop down our icecreams laden with fruits, fresh and dry, caramels and a lot of nuts.

Malpe Beach, Udupi. No photographs, only memories!

Allowed myself to be bewildered. Stopped to question and never ceased to observe.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Bangalore to Udupi

My Kannada has improved over the years. First I said only 'left, right' to autowallas. Now I can say 'Go left, Go right'. I was extremely confident about myself and so I wondered why is this brother-sister duo acting as if I am going for an expedition to the moon in some NASA spaceship?'. I guess I made the mistake of telling them that I am travelling alone by road for the first time. Got my answer sooner than latter.

'Where are you?' 'I am in front of Hotel Brindavan.' 'I told you Ajantha not Brindavan.'' Err! I thought Brindavan was Ajantha. I am going towards it now.'

Having never missed an opportunity to take leave before, I couldn't join 'J' few days earlier to her home town. Gave my best professionally cute application and managed a days off to stop 'J' from complaining that I don't plan to visit her unless I have other friends to think of.

Her brother spoke to the Conductor and told him where I am supposed to change the bus and where I am bound to be despatched like a parcel tag and all. Couldn't complain as I have been behaving like one. Remembered my mom instructing the driver of my school van, 'She left her bag in the school yesterday. We had to go and fetch it again. Please just check when she comes home'

My seat was the first one on the left, diagonal to the drivers butt. I didn't have a co-passenger by my side but whoever oveheard Jeevan instructing the conductor became suddenly kind and helpful. When it was time for me to change the bus, almost three of them told me I have reached. Again, I was left waiting for the route no. 2 bus being instructed by the first conductor to their staff in that stop.

Embarassingly overwhelmed with people's kindness, I was received with hugs by 'J' and Aunty the next day.

Monday, September 13, 2004

memory

My eyes are squinted,
my steps have faltered
but I have never stopped looking your way.

I am cursed never to part with your memory
I am cursed by it's obstinance to etch deep.
now, I no more even want to try.

I miss you,
I miss us
now, I even miss the tears and the agony it gave.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

I saw ...

I saw
  • a couple in rags sitting by the roadside, sharing a meal from a plastic bag placed on a newspaper
  • a lady almost 8 months pregnant, begging. Does she have a home or a husband to go back to?
  • a couple fighting. She fumed,’Are u deaf?’ He kept of walking ahead without a word.
  • a few girls doing some kind of gymnastic. Are they safe in the streets? Child molestors and rapists do not come with horns. Worst still, will they give themselves up for a meal or a few sums of rupees?
  • a couple walking hand in hand. The lady had polio. Her husband walked slowly with her in their own pace unmindful of the mad rush around them.
  • a baby girl standing in front of her mom’s two-wheeler, balloon in hand. The balloon suddenly went afloat a few metres, fell on the ground and bursted. Both mom and kid craned their necks to see it. Mom looked at her kid’s face again. She looked more disappointed than her little one. Mothers!
I tasted a slice of life.

Monday, August 30, 2004

wishes for a friend

Dear Shailesh,

It's your day buddy. We have been friends for almost a decade now and I know I have never posted a card in your name but I haven't forgotten it you see.

From the days of our innocence to those of the brushes with our crushes, misses and fixes of my love life and yours and the blogging and slogging that's been happening, I am glad its charm has never waned with time or with familiarity. Inspite of the changes in our addresses and phone numbers, we have found time to always catch up where we left.

Thanks for being there to catch my fall, to help me realise that it's ok to whine for hours about the bad world and the bad guys, it's ok to think that I am the right girl around and people are just wrong. It's ok for me to hog and still eat from your share. It's ok to brey my favourite tunes, to listen to the stories of a book or a movie I missed or to share the tales of my man-hunt even when it is an STD or an ISD call.

I know nobody can take so many lies in one day. So, let me stop here. See, I dedicated a post to you. Stop complaining.

Wishing you lots of love and laughs and many happy returns of the day!

KentuckyFriedChicken doesn't taste the same without you :-)

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Stark Naked

I am talking about the recently concluded sale in the 'Globus' store. All the mannequins were displayed naked but for the flap of thin wooden planks which covered their nudity. On the planks were written 'Sale upto 50%'

I liked the concept. Gave the feel that the store was sold out.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Electronic Jihad on Thursday

I was unable to post on my blog today, then I thought, what the heck! Well, here is a likely reason but I have nothing to do with it nor am I the right person to comment, I am rephrasing some of the information which have started puncturing the wall of the Internet with the bulleted information.

A coordinated online strike against Internet servers by terrorists, dubbed "electronic jihad," may or may not strike this week, security experts said. One security researcher in Moscow warned that Thursday would be the day in question. But a recent string of attacks on primary Internet services and the unraveling of major encryption routines are raising concerns in the Internet operator community.

"The hackers who have proclaimed 'electronic jihad' have enough experience and resources to paralyze the Internet for several hours at least," Kaspersky said report.

"The e-jihad has been discussed for years, but an undisputed attack has yet to surface," said Ken Dunham, director of malicious code at iDefense Inc. of Reston, Va. For the most part, coordinated "hacktivist" attacks have been "more talk than walk," he added.

your game

I went on playing my normal strokes, never losing my focus. Waited for a loose ball from you. It happened and I hit it for a six. Crossed the field and banged on a rooftop never to be found again.
Saw you curse. Saw you reel over the blow. Heard you asking me; a new ball in hand to start all over again and I just realised that I am not interested in the game anymore.

Honey, you are forgeting that it was not my game but yours that I played.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

another day, another post

A very interesting post keeps running on my mind. I see myself being read by millions. I am writing short stories and what not. The only thing is while all these are happening, I am fast asleep or there is something wrong with the keyboard. So for now, I continue my tale of another Sunday.

Did not have anything to do, no boyfriend to romance, no errands to meet. Was happy to learn the steps, which I envied 3 months back in the dance class. The guy I wanted to dance with is still my senior and our batches can never be combined.

Exausted and having no stamina for a culinary riot in the kitchen, lunched outside. It’s a different thing that we don’t know when was the last time we cooked on weekends.

Fortuitously, saw RJ Surej Venkat involved in a road show. Feasted on him. Mid 30’s, grey hair, rich baritone, scored high on the ‘cool-o-metre’

Evening came. Opened the TOI. Uma Bharati stared back. Flipped to other pages, many faces and wasted pages on sports. Cricket-Indians walloped, Olympics-Indians mellowed, Tennis- Double disgust, doping and flopping. Aah! There was Rathore, his smiles shimmering amidst a thousand shattered dreams.

Read reviews of movies not released in the city due to tantrum thrown by the Kannada film industry. Wearing the ‘my kid is sick, close the school’ attitude. Happy when not rated properly.

Talks of sex covered the remaining pages. Umm, Media and the Masses are getting bolder. Finally, closed the papers and thought of posting something knowing that the day shall pass and another would come.

Monday, August 23, 2004

decision

Me (after thinking deeply): I have decided...
She: please don't let me know about it. Everyday you seem to decide something and make my life miserable
Me: huh!
I decided to post my decision but now, I have decided against that decision :-)

Friday, August 20, 2004

short, sweet and smart!

This is an old ad from one of the best Bangalore based production houses. I was floored by the simplicity of it. It was for 10 seconds on Kishore Kumar.

On a blank black screen, with typing effects, the words come out ‘Kishore Kumar’. Background music goes on. Then ‘1929 – 1987’. After 1987 gets printed on the screen, the cursor starts deleting and moves back to
‘1929 – ‘ and the cursor blinks and stops there.

The caption comes," Legends never die"

straight, short, sweet and smart!

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Bangalore to Hyderabad(And God made us women)

Reminds me of a song we chorused in the hostel, ’Wo kaun chupa Jhaariyong ke peeche’. ( translated who is that hiding behind the bush?) Jenny and my much-awaited trip to Hyderabad materialised last weekend. Couldn’t bid goodbye to colleagues as I was in a studio editing a documentary movie with boss.

Left sharp at 5 p.m and picked up a gift for Meghen. What better than the much talked about and I guess the much hyped ‘The Da Vinci Code’? Had it been for myself I would have not mined picking it up from the roadside bargaining with all my skills and faculties. Got a gift for Shilpa akka and her hubby too. Had tea for the last time at 6 pm as the bus was for 8.15 pm. Gave my attendance to the toilet and left for the ATM and then to the station.

5 mins before departure, we stood watching Tom n Jerry and laughed like nuts. People around us did the same looking at us. Perfectly on time, we left even without knowing where in the land of Biryani Shilpaka and her hubby stayed or how far they are from Meghen all set for a self imposed adventure.

Had some snacks. A movie was played. To my horror, it was ‘Kuch to Hain’. My health deteriorated after seeing Tushar Kapur. A notorious headache attacked me. On grounds of sympathy, I found the luxury of Jenny’s shoulder to lean on.

The bus stopped for dinner. Decided against it but payed our respect to the venerable ladies toilet. The next time I got up to find a man crawling on all four by my side. Oh! He was searching for his misplaced chappals. I fished it out for him. A man came up with a lot of mausambi juices. Felt like gulping them down. I guess I thought it loud cos Jenny gave a stare of a lifetime and said,’ you can’t even hold back a drop of water and you want to drink that?’ Sat down sheepishly but then I noticed the guy had all his fingers dipped on the glasses.

‘Come down with me’ I said. ‘I don’t think there is one’, she said half-asleep and uninterested. ‘Let’s at least get down and ask’ I said trying to look as helpless as possible.

For once I wanted to be one of those guys standing a little away cooly and so focussed.

One man pointed towards the petrol pump. Found everybody asleep there. One of them stired and pointed somewhere else. There was a broken wall but no toilets around. Climbed it down to find a deserted lane. Jhaari hunt started and in the lap of nature, we answered nature’s call.

God created us women to have period’s pain, labour pain, to be born here but die there and not even piss in peace. Wondered if it is a curse or a boon? I guess the later cos given a choice, I would still opt to be a woman and perhaps continue my mission Jhaari whenever required. It seems words are inadequate to express the joy of motherhood.

Relieved and also satisfied with the knowledge that I have imported kidneys and urinary glands, we mounted the bus to reach Hyderabad the next morning.



Tuesday, August 17, 2004

The conspiracy

A conspiracy was hatched. It was a real thrill executing it. Jo very sweetly told me to help him design something for their company jacket. The winner gets to see the design printed. It had to do something with DSP and multimedia. I had another deadline for the day too.

So, to and fro went some mails with forwarded text on what is DSP and what the company does. Then, every 5 mins rang my cell and I murmered something which always ended with 'ok ok got it got it'. Sat with Jitesh, one of the designers as I didn't know what to do with the softwares apart from the fact that I remember only their names. Told him to open photoshop and Illustrator and gave the design on paper with the colour schemes.

Looked around and peeped to Jitesh's screen, my screen then his screen and my screen all the while whispering something or the other to him. Selected the colour and noted its CMYK values and gave it to him. My cell kept ringing all the while and the ok ok continued.

Finally mailed the jpeg format and Jo liked it. He forwarded it to the judges. I came to know it is one among the top two finalists. I am not disclosing the name of the company other than that it is one among the top mobile companies in the world but if you see a jacket with a sine wave and a musical note drawn along with its logo, then it is the seed of our conspiracy. If it loses the contest, I enjoyed blogging about it.:-)

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

'The notebook'

In candlelight, I finished reading Nicholas Spark’s ‘The Notebook’. I read it’s sequel,’The wedding’ first and then came to this book. I had my first encounter with this author with his ‘Message in a bottle’. Many of his novels have been made into movies. By this I remember a quote I came across in a bookmark that I got in Shopper’s Stop the other day, ‘Never judge a book by it’s picture’. Nicholas has a way of twisting endings, which leaves the reader feeling a void, achingly touched, poignant and yet wanting more. As the wax melted so did my heart. Middle of the night I was crying buckets. Decided not to read love stories for sometime now.

Some lines:
We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken us a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young brash and impatient must always break the silence. It is a waste for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking and it’s a paradox’

‘He was four years old at the time, just a baby. I have lived twenty times as long as he, but if asked I would have traded my life for his. It is a terrible thing to outlive your child, a tragedy I wish upon no-one.’

Monday, August 09, 2004

thinking pictures

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." ---Love and Death

"I love him for the man he wants to be, I love him for the man he almost is, I love him… I love him"--- Jerry Meguire

"Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time." ---Casablanca

"I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without It." ---City of Angels

"My husband and I fell in love at first sight... maybe I should have taken a second look."--- Crimes and Misdemeanors

"I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you; I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. When Harry Met Sally, You can't express every feeling that you have every moment that you have them."---When Harry met Sally

"A heart can be broken; but it keeps beating just the same."--- Fried green tomatoes

"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable"---Wizard of Oz

"I love you even when you are sick and disgusting"---Love actually

"You never lose what you never had"---How to lose a guy in 10 days

"I said the wrong thing and if I hadn't, I could be in bed now with a woman who if you could make her smile you got a life."---As good as it gets

She to him when he goes to her apartment at 4 in the morning. " Is it a secret what you're doing here?"
He:" I had to see you..."
She: "because..."
He: "It relaxes me... I'd feel better just sitting on the curb in front of your house than anyplace else I can think of or imagine"---As good as it gets

He: "Will you love me for the rest of my life?" (in the hospital bed)
She:"No, no, I will love you for the rest of mine." ---Phenomenon


Wednesday, August 04, 2004

walk away

I sat looking around my room, my room decorated with hidden words-words of my dreams, my angst, my fears…
The past week, emotions have been high and feelings pretty low. How much do I fight the odds and for how long?
I always put one foot forward and set a seeming pattern against an endless background of expectancy and don’t know what to do next. I am always caught in-between. I am always left vulnerable, unaware. I am always stuck.
Happiness needs getting used to I guess. I want to be happy, I want to scream it out but as much as I try, I cannot scream.
Left yet again would be my silent eloquence and me. My thoughts wonder and wander but before I face the truth head-on, I walk away, walk away and always walk away…

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

one word

I am tired of the word innovation. ‘Where Innovation is a tradition’, ‘Innovation is a way of life’, ‘We add value to innovation’, ‘We change lives through innovation’. There are again those punchlines of we dos, ‘we change lives’, ‘we make things better’, ‘We bring good things to life’. However, I like ‘We also make steel’
So, I conclude innovation is an over-rated word. But, I gave a line ‘Innovation in life through nature’ for some biotech company. Punch lines have forgotten to give the punch intended. Sue all for Plagiarism, me included.

One word to brand a media-related company, whose core competence is the research of contents and production epecially documentaries. When we say ‘Prestige’ you relate it to Benz, ‘Safety’ for Volvo, ‘Engineering’ for BMW, ‘Overnight’ for FedEx. A simple word, a very very simple word and what is that damn word? I have no idea. Deadline is just a few heartbeats away. I have been giving hazaar words. I was told, ‘You are good in vocabulary no doubt but try something simple’

"Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple and awesomely simple, that’s creative" -Charles Mingus

Saturday, July 31, 2004

2 minutes

After movies on aforestation, deforestation, urbanisation, drought, coconuts, this happened. I was supposed to script a 2 minutes film for a diagnostic centre and I had no idea. Went to the rest room many times to see if some Eurekas happened. Nothing helped.
I started ‘you are Vital’, then something like ‘we are Vital’, naturally ‘they are vital’ followed.
I had researched and developed all the content for their website and brochure and finally I sat blank.
3 minutes before the deadline got the concept, which was approved. Sold it by saying that it is just for 2 minutes and as we show the rushes of the infrastructure we can show these lines on the screen.
" A boon to the diagnostic world"
" Comforting ambience, far removed from the conventional sight and smells"
" State-of-the-art technology"
" Accurate results in the shortest time"
" Expertise and professionalism under one roof"
" People-centric, cost effective"
Finally, "quality of service is our continuous commitment and concern"
Then on a blank screen the logo and their punch line.

Friday, July 30, 2004

katra, katra

‘Katra katra milti hain
Katra katra jeene do
Zindagi hain behene do
Pyasi hung mein pyasi rehne do’


‘Tumhain pyar karte karte
Teri neend tak udhadu
Awung jo apni zeed pe
Tumhein kya se kya banadung’

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

until next month

Three hours before the programme, Bitha smsed me,’ I haven’t yet got a black top. I am topless’. I replied, ‘wow! You deserve a Kodak moment.’ This was the state of affairs yesterday.

Like every other month we had our birthday celebration for the July born girls. I had committed to the warden and choreographed a dance number. Bitha is vacating next month and she wanted to dance for the last time. Agreed, we wouldn’t get such a platform anywhere else. Dances on stage have gone with college life and we are no professionals to do it elsewhere.

Somehow we enjoyed the rush to finish dinner, put on the make-up, arrange the costumes and the last minute rehersal singing by ourselves music and all.
I picked up J’s black top on the way back from office for Bitha. Stiched silver papers on the trousers, red satin and silver in our hands in place of bangles and yes, God bless whoever’s boyfriend it was who had given those flowers. I guess it was Smitha’s.
A bunch of Jarberas was lying. The pink ones went to the hair and the yellow ones were pinned up neatly to a black satin ribbon to become chokers. So, if you love your gal, say it with flowers if not for her, for her friends’ atleast:-)

Finally we tied bright chiffon dupattas on the hips and checked if anything could be seen navel, stomach, flat or otherwise. If some skin were seen the nun would revolt.
Smitha, an MBA student performed Bharatnatyam and after some songs it was our turn. The commotion of the last three hours got over in just 5 minutes. But the day couldn’t just get over without me committing some blunder so; there I was again on the request of some friends who had arranged for the event on stage with another costume. This time it was a ponytail, track pants, t-shirt, sport shoes and pom-poms.

I started with free jive. It went good then came the second verse of the song and then the third. I started thinking, ’Oh sucks! Why did I select this song?’ then I decided, ’lemme turn from the left and then from the right. Now again from the left. Oh God! This is the third time I am simply turning left and right. Oh yes, I have two hands too and the pom-poms. Let me do something with them. Aren’t they supposed to co-ordinate with the legs? Ok, let me shake my bum a bit and kick yes, left foot right hand, right foot left hand. 567… here I go.’ Suddenly I started to laugh followed by the audience. I didn’t stop dancing; I continued the confusion for another 20 seconds and came out of the stage leaving the audience in peels of laughter.

MC announced,’That was sponteneous’. A loud applause followed (for my shamelessness.)
Reema, now a lecturer in St. Joseph’s College of Commerce took over and shared her experiences with the students who had asked her out for coffee.

For now I agree there is a right time for everything. Dances should end with college. (Until next month : D)

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

another day in paradise

I was standing in front of kids’ kemp in M.G road the other day when this autodriver approached me. He was above 60 years of age, old and freckled. Few of his teeth had gone missing and I could see the air whizzing out from his mouth as they struggled to align and form words. He said, ‘free service Madam’. I did not believe my ears and just looked at him. He continued to explain himself and asked me where I wanted to go and that he would drop me without charging anything for it. He also said that he is doing it for 4 hrs that day. I was surprised, shocked and touched at the same time. I turned him down saying my friend is coming to pick me up and thanked him profusely but started thinking why did he decide to do it. Yes, he was a Muslim too. I mean he wore the cap, which is worn during namaz. Was it due to some religious obligation?
I turned back to write down his number but he was already sandwiched between other vehicles and went out of my sight. Many auto drivers before have cheated me and I often judge them wrong but this elderly man taught me a lesson. The world is still a nice place to live in. I just have to do my bit. I feel the presence of God amidst us and I am not all alone. Another day in paradise!

Happy birthday Judy oops Dr. Judy. My chaddi dost. May all good things be yours! You are one more year smarter and sexier. I love you. ummmmmaah!

Friday, July 23, 2004

For once

For once, let me sit and drink your intelligent features.
For once, let me entice you with my charms.
For once, let us hold hands just naturally.
For once, take me in your arms as if I belong there.

For once, let my senile heart forget to rage.
For once, let me expose my weakness.
For once, let us laugh like nuts.
For once, kiss me with all your being.

For once, let me know how it is to give.
For once, let me bloom like a wild exotic flower.
For once, let us give love a fighting chance.
For once, let me count on you.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

smell

I am damn busy and for once I am enjoying every bit of it. Even the late hours. Finished one website. It looks shoddy but the client liked it. Finished 'Smell' after much struggle. Sometimes the book cradled my face and sometimes I had it in my arms and slept. Radhika Jha has made a very stunning debut. The power of the book is the power of smell.
First published in Viking by penguin books India, 1999.
I quote some lines here:
‘You see after you leave, your smell keeps me company, almost as if you were still there. It comforts me but it begins to fade after a few days and I run through the house searching for a little whiff of you like an addict.’

‘Philosophy is what losers use to pretend that losing doesn’t matter’

‘Memories are seeds that sprout into huge trees overnight, blocking your view of the future.’

‘ I want to find a way to hurt him. ‘I can’t remember’, I say. ‘What do you mean you can’t remember?’ ‘You have no special smell.’you are like everyone else. I made it all up, every last bit of it’. He looks at me as if he has never seen me before. ‘You are lying, aren’t you?’ ‘No, I am not’. ‘You can’t do that it is not possible’ ‘It is. I did.’

‘He hits my face with his fist now, once, twice, three times. My head swings left and right from the force of his blows. He is going to kill me, I think drilly, wondering when my neck will snap, hoping it will happen quickly. Suddenly he stops he burries his face in mine and starts to cry…’

‘That’s when it hit me – a dark feral smell too strong to be civilised, too powerful to be hidden. A smell so shameless, it belonged to the night or those private moments of solitude that cannot be shared. I was surprised to find it here, in public’

umm, do I smell a victory as India takes on Bangladesh in the Asia Cup? such entertainers that they are, they have the ability to make the climax very interesting be it with Pak, Australia or even Bangladesh. you never know. So, I keep my fingers crossed for the Indian team.

Friday, July 16, 2004

rants

I have mentioned ‘J’ more than anything or anybody else in this blog. She does not read my blog. First I boasted, then I bribed now, I am begging. She doesn’t have time. She works in a finance company. She is busy minting money for me to borrow. I am asking her to adopt me.

Ankita is the name of my niece. The other day, I called her very lovingly on the phone and she called me ‘papa’. I thought something was wrong with my voice and really worried myself just to realise that ‘papa’ is the only word she has learnt to speak. She is one year old and loves to be in the arms of men only. Umm! Looks like she is going to be a big flirt someday. Like aunty like niece!

More than our parents, it is often our neighbours and relatives who are concerned about our marriage. I just feel like getting married soon and surprise myself.

My childhood friend Linthoi told me she reads my blog everyday and that I haven’t left my carefree and bohemian ways till now. She told me to praise her if I mention her. So, here I am doing it. Tusi great ho! She is coming back to India but I won’t be able to meet her. I miss our mouth wrestling as we call it. Every topic was a debate between us with a lot of so whats’ and but alsos’. Rosy, Leena, Judy, Rita, Bedana stood mouth opened listening to us often laughing till it hurt. We never quarelled as such. She complimented that I blog everyday diligently and see, I couln’t post anything new. Next time I go home, I am having lunch with her parents even if she is not there.

Got my account statement. Last month I had a balance of Rs. 1. 54. The card was sure heavier than the balance. Anybody wishing to help me can contact me at the following address arunima at gmail.com

‘N’, my school buddy likes me eating and not putting on weight. Come back buddy and let me hear that compliment again as I gulp down the KFC chicken. Let me help you spend your dollars in the right way. I don’t give a damn even if the chicken is genetically engineered. You have a problem, give me your share.

Met two guys from the dance class. Anytime, a guy opens his mouth, I fear that he will say that he is a softee. One is a stock trader and the other is an investment advisor. Invited me to join them for dinner the other day. Suddenly remembered that Jenny had gone out and I had to cook alone. Was reaaaaalllyyyy tempted to join them but you know I had to turn them down. Yuks! I hated the way I smiled at them while saying ‘some other time’

‘Jo’ is another guy in the dance whom I hit and frown at for not leading me properly and not dancing right. Now that we are not in the same batch, I’ll miss dancing with him.

Boss saw the Infosys logo on my Tshirt. I really dare. Namak yaha se aur Tshirt kisi aur ka

that's enough for the day.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

yesterday

The streets still wore the colour of dusk. Night and day were about to shake hands and exchange duties. She wrapped urgency on herself and trotted forward to reach home on time among the crowd moving about in large knots. Her steps faltered suddenly. She saw a bike being parked at the St. Patrick’s Parking space.

Everything was the same. The black jacket, the helmet on the left hand, even the slight tilt of the head towards the left, the lazy but sure strides walking past ‘Kanti-Sweets’. The only change she noticed was the girl beside him. They looked relaxed, comfortable, in love.
Overwhelmed, she rushed to the parking and checked the numberplate,’KA-O2 4188’ It hadn’t changed. She stood thinking to herself, ’it was just yesterday’

It was just yesterday that she had walked rightfully by his side. It was one of those petty fights, which all couples had. It happens when you give someone a place in your heart. Sometimes she said sorry and they made up. Sometimes he did and they made up. Often, it was her who said the sorry. She waited for his call to tell him that he doesn’t deserve her but he is forgiven because she loved him.

Yes. It was just yesterday. She started to count and ‘yesterday’ was 2 years ago.

Crying baby gets chocolate

I couldn’t concentrate on my steps the other day in the dance class. The reason, one of the guys of our batch switched to the advanced batch when I knew that ‘J’ and me were better than he was. I don’t know when was the last time I really fretted and frowned. I seldom get angry over anything cos I just don’t give a damn most of the time. Yes. I do cry sometimes otherwise, I am always cheerful. Some of the guys really tried to cheer me up and failed miserably. I told ‘J’ if we are not upgraded, it’s going to be the last day in the institute. Told her to remember that a crying baby gets more chocolate. (Beatings too but, should know when to stop.)

After the class, I went straight to Mr. N for a tete-a-tete and asked if we could be upgraded. Gave a piece of my mind and told that other than three guys out of 18-20 of them, none lead us. We have to spin on our own and spin them too. Then Mr.’A’ joined and ‘N’ murmured to him in Kannada that there would be very less girls in our batch. I couldn’t make out properly but I guessed it right as ‘J’ told me the same later. ‘A’ told us to attend both the classes the next day. ‘N’ reassured that the class would be interesting as he would be teaching us new steps but I was not ready to buy his story. I have spent my money and was not ready to take shit. Yes. I work when I don’t blog and it is hard earned. I should enjoy the classes too if not what’s the point? One of the guys almost broke my arms. Then ‘A’ suggested that attending both the classes would give him a chance to judge us cos he has not been teaching us. Thanked him before he could change his mind and told to ‘J’ in Kannada, ’lets get going’, one of the few lines I managed to pick up in so many years for the benefit of Mr. N’s ears.

The next day was judgement day and we had to do well. ‘J’ said she is bored and would meet her friends instead and told me to let her know about my decision. I was left to battle alone.

I went clad in a cotton sleeveless salwar with a bindi drawn on my forehead. I did that on purpose again as some gals come wearing noodle strap tops, low-waist jeans. Looks good on some but, to others it looks like the thighs are every ready to tear the jeans and pop out at the first fart. They could be the reason why the numbers of male students increase by the day. I’ll think of a concept to advertise which would make more girls join in a later post.

The classes always start and end with a free-style. So, that day, I precisedly did free-style dancing 5 times along with two ballroom dances. There were three batches; first one was the senior most. They are those people who have been learning for the past 2 years. Lovely dancers! Our dream partners are in this batch. I joined in their free-style, as it was the only time I could dance with them. Then comes our batch then, the advanced batch I am talking about.

Some of my batch mates remained to see me join the last batch too. At the time of the free-style, none of the girls joined. They are those who performed on stage the last time. They stood watching and perhaps judging me. I was on the floor with three guys, Mr. N, one pro of 5678 team (he lead the steps) and another student. With all the stamina I had, I matched them step to step jumping and kicking. Ofcourse, the steps were not the very difficult ones, which they do on stage. Then came cha-cha-cha. Eyes locked with all my partners, I danced tirelessly executing each step that was taught to prove my mettle.

After the class, Mr.'A'told me to inform ‘J’ too and asked us to be present for the advanced class. I came walking back in the rain, soaked and satisfied. Cooked chicken for dinner and slept with my face cradled by Radhika Jha’s novel, ‘Smell’ letting sleep cure my aching calves.

Monday, July 12, 2004

A few years from now

Name: Arunima K
Age: 32 years
Height: Depends on the heels
Marital Status: Never Married
Religion: Hindu but goes both to the church and temple. The beauty parlour is the temple on thursdays and the church on sundays.
convent educated, fair and slim with chubby cheeks (even after a month in the hospital.)

requirements in the prospective partner
age: no bar
religion: no bar
height: no bar
marital status: single at present/divorcee/widower daurega

Mom called up and said I should be married as dad is retiring soon. I don't know how my marriage is related to dad's retirement. She asked me if I am seeing anyone. I replied Mr. Right is in the manufacturing unit. Managed to make her laugh and changed the topic. Mama, I miss you and I am coming home but when, I know not.

Crystelle, me and Jenny met up.While me and Jenny were planning to go to Hyderabad,C has flown to Delhi twice and recruited 79 people for her company and they are already charting policies to retain the employees too. Procrasti-planning murdabad!

All three sat discussing marriage seriously. Me and J decided to marry within 6 months of each other. We finally concluded,
Mr. Right
`is younger to us
`belongs to other community, caste, religion
`is not in the city, country etc.
so, we were considering online-marriage too. Our discussion was interupted by a fight in the neighbourhood. We just peeped out from J's window to see what it was. The woman was a christian married to a muslim and the father in-law almost took law into his hands. He almost hit the woman but was stopped by his other son.
We decided to sleep,our faith in our parents being restored otherwise, a few years from now, if I don't listen to my parents the matrimonial columns and sites are going to feature me as mentioned above. But, I never led an arranged life, why an arranged marriage?

Thursday, July 08, 2004

now or never

love me now or love me never
if you love me, love me forever
love me like a man and don't become a mouse
otherwise...
next!

make way for the super model, Natasha John

Ladies and gentlemen, hold your breath for I present before you, the one and only Natasha John. Please do not miss her catwalk down the ramp. Oops, she can only stand.
Just nine months old, she is the baby model of our diaper ad.

After many rounds of meetings and mind boggling sessions with our client, the shoot happened yesterday. It was supposed to be for 20 seconds but had to slash it to 10 seconds.

That guy really made us run around. Idiot! he is from IIM Ahmedabad I guess with some 20 years of experience. so what? All clients are idiots. Sometimes they act in such a funny way that even if you draw a donkey they don't understand that it is a donkey. You have to draw the donkey and also label it in block, DONKEY.

Lets see whether this bugger has money to show it in some channels atleast. He just loved calling the entire creative team for some nonsense discussions. One of the meetings was so boring that I had concentrated only on the biscuits. Anyway, coming back to Natasha. I had fallen in love with her hearing her name itself. Like the line in the movie TROY on Helen,'I heard a lot of gossips about your beauty and for once, the gossips seem to be true' She was too cute. Rosy cheeks and cute fat bums. I really loved her bum:-). She did not even cry once in the three hour or so that she was with the crew.

Why do beautiful kids whom everybody would love to play with are often so jolly and those whom people wouldn't give a second look keep on crying is also thought provoking. So, let me add, I guess I seldom cried when I was a kid (haha! i have the ability to laugh at myself)

It was nice to see boss doing the monkey act to make her laugh. She stole everyone's heart. I have a natural affinity towards kids and they have it for me but, I didn't want to try as there is a first time for everything :-)

Her mom, dad, grandpa, grandma came for the shoot and I stood there doing some pedigree analysis on how she is so beautiful. It could be a case of Atavism too as she was the preetiest of them all. Dear Grandchild of mine, if you are not going to be so beautiful please don't mind cos goodlooks is not the first criteria that I am looking out in the person who is gonna be your grand dad. Accidentally, if he happens to be handsome then, nothing like it. I don't have much time to be dating a lot of guys. God bless you!

So, my day was made. work should be like this. Some outdoor shoot once in a while when you get lethargic and watch (not even play) beautiful never-crying kids and get paid for it.

saying this, I got a forwarded message on the practical alternative to work. It goes like this...

Are you lonely?
Hate having to make decisions
Rather talk about it than do it?
then why not hold a meeting?

YOU CAN:
get to see other people
sleep in peace
offload decisions
learn to write volumes of meaningless notes
feel important
impress(or bore) other colleagues
and all in work time

'MEETINGS'
The Practical Alternative To Work